SHAME – How much can you bear?
Tell us a sexual thing/fantasy you would never want your friends to know you like or have done?
As far as most of my friends are concerned I wouldn’t like them to know that I get a kick out of bondage. Also one activity I have kept pretty quiet about over the years is that I once had the “golden shower” experience. You will be able to read about it sometime over the next few months on my sister blog which looks back 20 years ago to precisely the golden era. My friends would be horrified if I ever told them about that. A couple of them even seemed shocked that I have enjoyed anal sex in the past.
Has anyone ever found an item of sexy underwear, a sex toy or perhaps a picture on your phone that embarrassed you?
When I was about 17 I was still living with my Mum. I used to often take my diary in the bathroom with me to write or read after I had bathed. One time I discovered that I had left it in there, in full view, for a whole day. I felt very embarrassed as even at that age my diaries were very explicit. I was involved in my first sexual relationship. My boyfriend was very explorative where sex was concerned and the thought that my Mum or step father may have read about our exploits horrified me. I think I walked around blushing for the following week!
Do you have any fantasies you could never go through with because you think you would feel ashamed?
That’s a difficult one. I often fantasise about a MMF threesome but have not investigated it further – not because I may feel ashamed but because I am not sure in reality if the experience would be what I am after from sexual pleasure.
Have you ever felt shame after a sexual experience?
Yes, too often in the past. Let’s just say I was sexualised early in life and that seemed to mar many of my sexual relationships. After a short while, into a relationship, I would just start feeling dirty after any sex really. This reaction led to me feeling ashamed. I will be discussing this over on Before May Mattered, as at that time I began to recognise a pattern in my sexual behaviour and began to look for answers. It’s been a long haul though.
Incidentally I never felt any shame regarding the golden showers!
Bonus: Share a recent non-sexual moment of SHAME
I really can’t think of any concrete recent moments of shame. Sometimes I can be pretty moody and because of that can behave badly at home. I have done that more than once over the last month. Afterwards I often feel a little embarrassed – I think 😉