Anal Play and Penetration
There are two things I know about anal sex. The first is that nearly every male whether they are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual, have a fascination with it. The second thing is that anybody who receives anal intercourse and anal play in general, should be careful regarding how the act is carried out, following necessary precautions or advice to ensure that your anal cavity is not harmed in anyway.
My passage (if you will excuse the pun) into anal play began as a late teenager. I socialised and indeed became sexualised within a tight group of mixed gender friends. We were relatively open in our opinions and thoughts about sex and often watched dire porn as a leisure activity. It appeared to us that everyone was shoving their fingers and tongues (rimming) in each other’s arses. So this is what we did as a matter of course during sexual activity, and bloody well enjoyed the intensified orgasms we achieved from doing so. It was only later on in life that I realised not all males want to be involved in this kind of set up.
However, my first two sexual partners were part of this group of friends so they thought it was conventional practice. Indeed my first boyfriend had a whole list of erotic recreation for us to pursue. One was anal intercourse. As mentioned, I was used to fingers and tongues being inserted in my anus but I hadn’t had much experience of male anatomy. I looked at his cock and instinctively knew it wouldn’t fit in my anus without a tub of lubrication. Not to mention a lot of force. So I told him an emphatic “no”.
My next boyfriend just had a list of 3 things he wanted to do – apart from the usual stuff.
First: come on my face, yes I know, don’t they all…
Second: insert various phallic shaped objects in my cunt, not all at the same time I hasten to add.
Third: yes you got it, anal intercourse. He was a darling, with a cock I could visualise in my arse so he got to do all three.
We were together some years but only shared anal sex 2 or 3 times. Even then I felt this was something that should be done sparingly and in the right way. In those days there was little in the way of advice and related products readily available to make anal a risk free venture. Not only that, aids propaganda was rife.
As Jaques Brel would say, “NEXT!” – but my next guy was so completely cautious that deviating from vanilla sex was not on his menu. Almost as an antithesis, my following sexual partner attempted anal sex soon after the first date. I had to inform him that a build up of trust would be needed for me to actually accept his cock in my arse. He persisted and I finally relented, but only when I knew I could relax with him. Trusting someone physically and the consequent relaxation of the sphincter are both paramount to the enjoyment.
So we come to my Ex. By the time of this relationship I had a much better understanding of the type of sex I enjoyed, which featured bondage for recreational pleasure rather than intimacy. However he didn’t have it in him to spank me or tie me up. We both enjoyed anal sex and because he demanded frequent penetrative sex we often turned to this. For me the purpose was twofold – I didn’t want to get pregnant, he disliked condoms and I would not use the pill; and as I wasn’t getting the kinky thrills I required from other sexual practices, anal intercourse was deviant and sometimes painful enough for the adrenalin to start flowing.
I enjoy pain, but anal intercourse done correctly should not be painful. I should have made sure we used sufficient lubrication and toys to make the penetration laissez-faire instead of a scene from Brokeback Mountain. We should have explored the subject matter more thoroughly.
That was several year ago. Now I am with my man and because of the experiences with my ex we have gone back to the start where anal play is concerned – we want to get it right. Pain – spanking; whipping – bondage – is at the core of our physical romps, so I don’t require it from anything else. Rather than pain I want physical enjoyment from anal penetration. We recently acquired a butt plug and will explore first with that. You are never too old to learn…
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