WHAT MUST IT FEEL LIKE TO FIND YOURSELF A VIRGIN AT 41 YEARS OLD?
I am always very flattered when I receive mail after someone has read one of my posts. A few weeks ago Rob wrote very candidly to me about his past. With his consent I am now sharing his message with all of you.
Does sex matter? Reckon it does.
I am Rob, a 41-year-old guy and a VIRGIN – yes that’s right still a virgin at 41. There I said it took a little bit, (took some cajones though and mine are like beach balls at the moment).
It’s incredibly frustrating, lonely, crushing – the adjectives are truly endless. I have never been kissed or, touched. Certainly not shagged, how the fuck can you work with that?
This site drew me like a beacon, not because of what you do or are into, more about the CONTEXT, frank discussion without fear of embarrassment.
Imagine having your sexual desires, needs repressed, not explored for 25 + years?
I got an email the other day from a reader on the topic of virginity. It certainly got me thinking. Virginity is a strange concept. What actually is it? If a definition had to be assigned the words used would be along the lines of, “someone who has never had sexual intercourse”.
As a heterosexual teenager I remember great emphasis was laid to bear upon intercourse. It was thought that you had not had “sex” until you had intercourse. By the time I did at the age of 17, I had sucked cock; given hand jobs; had my cunt licked; had my tits played with until I came; been fingered both vaginally and anally. All these acts seem to me to be far more intimate and personal than the act of sexual intercourse. Yet I was still considered a virgin. A word that seems to sum up the image of purity. That wasn’t me.
Taking all the above into consideration, it may appear a trifle hypocritical that after a month of dating my first serious boyfriend, I refused to have sexual intercourse and therefore lose my virginity. He was not one to give up easily and persisted with his cause. He told me he had lost his virginity already to his previous girlfriend – in fact he hadn’t, he was a virgin too. If I had known this I may have succumbed sooner. It would have felt like a new venture we were undertaking together. It was obvious his male ego had to be buttressed by this lie. He needed for me to think he was the experienced one. Continue reading Sexual Intercourse = Loss of Virginity or a Technicality?→
I found myself in a relationship where I had given everything that was on my inside and it felt like little was being returned. Read about it. So I moved on with an open mind but it soon became apparent that he was so un-evolved that he could not see the bigger picture. Everything we shared, he wanted to keep. He wanted me to leave with nothing. This puzzled me as my view on love is that it should be a giving and understanding thing. Just because it did not work out should not mean his morals should slip. Love had existed between us once so why be selfish and immoral after?
Love. Was it real to him?
If the shoe had been on the other foot I would understand that, no matter how much it hurt, if he needed to leave me to be happy then that is what must happen. He failed to recognise this, so did he ever really love me?
Sometimes you just cannot account for things that make you laugh out loud but leave you embarrassed to your core. Such a thing happened to me last year while my partner and I were employed in a little holiday sex.
We were having a joyous period – good things continually raining down upon us- and a magical holiday on a Greek island was one of these happenings.
From our studio room you could view the sea, but the bed itself was over-looked (through the window) from the top of the building outside. When I say over-looked I mean that someone standing on the said roof could see straight into our bed room and indeed view the double bed in its entirety. But why would anyone be on the roof top in the middle of the day when it wasn’t used for anything except for satellite dishes and solar panels?
By midday the temperature on the beach was soaring. The only thing to do was go back to the room, have some lunch, a glass of wine, an afternoon siesta and some raunchy holiday sex.
My body was turning an attractive golden brown and under instruction I was stretched out taut on the bed. My man tied both feet to the corner posts at the bottom of the bed. He came up to the top and kissed me while tying my hands above my head onto the bed board.
I do appreciate that some people reading this may struggle to understand how and why I can put my body under the restraint and control of a man. It is not something I do lightly. It demands a high degree of trust and intensity that strengthens the bond and desire that flows between us. I do it for him, but it is also what I want -and need- from a relationship. It gives me the gift to be totally myself with my man; I wonder how many of you can own that? Continue reading Holiday Sex – Embarrassing Sex?→