Virgin at 41 update – Robs story continues…
Virgin at 41 update, from Robs diary entries. Robs true story continues here. I know he would appreciate any comments or advice.
If you want to read the first post about him click here.
Virgin at 41 update
That elusive shag has been right on my doorstep, under my nose for a good few months now. Right here in my village!
She latched onto me, whilst waiting for a Chinese a few months ago, couldn’t have been more blatant. I had just moved to the area, and I kinda wasn’t interested/ready, so grouchily I just batted her way.
I see her about now and again, sometimes blank her, sometimes stop and have awkward conversation, my body language closed, but her body language is very open, her eyes light up when she sees me. If I gave her even a modicum of encouragement she would be all over me like a cheap suit. Often I am driving down the road and see her out walking. I scotch down, head below the steering wheel like a headless driver, hoping she won’t see me.
Anyway, I was in my local shop tonight, and up she popped, I was a little less gruff, less awkward and she started talking. I wasn’t really listening but I offered her a lift to where ever she was going. She didn’t hesitate, nodding her head approvingly as loud, grungy, rock music roared from the stereo; although she was slightly unnerved by my aggressive driving. I dropped her off and she gave me her number straight off… guess it’s up to me now.
Could make that monkey on my back a Cosmo nought – blast it right into outer space -whenever I light the touch paper. There would be a few minutes of initial apprehension from me, but I feel that would soon dissipate, and she might get more than she bargained for! There’s 25 years of sexual rage waiting to come out.
Oh and there is a super-hot redhead flirting with me at work too. I rock… Things are looking up! Up to me now, and I probably won’t even have to ask nicely- if at all.
So, I’m knocking her bandy… not literally – yet. I got tripped out- chatting to someone from a dating site- sent my brain totally scatty, even crashed a vehicle at work! Well it would appear that I have had a similar effect on the local women. The woman I gave a lift to ‘D’-
gave her a call, more like a voicemail somewhere along the lines of – ‘alright what’s on?’ – it’s a Cornish thing. I had called from my landline and she sent a flurry of text messages to it. This converted into an automated speech text thing, which I could not make head nor tail of, especially as I had just hit the sack trying to get some sleep for an early rise for work the next morning. I was like “yeah whatever.”
Next morning, I sent her a message from my mobile. All quite for a while, then, ironically just as I was having an initial telephone consultation to set up some sexual and relationship counselling, my mobile explodes with messages and missed phone calls. All the while I’m on the other line trying to tell this counsellor about the monkey on my back, whilst also saying that I’ve got a woman relentlessly texting and calling exactly at that time. So, I adapt and say that I was indeed quite hopeful of having my ‘status’ changed by the time I get to the counsellors’ couch, and it would be a case of talking about what happens next and how this is likely to open new and yet of un thought of desires and kinks, emotions.
‘D’ was getting crazy now, thinking that I was ignoring her, the messages kept coming- this does concern me somewhat- she’s coming across as a bit of a nutter. Hmm, could say a few similar traits to me. Although I don’t wish to indulge such behaviours any more- clear she wants a piece of me but at what price??
Would be a certainty. could nail her easy, but also need to consider this is a small town, she lives with her family- if I fuck her and run, then it could be all pitchforks and burning torches surrounding my abode at night! If I stick with her then I’ll be having a big fat Cornish gypsy wedding in no time. I’m only partially joking about this shit, it could get me into potential tricky territory.
My instincts are telling to take a swerve on this one, no matter that she’s got something I need and practically offering it on a silver platter.
So, I have myself a fuckbuddy! – Isn’t sealed with a fuck yet, but it’s on! It’s D the woman from the village that I WAS going to avoid. Bumped into her yesterday and we were both a bit furtive and awkward, but we started talking a bit more frankly about our needs; turns out she just wants fucking! So, I texted her my filthy thoughts all night and she responded with equally filthy gusto, GREAT!
But there’s always a fucking caveat isn’t there? Seems to be with me anyway – the small village thing we got here, where everybody knows who is fucking who – my landlord is the worst protagonist of them all, dear old fella, but he misses nothing, eyes of an eagle and ears of a hound-dog. Basically, she feels we can’t fuck in town, at my place or hers, so we are going to have to go out into the country and get filthy in my car or in a barn or a haystack or the sand dunes on the beaches- as initiations go that could be quite an adventure! Might end up inadvertently stumbling into the dogging scene- or knowingly!
Anyway, we must wait a few days, as she’s got her period, and then my work commitments, but I’m going to have a wheatsheaf sticking out of my arse soon enough! Can’t wait to get balls deep. Ah fucking needed this for so long!
Well I am kind of getting some – of sorts! I know a bit about the female anatomy now. We have tried twice, once in my car in a clay quarry. Quarry workers kept on walking by – we aren’t dogging exhibitionists, it didn’t work too well, learned a bit though. Then we tried back at mine and I could not sustain a hard-on enough to enter her, seems like the pressures over the years have affected me deeply.
Been up n down with depression, it’s not necessarily solely linked to this, beginning to realise/accept that it is perhaps something I suffer from generally, that’s just as frustrating and shitty as the sex thing, it hurts, found it difficult lately.
Could be argued I have made progress (I have), doing positive things; Yoga, going to counselling. Working hard and having a laugh sometimes. Going for round 3 in a hotel next week, might be more conducive setting.
Technically I am a virgin anymore! I entered her, albeit for not very long, as I am still having problems with my erection. Not sure what to make of it really. Obviously, I am disappointed – gutted – so was she. Is it a case of her not turning me on? The pressures of needing this so bad that when the time came to perform I could not? A wider problem with my function? I don’t know if it is a cause for concern? Still I’ve overcome a few hurdles – just a different set of challenges to face up to now…
So, I am getting some! technically not a virgin anymore!
Bravo! we should be all saying?
But… Ok so I have someone that ticks some boxes, she is very into me. Her verbal communications, and her pussy aren’t lying- its wet. She recognises that I’m am a very decent guy and she is fighting tooth and claw to make me feel like a king sexually.
She has sucked me off like her life depended on it, tugged me off, I have penetrated her… Whatever I cannot come, then in the end it just droops off.
What the hell?
Bought her (us) a rabbit, used it with her, turns me on like hell, but when it comes to putting ME to good use I’m not functioning like I should. I don’t know what to think. It’s like I am putting all my efforts into foreplay, I am learning about the female anatomy and the physical and mental responses. I love it! but it is at a detriment to my needs and pleasure? I end up letting both of us down. Its so disappointing and frustrating, maybe she does not turn me on enough? It is as if I have been waiting for this all my life and when it comes to it I just freeze…
However, if you have read my previous entries you will know that it hasn’t been easy for many different reasons, and then there is an utterly sexual vixen of a woman at work that is driving me fucking bonkers (most of my colleagues too!) Probably a fantasy and out of my reach, but (in my mind at least) she has given me some searing indications. I would jump through flaming hoops, give her Cartier and champagne to get with her: (ironically I can afford it too!) But she would probably shit on me and end up hurting me. When I try to fuck the woman that is right in front of me is it this other one in my subconscious? Probably. Fucking hell.
Read here about how i lost my virginity.
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