face slapping kink

Face Slapping Kink ~ a controversial issue?

Face slapping appears to be a controversial subject even within the kink world. Would you consider it within your relationship? Ideally the topic should be discussed before it happens and the slapper must also be experienced in how to slap without causing injury.

This is an updated post first published in August 2018. I have taken out some of the original comments as many of the bloggers who replied to the post don’t interact with my blog anymore. Re-reading them I was really quite surprised at how many very kinky people felt that slapping a partners cheek, whilst having sex, was not an appropriate kink. Even those known to enjoy humiliation saw it as a step too far. And probably a decade or so ago I would have felt the same. If I had been asked what I would do if anyone slapped me around the face I would probably have said without hesitation,

“Slap them back and tell them that it is unacceptable behaviour.”

And when it happened I nearly did.

Looking back

My man and I had talked about what kind of kink we were into when we first met and were just friends – over twenty years ago – and also when we reconnected and I was debating whether or not to become his lover.

The list never included face slapping.

When it happened for the first time I was visiting him to see if my feelings were as strong as I remembered. He had been very patient and waited for me while my family were young. An extremely long duration, when we saw each other infrequently, perhaps a few times a year, and rarely had sexual contact. With a few failed relationships behind me, I needed to be sure I was doing the right thing.

We had prearranged the day and he kept his distance. A bit like social distancing today 😉 Sitting opposite, instead of next to me, and discussing why our partnership would be good. Now I understand this was merely tactics. If he had sat next to me immediately I may have felt pressurised. He was doing all the right things and I agreed to come back the next day.

Fuck he slapped me

Here is what happened – written in the present tense so you can get a feel of what it was like.

I know today I really need to make a decision.

After leaving yesterday I wanted him so badly. He didn’t lay a finger on me. Told me when we get together we should make a vow to each other to be be honest and respectful. I liked that. Now I need to feel his hands on me to see if my heart still misses that beat.

Lunch is ready and he looks up and smiles as I walk in. Once again he discusses the future saying all the correct things. After we have eaten I pluck up the courage and ask,

“Why don’t you sit next to me today?”

He comes over to where I am lounging on the sofa and we chat. Moving closer he puts his hand behind my head and we kiss.

The butterflies in my stomach are fluttering up to my chest and my cunt feels needy.

“Lets go to the bedroom so we  won’t be overlooked.” Taking my hand.

I am so nervous.

We make short work of removing our jeans and t-shirts and giggling jump on to the bed.

Within a few minutes he pins me down on my front and delivers a few delicious smacks to my arse. I moan and lift it off the mattress so he can get an even better aim.

“Ah, you are still my dirty bitch,” he murmurs whilst inserting a finger into my sopping cunt.

Before I have had time to enjoy the sensation he turns me over and his head is between my legs. With such great oral sex skills it only takes a short while until I climax and he lays beside me holding my body.

We begin to kiss and I reach for his cock. It is hard and smooth as I begin to shaft it just a little bit. Grabbing the back of my head with one hand he holds it slightly back on the pillow. With the other he delivers two short sharp slaps to my face.

I stiffen immediately. What just happened. Fuck. I think fast. I can get out of bed now. Shout out this is just not on and leave. Or I can continue playing, see out the remainder of the day and go home and think about it.

I chose the latter. Within minutes I am horny again as I massage his dick. He spurts over my tummy.

We get up and dress. Outside in the garden neither of us mention what just happened. Soon after I leave.

At home I think long and hard about it and start to feel hot. Alone in the house I lay down and slip my hand down the front on my jeans. Within record time I am experiencing an intense orgasm.


So really it was in retrospect that I realised I found the face slapping sexy. I saw him a couple of days later and we talked about it. I asked him why he had done it as it was quite a risky action when we were not officially together. What if I had hit him back and ran. He explained that it had not been a common occurrence for him in a relationship but when he was very young he had been involved with an older woman. She taught him to do that to her, but he was not using the experience to vindicate his action. That relationship finished and he never went on to slap anyone else in that way, until me.

