careless talk

It is my opinion that after Catch the Catcher this story – Careless Talk – is my best work. The plot, set during the second world war, is fiction but the historical content is correct. I researched it thoroughly. It is longer than my normal posts but I didn’t want to split it in two.

A good reader will finish in 15 minutes.

Careless Talk

Settling down cross-legged in front of you I whisper your name, Josef. So long on the tip of my tongue – my mind wanders back to the start.

When war broke out I was nineteen. Father forbade my older brother, Alfie, to sign up. The farm needs him, he said. Alfie adhered to his wishes until April 1941, then joined the RAF saying he was sick and tired of the Germans bombing us. Immediately he was posted to Lincolnshire for training, far from our Hampshire home.

“Now Mary, with Alfie gone, you’ll have to help out a bit more in the fields. Be a land girl at home.” Father chuckled, pleased with his little joke.

“ But tomorrow I’ve been invited out! I’ll feed Meg and Jo – can’t the fieldwork wait until Monday?”

“Go on then, since you’re doing such a grand job with those lambs.”

The following day David Sinclair parked outside hooting his horn for attention.

“Mother, I’m off now, bye,” I shouted, running down the steps to a bleating chorus from the lambs. I jumped into David’s Humber and away we sped. Finding a secluded spot on the edge of the New Forest he produced a picnic basket and blanket from the boot. It was a glorious, sunny mid-April afternoon. We ate egg sandwiches and sipped hot coffee from the thermos. After lunch I lay back, the sun warming my face.

David laid next to me and his fingers crept under the hemline of my dress.

“Got some stockings and chocolate for you in the automobile. Next week I should be able to wangle some bananas for your parents.”

Stroking the skin just above my stocking tops as he spoke.

“Wonderful. They’ll be thrilled.” I murmured, opening my legs slightly.

“Oh Mary, your skin is so soft, let me play,” his breathing was audible now.

Arranging himself, he rolled on top and clumsily steered his hard dick past my French knickers and into me. Orchestrated by a long groan.

I kept still, staring at the passing clouds as he buried his face against my neck. It didn’t take long. A few thrusts, he peaked and fell onto me.

Then, standing he carefully disposed of the used rubber, slicked down his hair, adjusted his sleeveless pullover and put on his jacket.

I knew David from the village chess club. He was assistant manager at the town bank, a protected occupation like farmers. A man in his position could get all kinds of heavily rationed goodies. Light relief and a few treats were appreciated by everyone during the blitz when the bombing raids would have us scampering for the Anderson shelter and leave our nerves frazzled. Hampshire was so badly hit it looked like a train wreck. After an attack, the air smelled so sweet and smokey you could taste it.

David had pursued me before the war. I reminded him of Jessie Matthews, he said, with my rosebud mouth and pink cheeks. I hadn’t seen the attraction of letting him court me then. He looked well enough. Kept himself trim – expensive flannel suits, a nifty thin moustache. But he was old, maybe thirty-two. The war changed all our lives. I can’t deny I liked nice things, he could give them to me, and did. Perhaps I was a little flagrant in those days but all the young lads were off fighting and I wasn’t after love any more than David.

Sitting up I finished the food and rearranged my knickers.

***

“But you must understand Mother, I just want to do my bit for the country. You did and at Netley in the first war. Please talk to Father,” I put on my little girl voice. “I won’t even need to move away.”

Netley hospital being close to our farm.

“Don’t whine Mary. I’ll speak to him. Netley was an experience I… I can’t forget. Are you sure you’ll be able to cope my dear? You have a knack with those lambs but nursing will be a whole different kettle of fish. Horrible injuries, deaths, not to mention the – Netley smell – it lingers through the hospital. By no means easy.”

Fortunately, a local lad started helping out on the farm. Paving the way for me to become a nurse.

Netley covered two hundred acres, a vast community behind high walls. Work was harsh, messy and bloody, but at least I was finally doing my bit. After basic training, however, I was posted with the POWs and began to feel resentful, thinking of my brother.

Not only that, our boys were billeted in temporary shelters in the grounds while the Germans were cared for inside the building. As prisoners, they needed a secure environment. Locals were outraged and at one point the shipyard workers even went on strike in protest.

Witnessing the injuries was an eye-opener, and gradually my viewpoint changed. If my brother ever became a prisoner of war and needed medical attention, I prayed he would be treated so well as these men.

