Sexology – the psychology of sex
Sexology ~ After this week’s TMI Tuesday you may say, “Get out of my head!”
Interestingly enough, when my man and I first met many years ago and had a short liaison – (you can read about how I met him and my sex life in general from 1997 here) – we would often say to each other “why are you always trying to get into my head”. We understood more about each other than either of us wanted to admit, so we used that phrase to try and not let our defenses down.
For you, can sex be separated from love?
Yes nearly always for me. I do not equate sex with love, or love with sex. I love my man but that is not the reason I want to have sex with him. If I try and tie the two together then I have a sexual anxiety problem. I love sex, I don’t want that to happen
Can sex be separated from caring?
Yes, sex can be separated from caring on many occasions. Except, if you mean I care whether I am going to be fucked hard and fast – then I do! The other time I put caring and sex together is when I don’t feel horny but my man does. Then I enjoy giving him pleasure, because I care.
Women: Is sex secondary to intimacy, physical closeness, and commitment?
For me sex and intimacy are separate issues both important but not necessarily occurring together. I want sex but not with the pressure of having to be intimate during the act. I like to be a dirty slut not a prissy girlie. Sex for sex sake is my motto. We are intimate at other times, its part of the way we live.
Physical closeness is very important and go hand in hand with sex. I need that physical nearness with my man. It helps keep the closeness and intimacy between us in our day to day life. All seems right in my world when my man and I have been physical. To quote Nero from his blog recently,
“She’d made me cum, I’d made her cum, and all was good in the world again.”
Sex isn’t secondary to commitment – In my current relationship they are as important as each other. The quality of sex we have would not happen without the commitment.
Who is more discriminating in choosing sexual partners–you or your significant other?
We have both been pretty bad at finding a compatible sexual partner before each other. Though he has had way more sexual relationships than me – so many more you wouldn’t believe!
Bonus: Who is more likely to take on additional sexual partners, you or your significant other?
With him having the history of being a tart I sometimes think he would be the one to want more partners or cheat – but we are so content with each other that I am trusting and hoping the bond we have will provide all the stimulation and engagement we both need.
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