He continued by assuring me it was not planned, it felt like the right thing to do at the time and that asking for permission may have ruined the moment – because there are times when language is inadequate and actions communicate better than words. He contemplated that if I was the woman he thought I was – his  – then it would work out.  A calculated risk.

Miss Scarlet explains how she didn’t feel entirely comfortable with her husbands kinks but at that time still participated. This was not the case for me. Never wanting to simply be the passenger, I insisted we made some ground rules: Face slapping was not to happen if I was blindfolded; never very hard and not more than a couple of slaps at one time.

He normally does it when I am on my knees sucking his cock. He takes a handful of my hair and aims a few taps or slaps to my cheek.

Enjoy being slapped on your cheek during sex?

I am not totally sure why I enjoy it.

  • I don’t find it intimidating – come on this man dressed up in my knickers and hold-ups for me – intimate not intimidating.
  • The dominance and humiliation figure, it is more than that though.
  • The adrenalin rush is addictive.
  • But I don’t need any excuses to say I like it. It simply turns me on.
  • And it is not something we incorporate into our play often, so there is also a novelty value.
  • I know he is not demeaning me.

Recently we have discussed the whys and wherefores further after I realised that in certain instances, such as an ordinary non date night fuck, it was not working for me. But it is something I still enjoy and fantasise about when in the right circumstance.

Please leave any comments you want. I do appreciate not everyone will agree and I am very much for free speech and differing opinion.

Thanks for reading!

Inadequacy of language

35 thoughts on “Face Slapping Kink ~ a controversial issue?”

  1. Great post. Isn’t it amazing how we can sometimes surprise ourselves? For me, face slapping has always been a hard limit, but recently a Dom did it to me, totally out of the blue during sex. My reaction was similar to yours; I wanted to slap him back, run away, stop the sex but also wondered what would happen if I carried on. I carried on and it turns out I have a fetish I didn’t know I had.
    Thanks for sharing this post!

  2. I know this is a kink for a lot of people and I totally respect that. But two things I have a hard time dealing with and it’s face slapping and biting. You can slap my ass and slap my tits, but if you slap my face (or bite me) you better make sure I’m restrained cuz I’m coming up swinging. I don’t know… maybe in the right circumstances I’d like it but it’s nothing I would choose to do.

  3. face slapping is one of those hit or miss parts of the kink world. For me personally it depends on the partner. It is never out of spite or meanness, it just is a flow of the scene when it applies. Of course good communication helps especially with fringe things like face slapping

    1. I can very much image it depends on the person and situation. It is quite rare for us to do it – but when he does, the shock kinda creates a thrill inside me 😉

  4. We do it too, now and then. Being slapped in the face is not my favourite, but within our D/s it works, so why not?

    Great text, May ☺️

    1. If it works then that is good – as u say it is not your fave thing – me neither – but there is something taboo about it that I like – now and then thou lol

  5. I have had my face slapped a few times. It always was a surprise. I don’t really like it, but understand the need to do it for some. I think if my Queen wanted to do it I would be ok with it. So maybe someday I’ll be writing a post like this.

  6. From the dominant perspective, I find slapping my slave’s face to be a significant turn-on. Part of that may be that I do truly love taboo’s – and (for instance) face slapping is far more taboo than ass slapping. When I slap a slave’s face, I look for two reactions. I like to slap just enough to cause their cheek to blush. Watching carefully, if I see the other cheek blushes too, then I know I’m getting a real reaction I’ll want to explore. I’ve found that the actual blushing is because they have conflicted feelings about the slap. Commonly it’s a turn on, but that causes an internal struggle, because they are not supposed to be turned on by face slapping. I’ve only used face slapping as a form of discipline once, then decided it wasn’t a line to be crossed under those circumstances. So I reserve face slapping for play, and I remain quite comfortable using a face slap as an exercise of dominance, a way to play a little bit in exploring their mind, while they explore submission and how that particular sensation feels, not so much physically, but emotionally. I like to leave my fingerprints on their body, and a few footsteps in their mind…

    1. Michael is that you? I used to follow your blog 2017/2018 and then you disappeared? I do hope you are back – are your writing?
      May x

      1. It’s me! No one else I know would write quite like that – lol. Yes, I left the sex blogging world something like two years ago, and it was sudden, without explanation. For that I apologize, it wasn’t my intention to leave anyone hanging, but that’s how it happened, despite my best intentions. But, to tell the truth, I missed you, your writing and photography drew me back. Kinda like a moth to a flame I guess 😉 ..

