Are you “in love” with your significant other or are you simply compatible.
Scientist claim that being “in love” only last within the first six months of a relationship.
Scientists can claim what they want, and they often simply fabricate their findings to agree with a pre-determined hypothesis. I do understand that you simply would not achieve much at all if you were “in love” the whole time. Being “in love”, in my opinion, creates a type of madness in you. That said I think that putting a constraint of 6 months on it is short sighted. I was “in love” almost constantly with my significant other for about 2 years.- this was a long time, such a duration had not happened to me before. As that subsided I found thankfully that I also loved and cared about him deeply. It is very sad when you cease to be “in love” with a person and also find that concept was all there was to your relationship – you do not have any other kind of affectionate feelings towards them.
That being said I vacillate between being in and out of love with my man on a weekly basis. I think this is normal and healthy. But whether I am “in love” or not with him at a particular time he still remains my man, who comes from a similar place as I do.
Do you solve problems with your significant other (s.o.) or are you the real and only problem solver.
A relationship has a stronger bond when both people in the relationship work toward resolving issues whether it be with kids, finances, management of home, etc.
We do a lot of practical things together. The life we live means there are times when we are literally together 24/7. With some issues we have realised that one or the other is better equipped mentally and/or physically to solve it on their own. However, there are many times when we pool our resources to resolve a problem. I do agree this adds weight to your attachment.
If you live with your s.o. do you both do chores and have equal amount of chores in the household?
Research shows resentment mounts in couples who have an imbalance in household chore duties.
With regards to this issue we are reasonably well balanced. We agreed at the start of our relationship that we would not nag the other in respect of chores. We decided that if you wanted something done that much you would do it yourself. That said I think we both do our share.
There will always be some chore division based on who goes out to work the most and sometimes also based on your sex. This is not a popular angle to take and I do not mean a women should always do the cooking – my significant other cooks far more than me because he enjoys it and is exceptionally good at it. For instance if some wood needs cutting or something heavy lifted then often the man is better equipped to carry out the task. When my SO cooks, I will wash up. Its about sharing really.
Is your relationship meaningful to you for companionship or is it personally fulfilling?
Marriage in the U.S.A. has changed over time from being for survival (home, food), to companionate love during most of the 20th Century, to 1960s to present being about personal fulfillment.
My significant other is my companion, my partner, my lover and my best friend. This is my most fulfilling relationship to date; sexually; intellectually; and on a personal level. I do need that passion that can wane over time so a companionate relationship would not do for me. Though I recognise its worthy place in society and the family unit. My man and I have a sexual chemistry between us that keeps the passion alive. We also work at this element of our relationship with “date nights” etc. We talk a lot and share experiences constantly. The intimacy we share is separate from our sexual union, our minds are intimate. Though to sustain this I do need to have lots of sexual activity between us – whereas the acts themselves may not be intimate, by performing them we create a more insinuate bond between us.
Because of all of the above we have a very intense relationship. The intensity can explode in times of stress. These arguments can be extreme. Bu if you never experience demons you wont be equipped to recognise the angels…
The pictures that illustrates this TMI is very apposite. I do believe you make the correct choice in a partner when you are able to recognise in them compatible demons. When I first met my SO that feeling was overwhelming. It was instinctive. It is not something you experience often. When you do you know it.
In general do people think of you as a “couple” with your s.o. or do they connect with you individually just as much as a connecting with you as a couple. (Do you feel you’ve lost your individuality since being in a serious romantic relationship?)
We are both very individual in our separate ways. Since being a couple people have commented how suited we are from an objective standpoint. My children comment that we become more like each other every day. With that said I feel I’m able to express my individuality more than ever before, because he accepts me truly for who I am.
Bonus: You are invited to a large cocktail party at a fancy country club where you know no one. When you arrive, the room where the party is being held is already half full of people–naked people. How do you react when you enter the room?
I love being naked. Always have done. I would first check I was in the correct place. If I was I would quickly consume a large cocktail then find out where to put my clothes…