Beginners BDSM Guide: 5 Vital Topics ~ Guest Post

Beginners BDSM Guide: 5 Vital Topics ~ Guest Post

I came to BDSM later on in my life. In a way it liberated me.

Not only that bondage made me realise how important communication and respect are within a relationship. These two aspects are key to being able to enjoy mutely satisfying, safe, kinky play.

This beginners BDSM guide guest post looks at topics that partners may need to discuss when becoming involved in beginner bondage scenes.

How to BDSM Beginners Guide

Let’s Talk Consensual BDSM

There’s no shame in wanting to explore BDSM. Even though this may not have even crossed your mind when you first became sexually active. However,  as time goes on many people choose to include some form of BDSM as a way of exploring their sexuality and preferences.

BDSM Guide ~ If you want to do the same with your partner, here are five essential topics to discuss:

What are your boundaries?

Dominance, submission bondage, etc.  BDSM is about consensual power exchange. To what extent are the both of you allowing the dominant-submissive scene to play out?  Both should explore and respect limits, and talk about a safe word to stop the scene if needed. Communicating about each other’s boundaries and turn-ons is part of the BDSM fun. It’s a form of anticipation, a type of foreplay.

Do you want to dirty talk?

Not everyone is comfortable with dirty talk, and some prefer more action than words. What are you and your partner okay with in terms of dirty talk? Whether you’re dominant or submissive, both parties can engage in dirty talk as it allows you to express your desires. That said, if you prefer more action, then verbal cues can be used to visualise these fantasies.

What other accessories do you want to use?

From whips, chains, and gags –  https://www.cirillas.com/bondage/ball-gags/beginners-open-mouth-gag/ – for a hardcore BDSM, to more vanilla experiences such massage candles for hot wax and/or  mood lighting. Decide what accessories you both want to use to provoke arousal in sex play. It is very important that both parties agree on the accessories when it comes to role-playing and anything that involves power dynamics.

Are you okay with being blindfolded?

Different people have different sensory arousal and deprivation levels. Some are turned on and tantalised with blindfolds, while others become scared and anxious. It depends on the individual. The topic is worth discussing  in case your partner is panicked in such a situation, causing more worry than pleasure. But If you do wish to include a blindfold in your play, start with a comfy silky one.

What are your edging limits?

Edging is a term used to describe orgasm control. This involves bringing a person to the point of orgasm, but then stopping the simulation abruptly. The process is repeated as desired. Delayed gratification in BDSM makes the end reward much sweeter. Simply relax and enjoy the process.

Exploring BDSM can be an exciting way to enhance your sex life. However,  it is vital to discuss all aspects with your partner. Ensuring that both parties are on the same page in regards to such things as boundaries, and safe words.

Ultimately, respecting each other’s arousal points and limits is what makes BDSM fun.

4 thoughts on “Beginners BDSM Guide: 5 Vital Topics ~ Guest Post

    1. It always makes my day when I see you have commented and I have no idea what that video is all about my I loved the fun of it
      TY Pete
      Stay safe my friend

      1. The link was my free association run amok bringing me to a song by The Subdudes after reading the most excellent piece on BDSM. Cheers MM and stay well.

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