Guys who heal and guys who kill

Let’s go back to the late 70’s…

I was a kid. But even at that tender age I knew some guys could heal, whereas others could kill your spirit.

And the wondrous thing about the human soul is that even having experienced a bad’un I still had the capacity to open my heart to a good’un. And so did my Mum.

His name was Iain.

Dad had gone and it was obvious Mum missed him. He would always remain the love of her life but sometimes interludes help us forget and along the way give joy.

Tales from the past.

This is what I remember. And for once names and places have not been changed because the innocent in this tale need no protection 😉

One Saturday Mum and I took a train to Lewisham and looked around the shops. It was getting late and my short legs needed a break so we popped into a cafe and ordered drinks and doughnuts. My Mum was great.

A few tables away there was a guy who kept glancing over. Looking back he resembled a young John Martyn.

I didn’t realise until I was older that my Mum was very glamorous and always dressed as if she was going out to dinner. That was her style. I think about her sometimes when I have been in jeans and muddied wellies for a whole week. But we all live different lives.

The attentive guy joined us at our table. I warmed to him immediately. He seemed to engage with each of us. I wasn’t left out.

I am not sure if he came home with us. Or maybe visited the following week. But I remember very well that he was soon a regular fixture, often arriving on a Friday and staying the whole weekend. Iain sold stationary and I think this involved travelling during the week.

While Mum was cooking dinner I would snuggle under his arm and watch Star Trek or we’d read together. Not only that, he bought cool paper and pens home as gifts. Iain was open and seemed to understand how to spread happiness. Never pretending. Always keeping things real.

Time and space

Another thing young people don’t understand is time. So I’m not sure how long Iain was with us. Years later I chatted with Mum about him and we gauged it was probably about six months. But during the duration he shared our lives he truly helped mend me and Mum from all that had been my dad.  An antidote

Iain was kind, generous, funny. And Iain was young!

Mum was forty. He was twenty two.

No wonder I got on so well with him. He was only a few years past his teens.

I never found out his age until I was an adult myself. At first I was shocked – Mum had a toy boy. But this toy boy was more man than most I have ever met. Indeed he was a gentle-man.

So what happened to him.

I wish I knew.

He landed some kind of promotion and had to move to Canada. We received a few cards and gifts but then we all got on with separate lives.

Took me a while though. I never, ever accepted another boyfriend of Mums and when I eventually acquired a step father I wished that job had gone to Iain.

Where ever he is now I wish him well.

Header image from Pixabay

#23 Guys who Heal – Father figure
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16 thoughts on “Guys who heal and guys who kill”

  1. Awww.
    Some people come into our lives for only a little while, the universe sends them with a specific task and once the task is complete they move on, leaving behind a wonderful memory or life lesson.
    A very warm story.

  2. Loved this peek into your past. I imagine most people don’t realize what kind of impression they might leave on us, and he clearly left a good one. Also, good for your mom having a boy toy! That’s awesome!

    1. Yes I think sometimes a person just by being themselves touches another soul. That’s what this guy did. And I am grateful, as he came along at the right time x

  3. He certainly left a big impression on you! Time is an interesting thing, but he sounds like he was a good guy and I’m sure he remembers you as fondly.

    1. Thanks Cara – I do wonder if he remembers us – so many years later. I loved writing this post as I have written about the “bad guys” more than once so this evens the scales a bit x

    1. That totally sums it up! I couldn’t have said it better than Julie. I love these memories of your Mum – all glamorous and your lives blossoming in the presence of Iaian

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