I have been writing on my blog since 2017. When I first ventured into the realm of lifestyle blogging, I thought carefully about who I told about my project. I mean, openly writing about my life, the sex I had, and sometimes testing out a few adult toys, didn’t really seem like proper after dinner conversation.
When I realised the wicked Wednesday prompt was belongings I knew I would write something from my heart, from my life instead of wrapping this complex theme up in a humorous made up tale – oh I did that too!
Seriously, belongings ‘is’ – ‘are’ a serious matter. Over the last two and a half months I have thought deeply about this topic. Why? Well, not so long ago I had to say goodbye to probably more that half the things I owned. Many were precious items that if a sudden disaster hadn’t struck my life I would have probably beaten up a bugler burglar to keep them in my possession. But as many of you know our home was struck with a toxic mold and we had to move fast. Health became more important than things. However, knowing this does not stop me from missing the bits and pieces I will never see again.
I could list them here as they are on my mind – often at night – but that would be cruel – to me. And I am striving to move past the loss, as all they were are things.
So why does it hurt so much?
Much of the stuff that had to go was also because we didn’t have anywhere to store bulk items. We didn’t know where we would be living – my man had to act fast to pack what he could. There was a deadline to meet. And all the while he had removed me from the health risk while still putting himself in the firing line. Things had to go because we had too much stuff, and also some of it was damaged by the toxins in the air.
Back to the hurt. My hurt stems from the fact many of the items I lost were originally my mums or uncles. People who are dead and meant a good deal to me – but I must remind myself it is no use holding on to dead peoples possessions simply because I can no longer have the pleasure of their company. Instead I should learn to cherish their memories. Relish the fact they appear in my dreams and while alive provided me with a sense of self – and self worth. My mum would say – have your health and throw all your possessions away. She was such a dear.
The funny thing is I enjoy not having much around me – I like space and clutter can aggravate me. Perhaps I should make more of the photos I’ve saved. Create a collage then I can look at those I still hold dear, and let go of the fact I lost what was never mine in the first place – their possessions.
Seems like plan.
Please take 7 mins – apparently that is how long it may take you to read – this true story about when I may have met my dad… It covers an eureka type moment I experienced recently, when a piece of my life puzzle fitted into place 😉