Born to Run Away ~ Memoirs

run away

When I saw Mrs Fever’s prompt was RUN I immediately thought back to the first post I wrote for her summer project – Run like the wind.

And I didn’t think I had anything else to offer the memoir meme on that topic. But then I suddenly remembered – When I was about 9 years old I ran away from my home.

Why this event didn’t come into my head as soon as I saw the prompt I don’t know as I have often thought back on that strange evening, but memories can be funny at times. Also I’m not particularly proud of what I did but more so I am not proud of how I felt.

Run Away

Looking back I wonder what possessed me to run away in the first place? I know I was unhappy. Which may have been to do with a what happened with my dad and then him leaving. But how can anyone be sure what tips the scales for a kid to make them want to be somewhere else rather than in the security of their home?

I lived opposite a girl who was a year older than me – Becca. We had been friends since we were about five and permitted out to play on the street in-front of our houses. By the time I was eight or nine we were allowed over to the field next to my house.

I remember it was summer and I had be nagging Becca for days to run away with me. I had absolutely no idea where we would go. All that consumed me was the need to leave. But in my opinion Becca was a wimp and very sensibly kept on persuading me that we should go home when street play allotted time was up.

I would stamp back  into my house and stomp upstairs to get ready for bed. Slamming a few doors for good measure. The only time I was not horrid at home during this period was when my Gran was around. It seemed to me she treated me like a grown up.

One evening I knocked for Becca as usual and she flew out of the door. Her face red. She was huffing and puffing, lips pursed together in a line. Yep, she was mad about something.

As we walked over the field together she explained her mum was going to marry her boyfriend and it meant they would have to move away. Over the other side of town, plus a change of school. And Becca was not happy.

Ready and willing to take advantage of this situation I persuaded Becca tonight was the night we should run away. We had already walked further than usual while we were chatting and Becca looked around and realised that she was in an unfamiliar street. However I knew where we were,  as the road was part of my walk to school.

Suddenly she agreed, “let’s do it.”

At this point we actually started running. We were past our curfew and the street lights were coming on.

After about ten minutes I too didn’t recognise where I was. That made me happy. Finally I was somewhere else. Not home. Not near home. Uncharted territory. And for some reason that seemed to settle rather than scare me.

But of course we had not planned anything. It was nearly dark and we both began to feel the cold. Where could we go?

Becca started moaning and sobbing. I felt disgusted with her but also annoyed at my self for not having been more pragmatic and brought coats and food. So I curtly told her to stop sniveling. And began to look around me.

Without going much further I saw a road that was near to a friend’s house and knew I could get us back from there. We were nearly three hours late. Almost at the same time a police car pulled up along side us. Popped us in the back and drove us home.

As we drew up to my house both our mums came running out in tears, frantically sweeping us up into their arms. Becca was almost hysterical by now and I felt absolutely nothing.

But I was a smart kid and knew my life would be easier if I then did two things. Start crying. So I did. And say,

“I am so sorry Mum. We got lost.”



Reflecting

Many of you who read my blog know I loved my mum dearly. I think at that time in my life I was more mixed up than I knew and felt very disconnected from my self and my life. I was going through the motions.

On reflection I do think the incident and my childhood in general has had quite a bearing on the way I’ve turned out. I am a bit of a runner – particularly if it relates to my emotional survival. If that makes sense?

Epilogue

Becca and her family moved soon after. Then many years later, when I was a student. I managed to secure an office job over the Summer holidays. Her stepdad – the guy they moved in with – was my boss. I didn’t realise until one day Becca walked into the office to meet him for lunch. We hadn’t seen each other for over ten years but knew the other immediately.

sb4mh run away
Run Away – Disconnect
run away
Born to RUN away

 

 

17 thoughts on “Born to Run Away ~ Memoirs

  1. Haha I am not surprised at all that you were that smart kid who would cry, just because you knew it’d benefit you and of course it would. It’s so interesting you felt calm for being away from home like that, rather than distressed. Somehow reading it the way you’ve written it it makes perfect sense to me – as much as it made sense to you as that child back then.

    What you say in your reflection also makes sense to me and I think you convey what you mean in a rather striking way.

    It’s funny how you met her again 10 years later, just like that.

    1. Yes – we shared a lot as a child and even thou i realised back then she did not match up to my “balls” I have rarely meant anyone that has – so i look back fondly x

  2. Aww, it’s so nice that you and Becca ran into each other again later. Such a coincidence her stepdad was your boss. As for running away, I have never thought of doing that, but reading this just reminded me of another story I could’ve told for the ‘run’ prompt. Like you say, memories are strange things and they don’t always seem to pop up with only one word. I also totally get running for your emotional survival. I can relate.
    ~ Marie xox

  3. I can remember planning to run away too but it never quite seemed to work. It is amazing that you came across each other again later on. Are you still in touch? x

  4. I think I thought about running away several times but I don’t think I ever did. I really was blessed with good parents who provided a loving home. I was regularly spanked though. I’m of an age where most kids were spanked growing up.

    1. My mum only smacked me once – across my bare thighs when i called my brother a ponce – she said do you know what that word means- i was about 6 at the time so didn’t lol

  5. I can remember playing at running away, after I saw the pantomime Dick Whittington, hence I was trying to carry my possessions in a cloth bundle hooked on a walking stick! Yep nothing useful in there like food or warm clothes!

  6. I made a plan to run away once. I made said plan with my little brother, which was a mistake (of sorts), because he got so excited about it that he told my parents about it. *laugh*

      1. Oh yes, I had grand plans.

        (Don’t we all when we’re six years old?) 😉

        I’m pretty sure I had plans to start my own zoo at about that age too. I particularly wanted an elephant. I figured if I got one, it could live in my mom’s vegetable garden. 😛

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