New recruits learned on the job. I’d only been working a few weeks when, at the end of a shift, I caught you alone playing chess. There was a serenity in your expression that drew me over and I couldn’t resist challenging you to a game. I’d been the grammar school champion and at Netley we were encouraged to help the prisoners feel at ease while recuperating. But I could never have foreseen, Josef, how meeting you that day would change my life forever.

Your English was excellent. We were both competitive and intent on winning. Distracted by our small talk I’d miss your nimble fingers manoeuvring a chess piece. I did notice your forearms were heavily scarred. Burned, I guessed.

I’d spent an extremely pleasant time being beaten by you and wanted revenge. It wasn’t long before I got the chance. I was assigned to your ward and we happily reacquainted. You had indeed suffered extreme burns. Luckily your face had not been marked, and your blue eyes still twinkled as you smiled.

I heard your story- how the Messerschmitt had crashed near Derby and you only just escaped the fireball of the wreckage with severe burn damage, mainly to the upper body. On admission, the doctors said it was touch and go whether you would live. Now on the road to recovery you were allowed to wear hospital undress – a blue suit with a red spot on the back. This gave the armed guards a target to aim at if a POW tried to escape.

I’d never met anyone like you. Intelligent, self-assured, with a quick wit to match your charm. At the end of a day we’d be deep in conversation, learning about each other’s lives. Do you recall, Josef, how you’d often tease me about the uniform I had to wear? The pinafore was not very flattering. At dusk, the whole hospital would be swaddled in blackout. The urgency we felt to engage was enhanced by the darkness and dim candlelight.

I’d watch the shape of your lips moving as you spoke English with a German accent. When being inquisitive you would often meaningfully stroke an eyebrow. You were extremely curious about where I lived and my daily routine. But I didn’t miss a trick where you were concerned either.

Sometimes we sat so close, on the sofa or playing chess, that I could feel the warmth of your breath and longed for us to kiss. You’d look at me as if no-one else existed. In my head, we were already naked. Yearning to soothe and caress your wounds I couldn’t help wondering if your dick had been marked by the flames. When we accidentally touched I would spy the outline in your trousers becoming more defined, alert. My skin would tingle with excitement and my sex would clench, wishing to trap yours.

At night I would visualise your long fingers tracing the outline of my body from the nape of my neck, around the curve of my ample breast. Passing over my taut waist before sliding across my hip to tug at the curls covering the swell of my mound and following the damp slit into my centre. With this image in my head, I used my own hand to bring myself the pleasure I longed to take from yours.

***

David called by. I explained things were different now and I enjoyed painting lines on the back of my legs with an eyebrow pencil and had given up chocolate. He left. The very next morning I was heading to the village bus stop when suddenly I was grabbed and roughly pulled behind a hedge. Fear and adrenalin helped me to wrestle myself free before realising it was you.

Wide-eyed, sweat glistening on your forehead, you stuttered through the drama of your escape, hidden in the back of a hospital delivery truck. Shaking, you explained that our talks, my words, had provided all the details you needed to find the farm. My mouth became dry. I was shocked, speechless, but I had to trust you, as you had trusted me.

Just on the outskirts of our land was a barn. Deserted and derelict. Father had truly meant to knock it down. It would do for now.

That evening I brought supplies including some of my brother’s old clothes, a camping stove and tea. It was comfortable. Then we kissed. Oh… how we kissed. I crept back to the house, terrified of raising suspicion, promising to return at dawn.

The sun rose, bright and warm, do you remember? I arrived early and once more you teased me,

“Tea, what is this tea you English girls like to drink so much? A Ger – Man, needs coffee, and make it strong.”

“Huh, so demanding, a fine way to behave when this English girl loves you.”

The words just slipped out. I don’t think I’d even considered it before. But the moment I made the declaration I knew it was true. You held me tight. My heart began to gallop. Mouths met, searching, and together we fell onto the makeshift bed of straw, covered with an eiderdown, as you undressed me. First my blouse. Then removing my bra you looked down and sighed. Finding a nipple, biting gently, sucking. I wanted to see you. Your scars, imperfections – your truth. I reached for a button, but you stopped me.

“Please.” I murdered, longing for the intimacy.

Looking straight at me you removed the shirt. I gazed at the white and charred lesions covering your torso and started to kiss them all better. Then gently touching and stroking the tender skin. To me your flaws were beautiful. I was so enchanted I didn’t realise you were crying, silently. Tears streaming, creating pools by your mouth. I licked the salty water. Tasting your hurt and taking it away. No more pain.

