relationship adapt

Adapt, Improve, Accept and Move On

The question I ask these days is not really how sexy I am, it is more – am I alive?

This is a bit of a negative rant. So you may want to avoid it and read this light hearted flash fiction series I have been writing instead.

Adaptation Problems

Life has altered so much over the last 18 months. Many people are seeming to adapt to work and relationship changes. That doesn’t seem to be happening to me. I think the life I am being told to live is so secondary to what I enjoyed in the past that at present I am not yet wholly willing to accept it. Generally I feel less alive, less attractive, less alert, less sexual and less free than I was two years ago.

I don’t think any part of me, my life or what I am doing, is an improvement to what it was in the past. Yes – I’m older, but before I was finding clarity, tolerance, understanding and wisdom with age. But now, with the various restrictions, getting older seems to come with a letting go of ones hopes and beliefs.

I am sorry this reads glum. I am by nature an adaptable person. It wouldn’t have been possible for me to do the job I did before Covid if I didn’t possess this trait. But it really does seem what is being offered at the moment – for many people – is not anything even a chicken should adapt to. Did you know I love chickens?

The powers that be seem to expect us all to simply adapt, improve and move on. It is not that easy.

All I seem to do is ruminate. Oh yes the good old days! How boring is that. How boring am I! Funny thing was before this state of emergency I was never one for looking back. I was always constantly changing, evolving and moving on. Looking forward. But now the past looks pretty good to me.

When the world started with the lockdowns it was to make sure the older people didn’t suffer too much from Covid. However, many elderly have had mental and emotional problems related to isolation. I think if they had been asked in the beginning, what they wanted, most would have took their chances with Covid – just to keep seeing their families. Yes, I understand if we had gone down that route we may have found ourselves with a pandemic on our hands. Oh, we have that anyway.

I may be behaving pretty negatively as I have been below par health wise. One of the symptoms is my mind feels like it is coated in layer of cotton wool causing a more or less constant muzzie-ness. That feeling can add to depressive thoughts etc.

But… I am looking forward. And hope that I will have positive and perhaps even sexy posts to write in the very near future. We are literally moving and I am confident this will make a big difference to my health and mindset. I appreciate that so many of you, so many people in general, have struggled – for numerous different reasons – over the recent months. If you have adapted well, then you’re a better person than I. But I do have hope. So I’m still in the game…

20 thoughts on “Adapt, Improve, Accept and Move On”

  1. “It seems that those in power expect us all to just adapt, improve, and move on. It’s not that easy.”
    It’s really not easy. Those in power and those who joined them hoped that the population would get sick, someone would die, but “collective immunity” would be developed. After that, you can return to your old life. But the vaccines do not work or do not. The virus mutates. And the return to the old life does not work. So, as one widely known in narrow circles said: whatever you do with a person, he stubbornly crawls into the cemetery.

  2. I think we all have to keep looking forward … for hope and sanity, and brighter more sharing times. A change (any change!!!) is always good for one’s self-motivation, so I hope your move will help in that respect.
    Best wishes !!!
    Xxx – K

  3. Knowing a little about you I can see why it has been so hard. You are definitely a person who has always looked forward so to feel yourself looking back would be very hard. I hope that things improve for you soon my friend 😊

  4. I get this weird feeling. I too have trouble “adapting”. Sitting at home all day with nowhere to go to makes me stir crazy. Idk how people just cope with this by watching Netflix and having chats on zoom. But recently I went to the big city when the first restaurants opened up and especially the younger generations were having parties, get-togethers, picnics and other social activities out on the streets. It was wonderful. I am optimistic that we will look back at this period and recognize the utter insanity.

    Strangely I made new friends during the lockdowns who also did not care very much about what the government said about meeting other people. I am a gloomy person myself but I tried to never loose hope for the sake of my mental health. I hope things work out for you. Moving is a great way to start anew, change things from the past. Good luck.

    1. Hey Paul. I am glad you are feeling optimistic 😉 that makes me think I will too…
      Seriously, I agree about the move. I feel very positive about it even though we lost a lot by having to leave our other home so quickly.
      Wishing you and your family well
      May x

  5. I really hope that when you move to another home, your health will start to improve and over time we will get back our funny and sexy May. It is possible that this will not happen immediately, as we all would like, but you will have to be patient and, possibly, get more careful supervision of doctors. What you have faced in your life is a very serious problem that you (and your husband together) overlooked for a reason unknown to me. The fact that this could (or rather, should) happen was understood many months ago when you wrote about the flood in your house. After such a phenomenon, it is almost impossible to avoid the occurrence of black mold. Somewhere else the ancients wrote: – If black mold appears in the house, burn the house and never settle in this place again.
    So run from there, and as fast as possible.

  6. I know things have been so hard for you, May, and really wish for you to start feeling like yourself again once you have moved. You have hope, and that’s a big thing to have. Hold onto it. You deserve some good times, for sure!
    ~ Marie xox

    1. Dear Marie – you have had a lot more challenging things to face than me! And hope – let’s both take some of that.
      May <3 xx

  7. I love chickens as well and that photo is adorable. I can’t imagine how people around the world coped with such long lockdown periods. I feel like we are living in a dystopian future movie!

  8. I’m still seeing the real you in your posts May, even though you have pulled some grey old blankets over yourself. I hope you have some ideas adding spark to you very soon. Relocation will help matters improve, I’m sure.

    1. I am not lacking in ideas – I have quite a few – but am just tired and not inspired by life in general – but I will move forward eventually – I think I need to sleep a lot first lol
      May xx

  9. You’re still in the game and that’s the main thing. We all struggle and I have also found the last year difficult. But we have hope and I know we will have a better future. Sending love E x

    1. I think the last year has been difficult for so many and I know people who have far worse problems than I have had – I just needed to rant – then it is out and I can look forward
      May x

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