I didn’t start my periods until I was fourteen and a month. The second to last girl in the class. I was beginning to feel a bit of a freak and longed for the flow to begin – that’s what I anticipated it would be like.
A good friend of mine started when we were in our first year of secondary school. She didn’t tell any of us, only just eleven years old, but we noticed a red stain on her PE skirt. She lied and told us it was jam. In those days talking about periods was almost taboo.
An interesting thing is apparently your legs keep on growing until your periods start. I read this somewhere and I remember when I was thirteen I looked a little like Bambi. My legs seemed to go on and on. It is my personal theory that your hands stop growing when your period arrives too. So many of my friends, who were early developers, have small hands. And I have long legs and long fingers. Of course, another thing to mention at this point is men are not meant to like girls with long fingers for obvious reasons! Thankfully, my man is not hung up about the size of his dick and loves my touch.
I become a woman
So, I digress. The day finally came. The floodgates opened and I bled – a bit. My mum, bless her, was really behind the times and when I told her she gave me these enormous nappy looking pads. I was so embarrassed and would need to have bled all week to fill one. I eventually explained to her that I needed the modern thinner ones to stick to my knickers. She dutifully went out and bought them for me. Naturally, she wore tampons. That was the done thing in those days.
And thank goodness I had the slimmer pads as the end of that very year I was off to my first ever new year’s eve party and I started bleeding on the morning of new years eve. I threw myself on to my bed in tears. The initial novelty, and grown up feeling I had experienced a few months previous with my first period, had already faded. Now all I could think was that the boys at the party may notice as I had my favourite very tight cords to wear.
However, I managed to get myself together enough to attend the party and had my first proper snog with a boy.
I didn’t get around to using tampons until I first had sex at seventeen. They didn’t seem to fit my cunt before then. I went on to use them for a few years. During that time I was travelling and one time I forgot I’d inserted one earlier and pushed another one in behind it. I was mortified when I realised what I had done as I hated putting my fingers into my cunt for any reason – still do – so my boyfriend, Jim, had to retrieve both tampons for me. He was a good sort. Soon after that, the big scare about Toxic Shock Syndrome came along so I went back to using sanitary pads.
As far as pain was concerned I would get a dull ache that seemed to envelop my whole pelvis for a day or so before I bled and then probably for the first day too. If I drank too much alcohol this would escalate to such an extent that I felt like I could hardly breathe with the pain. This all changed when I had a baby and the monthly pain lessened.
Other bloody matters
Once I had given birth I was told I would bleed for a few weeks. I don’t think this is technically a period but seeing as we are talking about bloody matters I will include it. I carried on for six weeks and was eventually rushed to hospital as they realised I’d retained placenta. Informing me that if it had ruptured I could have haemorrhaged. They scrapped my womb out and all seemed fine.
Except it wasn’t fine as my periods stopped completely. It was about this time that I got involved in nutrition and took matters into my own hands. I found out about natural progesterone and under the guidance of a nutritionist I began to use it and my periods returned. With my new found knowledge I learned how diet could ease the pain each month. It worked reasonably well but I still had and do still have the associated hormonal mood swings.
The mood swings begin a few days running up to the first release of blood. It is only in hindsight, after my period has finished, that I realise how irrationally I have behaved. While menstruating if I say that black is actually white then you would have a hard job convincing me otherwise. I also am less trusting and strangely paranoid. This can cause some disputes. As the years have gone on I have learned to try and keep it in check to lessen the arguments. I started writing things down in a notebook to look back on and also as a way of getting it out of my system rather than letting it out on whoever was my partner at the time. When I read back it is always clear to see that I was indeed a little crazed and actually nobody was actually out to get me, or leave me, or cheat on me.
Sex and my period
I often find my self feeling hornier when I am bleeding and have never let the red stuff stop me from having sex. In fact, I did use it as a method of birth control – I am not advocating this – just saying. When I met my man in our first incarnation we didn’t even have intercourse. He was not into that so we did sex things – as we like to call them. We became very good friends. Once when I was on my period he went down to lick me –
I hastily squealed, “I am on my period.”
To which he replied, “it is all part of you, doesn’t put me off at all.”
That is where I got the initial idea for my series the curse. It is the story of a guy who can’t get enough menstrual blood.
Getting older & bloody matters
I am of that age now where my periods are becoming shorter. They have never lasted longer than 5 days anyhow – I have been lucky like that, but now I only bleed for about three. I will be quite happy when all this par-larva ends, to be honest. I do not think I need periods to feel like a woman.
I’m every woman 😉
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Header photo taken by me – Happy Valentines Day...