Category Archives: Posts

Alpha Male – misunderstood and misrepresented

Alpha male –

alpha male

If you have been reading my posts you are now aware of how I want my man to behave in the bedroom – or in our case, out of the bedroom – but how would I like him to behave in everyday life? Well, I need someone who won’t tolerate any nonsense from me. As a rule I try to get away with anything possible and have what I fondly describe as “princess syndrome.” Put simply this means I would rather have someone else do the mundane things on a day to day basis, even help me off with my boots and fluff around making sure all is good in my world. Continue reading Alpha Male – misunderstood and misrepresented

Gender Dysphoria – For the Love of Our Children


 Gender Dysphoria



When I was ten I began to read widely. Anything to take me away from everyday life, even if only into my head. I devoured books that offered a reality unlike my own. The Tarzan series by Edgar Rice Burroughs was a favourite. I was taken with the backdrop and the characters. I fell in love with the books but I did not fall in love with Tarzan. No, I wanted to be Tarzan.  Jane was OK but that sissy life was not for me! I had a ripe imagination and began to play-act being just like him in the woods with whatever friends I could persuade to join me. Continue reading Gender Dysphoria – For the Love of Our Children 

Have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself fighting hard to get a relationship off the ground? Is it because of the lack of emotional compatibility?

Emotional Compatibility Matters

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Emotional compatibility is so important

Stimulation is so important within a relationship

Ok, have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself fighting hard to get a relationship off the ground? You are sure it has the makings of a meaningful partnership so you invest time, encouragement and most of all love in the person concerned. Your mind is set and any doubts that flutter past are waved away because you are convinced you are doing the right thing with the right person. And maybe for a short while you are, but what happens next confuses you because it is unexpected, it creeps up, slaps you in the face.

As even though in your heart you feel you love this man, you also know he is very lucky to have you loving him, because you believe in yourself and your capabilities. So, after a flying start – where affection and time are lavished on you – an empty vacuum opens up, you become bewildered as to why this could possibly happen. He still smiles at you in that way, wants to make love to you every night and checks your phone! Continue reading Emotional Compatibility Matters in a Long Term Relationship

Virgin at 41 update – Robs story continues…

Virgin at 41 update, from Robs diary entries. Robs true story continues here. I know he would appreciate any comments or advice.

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If you want to read the first post about him click here.

Virgin at 41 update

Dear diary,

That elusive shag has been right on my doorstep, under my nose for a good few months now. Right here in my village!

She latched onto me, whilst waiting for a Chinese a few months ago, couldn’t have been more blatant. I had just moved to the area, and I kinda wasn’t interested/ready, so grouchily I just batted her way.

I see her about now and again, sometimes blank her, sometimes stop and have awkward conversation, my body language closed, but her body language is very open, her eyes light up when she sees me. If I gave her even a modicum of encouragement she would be all over me like a cheap suit. Often I am driving down the road and see her out walking. I scotch down, head below the steering wheel like a headless driver, hoping she won’t see me.

Anyway, I was in my local shop tonight, and up she popped, I was a little less gruff, less awkward and she started talking. I wasn’t really listening but I offered her a lift to where ever she was going. She didn’t hesitate, nodding her head approvingly as loud, grungy, rock music roared from the stereo; although she was slightly unnerved by my aggressive driving. I dropped her off and she gave me her number straight off… guess it’s up to me now. Continue reading Virgin at 41 update – Robs story continues

Stable Relationship – Straw, Sex & Spanking

Sexual Expression Matters
A Stable Relationship Matters

A Stable Relationship.

What can you do to keep your relationship sparky and secure? The stability within my partnership was certainly enhanced when recently we added to our stable relationship  – literally…

I come in from the other room, look around and notice our two guests have disappeared.

“Are we alone?” I ask.

“Yeah, no stamina, they’ve gone for an afternoon nap.”

“How about sex?” I joke.

He leans down and before I realise what is happening he kisses me. I take a breath.

“Come on then,” he smiles.

“We can’t right here, they may get up.”

“How about the stable, they won’t find us there?”

I laugh, loving the eager look in his eyes.

“Come on then,” I am already heading for the door. Continue reading Stable Relationship – Straw, Sex & Spanking

Good Fucking – and other hard core delights

Good Fucking

A good fucking is what a girl like me needs. I thrive sexually on a lot of attention.  Thankfully my man understands this and delivers. Here is one of the many times I was hoping for a good fucking and got one…

Good fucking
Fucking Matters

Just when you think it can’t get much better, you can’t get much more into the groove – you do. You both do and you are left reeling at the good fortune that you manged to find someone so in touch with you, so aware of everything you do. Is it luck, fate or karma?

On holiday

So there we were on holiday in a south Mediterranean location without any date night clothes or indeed makeup except for red lipstick. I apply the said lipstick and dress in white lacy knickers and bra and a white shirt. We eat and drink our champagne, this time a bottle of the local sparkling dry white wine, which incidentally was extremely cheap and  of astounding  quality. Continue reading Good Fucking – and other hard core delights

Virgin at 41 – can YOU imagine what it must feel like?

  WHAT MUST IT FEEL LIKE TO FIND YOURSELF A VIRGIN AT 41 YEARS OLD?

Being a virgin at 41 hurts
Being a virgin at 41 hurts

I am always very flattered when I receive mail after someone has read one of my posts. A few weeks ago Rob wrote very candidly to me about his past. With his consent I am now sharing his message with all of you.

Does sex matter? Reckon it does.

I am Rob, a 41-year-old guy and a VIRGIN – yes that’s right still a virgin at 41. There I said it took a little bit, (took some cajones though and mine are like beach balls at the moment).