We hurriedly removed our remaining clothes and I mounted your hardness right where you sat. Slowly, lowering myself as you pierced into the heart and soul of me. Knees either side, able to manoeuvre for our pleasure and see your face all the while. Now I had tears. They were of happiness. Never had I been so full of joy. Our coupling was right, meant to be. We fitted together, our bodies each an instrument for the other. Whispering to me in German, forgetting yourself in those moments, you cupped my breasts with your beautiful hands. When it was time we reached ecstasy together, clinging, two bodies merged into one.

We lay, caressing and talked about the future for as long as we could. I wanted us to be together. But caring for you deeply I ignored my selfish desires knowing you needed to be free. After the war things would be different.

I had lived by the coast all my life and knew people who worked there. I planned to find someone, anyone, who could get you across the channel. As I left for work, hope danced in your eyes.

At Netley all the talk was about your disappearance. I kept my head down until the shift was over then dashed to the port. I found an old boyfriend who worked the tugboats. He agreed to hide you in a ship’s hull until arrangements could be made. We were to meet him at eleven p.m.

***

It was a moonless, still evening, providing “additional cover,” you said, as we started across the fields. We should have been more observant. Two guards from Netley. We didn’t notice them, but they saw us. One shone a torch onto your face. Panicked, you ran.

“Stop, or we shoot!” He yelled.

I heard the shots. Two in quick succession and saw you fall. Finding my legs I ran to your side. But you were already gone. Smothering your body with mine, weeping, hysterical, I wouldn’t let the guards touch you.

Eventually, I was dragged away, sobbing.

***

It turned out Netley staff had noticed our friendship. The guards had been sent to see if I could offer any clues regarding your whereabouts. I was questioned, released, and don’t remember much afterwards. I could see only darkness and slept around the clock. Father lectured me about careless talk, explaining I could have been put in jail. He didn’t understand – you were my love, we had been cheated. Mother stood by me. Sent me to stay with Aunt Stella in Devon.

And that’s where I gave birth to Evelyn – she has your eyes.

Adoption was suggested but I would never have let Evelyn go; my reason to live. I helped out on the farm. Father was happy, and Evelyn won everybody’s heart.

My brother came home in the Autumn of 1945, just a short while before yours found me. Franz thanked me for trying to help you. He’d tracked me down from the records held at Netley. The first thing he said when he laid eyes on Evelyn was,

“Josef.”

She’s growing up fast and looking so like you. As does Franz. It wasn’t difficult to learn to love him.

***

Now, I’m sat here by your small headstone, the best I could afford, looking back on all that happened. My careless talk, your life. I’ll never know if you loved me, but Franz does and wants us to be married so he can take care of Evelyn. It’s the right thing to do. I miss you every day, Josef, but with hope in my heart it’s time to move on.

I ask for your blessing.



This tale – Careless Talk – was inspired by the final prompt of Marie Rebelle’s Smut Marathon in 2018. However, a shorter version was entered into the competition. The story above is the original longer version. (Also updated recently for my blog). It needed to be cut, at the last minute, for the SM. Read more about why here.

Click the badges below to find more Lest We Forget posts.

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20 thoughts on “Careless Talk ~ Lest We Forget

  1. Oh, May, this is absolutely beautiful. The research you put into it really comes across, and I that combined with the exquisite writing makes it so real that I found myself completely drawn in. ❤️👏👏👏

  2. So good to read this fuller version May. It is a heartbreaking love story, beautifully told. As always, you create a totally believable world populated with real people. Bravo.xx

  3. I’m so glad you took as much time and space as you needed to tell this story. I grew up all too aware that my grandparents were of the generation that was on the wrong side of history. Their refusal to speak about what happened to them during WWII leaves me wondering about the horrors of the time. Your historical accuracy, combined with the beauty of the story, says so much about you. I always worry about reading WWII stories, it’s a no-go zone in role-play for me. So much can go wrong, yet you managed to create such beauty with your words and love. Thank you. xoxo

  4. Wow, I hope I can grow up to write like this! Thank you May. You are a great example. Please don’t stop. (Don’t you find that writing is like breathing? A needful thing?)

  5. Smashing May – it definitely resonates and balances better with more words, although the SM version was great.
    What a tribute to love & remembering xx

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