I am a bit of a loner but have always had lots of friends.
One of the reasons for this is because some chose me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. An example of this was Jackie. We became friends when we were about 9 years old and met while walking to our different primary schools. I would find her literally waiting for me at the end of my road. At first I tried to ignore her, or not say much in reply to all her banter. But then I just got used to her being there. Next thing I knew she was knocking on my door asking if I could come out to play. That’s what we did in those days 😉
She was kind of fun in a hyper-active way, so we became best friends for quite a few years. By the time we went our separate ways – six years after we had met – we had been through quite a bit of growing up together. Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees. So I won’t ever forget her even though I didn’t initially want to be friends.
In retrospect I think I have only ever really chosen one friend and that was way back in primary school.
I loved Clare. From the moment I set eyes on her I had to have her. I was 6 or 7 years old! She already had a best friend at that time so I started playing with them both. Each night – and when I went to church on Sunday – I would pray that Clare’s best friend would leave. And she did. Jesus came through for me 😉 Clare’s friend moved to Scotland. We lived in Kent, so that was far enough away. I was elated. Then…
We became inseparable and quite isolated. She was shy and because my home life was not what a child should tolerate, I threw everything into my relationship with her. She reciprocated. Read More…
Reading through the other posts about friendship SnakeCharmer said that some of the best friends are those that happen by surprise. That was certainly the case with Vic. When I first met him I thought he was the weirdest person ever. My girl friends and I would laugh at him. But then Vic and I landed the same Saturday job when we were fourteen and I got to know the real him, not the person I had been assuming he was.
Immediately we became best friends. Hung out over the park together. Played tennis. And he was weird, but that was OK. I have always been a bit quirky so our friendship worked. He played the piano and got himself into a band. The girls thought he was cool then.
When we were older we became lovers. I write about it now and then. We had a good relationship but perhaps we should have just remained friends. Because when we split up that is precisely what we did. Once we both had children – and had separated from the significant other – we took the kids on holidays together. Our children became friends too. In fact Vic will be visiting Mona, with his son, in NY this spring.
Surprise friends can indeed be some of the best we will have. Vic will always be my friend because he accepts the changing person in me. But I think generally it is healthy for friends to come and go as we change our life situation or ideals. It is all part of evolving. A normal aspect of life…