It’s incredibly frustrating, lonely, crushing – the adjectives are truly endless. I have never been kissed or, touched. Certainly not shagged, how the fuck can you work with that?

This site drew me like a beacon, not because of what you do or are into, more about the CONTEXT, frank discussion without fear of embarrassment.

Imagine having your sexual desires, needs repressed, not explored for 25 + years?

Being a virgin at 41 is fucking painful indeed.

How and why I got to this point in my life is not totally clear but here’s my story. Continue reading Virgin at 41 – can YOU imagine what it must feel like?

Sexual Intercourse and Virgins…

Does Virginity Matter? When do you lose it?

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Sexual Intercourse – Not for Virgins?

I got an email the other day from a reader on the topic of virginity. It certainly got me thinking. Virginity is a strange concept. What actually is it? If a definition had to be assigned the words used would be along the lines of, “someone who has never had sexual intercourse”.

As a heterosexual teenager I remember great emphasis was laid to bear upon intercourse. It was thought that you had not had “sex” until you had intercourse.  By the time I did at the age of 17, I had sucked cock; given hand jobs; had my cunt licked; had my tits played with until I came; been fingered both vaginally and anally. All these acts seem to me to be far more intimate and personal than the act of sexual intercourse. Yet I was still considered a virgin. A word that seems to sum up the image of purity. That wasn’t me.

Taking all the above into consideration, it may appear a trifle hypocritical that after a month of dating my first serious boyfriend, I refused to have sexual intercourse and therefore lose my virginity. He was not one to give up easily and persisted with his cause. He told me he had lost his virginity already to his previous girlfriend – in fact he hadn’t, he was a virgin too. If I had known this I may have succumbed sooner. It would have felt like a new venture we were undertaking together. It was obvious his male ego had to be buttressed by this lie. He needed for me to think he was the experienced one. Continue reading Sexual Intercourse = Loss of Virginity or a Technicality?

Holiday Sex – Embarrassing Sex?

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Holiday Sex Matters

Sometimes you just cannot account for things that make you laugh out loud but leave you embarrassed to your core. Such a thing happened to me last year while my partner and I were employed in a little holiday sex.

We were having a joyous period – good things continually raining down upon us- and a magical holiday on a Greek island was one of these happenings.

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From our studio room you could view the sea, but the bed itself was over-looked (through the window) from the top of the building outside. When I say over-looked I mean that someone standing on the said roof could see straight into our bed room and indeed view the double bed in its entirety. But why would anyone be on the roof top in the middle of the day when it wasn’t used for anything except for satellite dishes and solar panels?

By midday the temperature on the beach was soaring. The only thing to do was go back to the room, have some lunch, a glass of wine, an afternoon siesta and some raunchy holiday sex.

My body was turning an attractive golden brown and under instruction I was stretched out taut on the bed. My man tied both feet to the corner posts at the bottom of the bed. He came up to the top and kissed me while tying my hands above my head onto the bed board.

I do appreciate that some people reading this may struggle to understand how and why I can put my body under the restraint and control of a man. It is not something I do lightly. It demands a high degree of trust and intensity that strengthens the bond and desire that flows between us. I do it for him, but it is also what I want -and need- from a relationship. It gives me the gift to be totally myself with my man; I wonder how many of you can own that? Continue reading Holiday Sex – Embarrassing Sex?

Living Matters – June 2016

SM BLOGMake it Matter

Well, I had a bit of misfortune recently that has left me laid up in bed or resting for at least the next few weeks, possibly more. When you are an agile, able bodied, independent woman like me and you find yourself reliant on someone else 24/7, you feel humbled and subservient and somewhat frustrated.  

 
My relationship with my man is bound up in many things: chemistry, desire, compatibility, engagement, spontaneity, attraction, captivation, need. We care about each other greatly and show this in the time we devote to each other, but not usually by having to physically take care of the other person on a day to day basis.

 
His total selflessness in the way he is looking after me has made me feel very meek and reflect on my good fortune of having him as my man.

I am not worthy.

When I first met him many years ago I knew that in some areas I was, as the phrase goes, batting above my weight. Such a situation could find me attempting to push the limits, needing to maintain a level of control. But at this time we had different lives to live. We parted amicably without knowing if we would ever meet again. However, it remained in my memory that It was not common for me to have met someone like him. I felt I slotted in with him so comfortably, while still maintaining high levels of adrenalin-fuelled feelings.

 
I certainly believed it was our destiny to find each other in another time, another place. Without him I would be a lesser person. Without him I would not challenge myself. Without him I would not experience immensely blissful times dotted with pure exasperation.

 
When I look at him, or the components of him, I am filled up inside with warmth and delight. When I listen to him I hear music. His scent fills my nostrils and desire rises in me. I touch him and I am often lost in another world where just the two of us exist.

 
These last few weeks have felt almost torturous for me at times. Not only am I captive but I am not allowed to feel his belt on my skin; his hand as it lands firmly on my face; his cock as it intrudes into my cunt before I am properly awake in the morning. At night I sniff the air and smell him, wanting to push my body against him and let him take control of me, in the way only he has been able to. I am not allowed.

Living Matters

I can now look back and see how lucky we have been. We have indulged ourselves in sexual hedonism tinged with deep desire and love. How many people are fortunate to get all that within their coupling?

Laying here I long for this illness to be over. I don’t think in general I took my life for granted, but once I am well and able I will be sure to savour every single moment. Living matters!

Read here what I got up to before this.

Belt your bitch on the beach - fun in the sun!
Belt your bitch on the beach – fun in the sun!