Kink of The Week Sept 16-30: Hand Spanking
Receiving, but not giving, a hand spanking is a great pleasure of mine. It is a part of my make up; probably a need. It brings me into the here and now, enabling me to focus on who I am.
There is certainly an element of control involved. When being spanked you are ceding that power to another person. So anybody who is spanking me must enjoy doing it for their own sake, not just because I want it. They must relish such control. It loses all its intensity and thrill if undertaken just to please me.
My first spanking came out of the blue with a casual boyfriend I had years ago. You can read about it on my less well-known blog. I experienced such a thrill when I felt his hand hit my bare bum during a sexual romp. Finally someone was giving me what I needed, what I deserved. It was the realisation that this type of sex play could be enjoyed by anyone. Now I could drop the shame I had previously felt about wanting to feel pain.
Hand Spanking Kinky
For many years I really struggled with my desire for kinky sex. One man – a particularly vanilla long term partner – viewed my needs as sordid. This made such acts feel dirty. So when the next guy spanked me I realised there were others with the same wants as me.
This occurred in the second incarnation of my relationship with my man. When we got together this time I had other commitments and took time to free myself. My man would talk to me at length as to why our union would be powerful. Then one day he took me to bed. We began kissing and touching, plus a little bit of arse spanking. All of a sudden he held my head firmly with one hand and with the flat palm of the other gave me to two sharp slaps to my face.
I stopped in my tracks. For a moment I simply thought,
Can I endure a man hitting me in such a manner?
The hesitation was momentary – suddenly I was overwhelmed by lust. This man was taking control of me, letting me know that he was not scared to do so. At last somebody who knew his own mind rather than being at the mercy of mine.
Sealing the Deal
At that moment it became clear that I was his woman. Later we talked about why he had slapped me and how I felt about it. It was quite a risky action for him to take so early in the day, before he had sealed the deal with me. He simply thought it was the right thing to do, and one way or another it would change the status quo.
For me it was like an epiphany. A man who would and could stand up to me. I felt positive and loved. In discussion we agreed that if used frequently the impact would not be the same. Loose terms were negotiated.
Sting of Pain
During our sexual play hand spanking in general is very much part of our relationship. It makes me feel horny most of the time but occasionally a good spanking helps me to focus on reality. I like to feel the sting of pain but only rarely want it to be extremely hurtful. Otherwise, like the face slapping, it would lose some of its power. When it does become too painful I have the ability to zone out – disconnect. If this happens I tend to forget much of the sexual activity that surrounds it.
The Last Time
The most recent spanking was only last night. A small horse whip was used on me first and then I felt the power of his hand. Two or three hard, sharp strikes to one buttock ad then the other. Delightful! After, his head went between my legs and he licked me to climax.
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