        1. So glad yo see you. Indie and I debated what could have happened. She has another account now- i will tell u are ok. Do u have a blog?

  7. Face slapping is not something we have done but not for. Say reason other than it hasn’t come up. It’s not a limit but I don’t think I would know until I tried it whether or not it was hot. I liked reading about your experience though and it is clear that there has been a deep connection and trust there from the start ?

  8. I love impact play but the only time I’ve had my face slapped was by a first-time-meet and we hadn’t discussed it. I was furious, and it’s been on my no list ever since.

    I wonder if it may be time to revisit…? I may ask the man himself

    1. We had a very strong connection when it happened to me. We had talked at length and I consented to him full stop. But it shocked me for sure x

  9. May this entire post made me smile or feel the anticipation too. The face slap came so suddenly! I love how you went away to think about it and realised you found it rather hot. I’m surprised to read face slapping is a bit of a ‘taboo’ even amongst kinky people! I always felt attracted to it but I assume that doesn’t surprise you haha

  10. I personally think it’s a bit too much, face slapping is the most dangerous part of our body to be messed with. thanks for sharing

    1. TY for reading – I understand what u are saying but as i state at the very start of the post “Ideally the topic should be discussed before it happens and the slapper must also be experienced in how to slap without causing injury.”

  11. I very much enjoy face slapping too. But only with Mister K. I had someone else try it many years before I accepted my kinky side and I did indeed hit him back.
    But with Mister K I know that it’s not out of disrespect or anger, he does it because its humiliating and the humiliation turns me on.
    And your man was right, sometimes asking permission ruins the mood 🙂

  12. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get here. I’m only now sitting down at a proper desk with a proper laptop. Glad to have found you and will add you to my roll:)

  13. For all the “talk about it first” and “negotiate your limits” advice out there around BDSM activities, that’s not always how it works in real life. I appreciate that you were willing to write your non-negotiated slapping experience and examine your response to it. (And you are both very very lucky that it was something you managed to communicate about later, rather than having it be a deal breaker.)

    1. Totally agree – was very risky on his part and the odd thing was we had talked about so many other aspects of BDSM – but just not that one 😉 x

  14. Kinks can’t be explained IMO. We like what we like. Finding someone else to share our kink can be the hard part. You two have done well to find each other.
    PS – hot story BTW, it had me going (and jealous)! 🙂

  15. My sub and I had never done this, but we had heard and read about it. We wanted to make
    sure it was not about humiliation but instead only done in the right moment, such as just before orgasm or included in one of the many edgings I give her. Last night I slapped her breast as she orgasmed. She was startled! Afterwards we discussed and she enjoyed it immensely. She said she was so far into the orgasm that it sent chills down her spine. Keep it open as an option at least…but discuss openly

    1. TBH I didn’t really know it existed as a kink until it happened to me – thanks for commenting – love my breast and pussy being slapped 😉

  16. I like to read how you have thought about this and decided that you actually liked it. I have been slapped in my face before in a abusing manner, which taught me to never allow someone to slap my face. Until it was once done – not too hard – in a sexual manner and I realized that I can handle that, that it’s actually quite sexy.

    Rebel xox

  17. I wonder May, what kind of feeling hits you (except for turning you on) when your face is slapped?

    A rush of rage? Doed it slow you down? shifts your focus?

    I don’t know if I can get over my own hesitation to slap a woman’s face, but maybe, if I understand it better …

    1. No rage at all – as I mentioned I get an adrenalin rush and it does actually help me focus – spanking does that to me too. If you would hesitate then do not attempt it – I knew guys who hesitated when they spanked me and it just did not work for me then 😉

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