Content Warning : Dark Fiction – Tread carefully
June 15th 1990.
Tess, my love
If you are reading this, I have either been imprisoned or am dead. Either way, I love you more than you could ever realise. Which is why I have to tell you — I killed your sister.
But, I did it for us.
I know you grieved for a long time, and perhaps still do. We were young and I was foolish. Please understand, whenever I see your tears my conscience has been my own judge and jury.
She tricked me into having sex with her. You know how she was? Always walking around in slinky dresses, showing too much flesh and wiggling her peachy behind. Flirting with that dirty rosebud mouth of hers.
I’d had enough. I loved you. Still do. Why did she tease me so much?
The day it happened, I called round unexpectedly. She told me to come in and wait, assuring me you’d be back from college soon. We sat down on the sofa with a couple of beers, and she moved closer… and closer… until her right breast was nuzzling into my arm. I could feel myself getting hard.
If only you’d come home sooner to save me from the torment.
When she casually placed her hand on my thigh, her fingertips grazed the head of my dick. Too much to bear.
Pinning her to the sofa, I forced her legs apart, unzipped and snuck inside, past her skimpy lingerie. She began to beat at my chest and face. Shouting “No”. But she wanted it alright — wet as could be.
The next bit happened quickly. Your ‘oh so innocent’ sister threatened to tell you and the police. Saying I raped her. She’d teased me constantly for a year, and I was to be punished for her behaviour.
I was livid. You and I were meant to be. Without thinking, my hands clasped her throat.
I never meant to kill her.
I left via the back alley. Nobody had seen me arrive.
That was 3 years ago. I’m writing this after our honeymoon. Knowing you will always be the love of my life and should anything happen to me, deserve to be told the truth. Thankfully, the police never suspected me. You and I were engaged. To them, I was simply your boyfriend and a rather shy 19-year-old.
Please forgive me. I hope by the time you read this, we have had a long and happy life together.
Your ever loving husband, Steven.
Tessa looked up from the letter, eyes wide with shock. This weekend was her wedding anniversary. Twenty very happy, normal years with Steve, the man she had always loved and thought she knew. But what could tomorrow offer her now?
She’d found the letter by accident, in a file of her husband’s personal bits from the past. She had been looking for some old photos to make a surprise album for a gift.
Tessa felt unstuck… Anger mixed with anguish created a light headedness she’d never experienced before. Nothing seemed normal to her now.
Bile rose up in her mouth and she gulped it back down, wishing it was yesterday. But you can’t turn back the clock, just as you can’t unlearn what you know.
Tessa dropped the letter on the floor as a myriad of memories flooded her mind. All lies. Then, slowly, she rose from her chair, went into the bathroom and swallowed as many sleeping tablets as she could lay her hands on.
The one thing she could make sure of was that tomorrow, would not be another day.
This story first appeared on Medium in a Transgressive Fiction Magazine.
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