CONTENT WARNING – Although in places quite amusing, Hell in a Hand Basket contains references to Covid. So do not read if you are sensitive to this topic in any way.
Plus – religious transgression…
Hell in a Hand Basket – Creative Sci-Fi
You know, I thought I may get bypassed. My type only engage for 33 years. Predecessors lived, passed and went to heaven to die-out their time in peace. But to address a major world-threatening problem comes with an extra incentive. For example, if you have to give your life tragically, painstakingly, in the name of a cause, then once it’s all over you are allowed to die, for as long as you want, in hell. Indulging your every whim, want and need in as many depraved ways as you can conceive. Let’s just say that thought crossed my mind in the winter months of 2020 when life on earth reinvented itself as a movie tagged with the genre: sci-fi.
I carried on as normal trying to ignore my saintly existence. Which was pretty hard as any chick who could detect an aura saw my shinning halo. But by March of 2020, when I was only 29, warning bells were chiming in my ears. I could not ignore that people in general needed…well, me – Jesus.
Yes, yes – I know. Didn’t he come once before? You’re not wrong. But pay attention. The Jesus model has 33 years to live – then either his life is taken for a better cause than the one he was living for, or he just dies…
The well-documented Jesus you have read about died in the name of the pauper. While the elite Romans single-mindedly ate, drank and fucked their way through decades. But what you don’t know is that – him up there, (*raises eyes high) – sends another down so that life on earth is never without some kind of Saviour on call.
You got it now? Great. Stay with it. The story hots up a bit in a jiffy.
Back to what I was saying about March 2020.
I had just finished in the fields – herding my sheep from one piece of grassland to another – when I saw Jez waving madly from over the other side of the hedge. Leisurely I made my way towards her. Why so slow? Well she was a sight to see. Each time she caught my eye Jez would jump up and down with excitement. Her overly full breasts would oscillate up and around. A swinging motion. Quite hypnotic. She looked a little chilly in a light shirt, nipples poking at the crisp material.
When I finally let myself out of the gate she flung her arms round my neck.
“I will miss you so much,” she cried. Literally as tears streamed down her face.
“Now Jezebel. What on earth is the matter.” I asked placing a hand on each arse cheek to keep her stable. Her stilettos had started to dig into the soft grass on the verge where we were standing. I couldn’t have her falling over. She would ruin her stockings.
She explained that the the hotel company she worked for had furloughed her job. The country was locking down for the first time and she would have to go home to her parents in London. A far cry from my farm in Northumberland.
I am not one to take advantage of a situation but I felt Jez needed comfort so I kissed her tears away and taking her hand suggested we say a proper goodbye back at the cottage.
There was an open fire raging in the hearth pushing out some heat so I sat her on the floor in front of the blaze removing her blouse and bra in an attempt to warm her nipples. Suckling each in turn until Jez ohhhed and ahhed with delight. She didn’t need much encouragement to lay back on the the sheepskin rug while I inched up her skirt, stocking tops making my hardness spasm in my jeans. It took just a moment to remove her panties – slit glistening in the firelight – and out my cock, which bucked at the sight of her cunt. There was nothing else I could do but thrust into the warm folds while my primal urge to procreate took hold and I fucked her to hell and back.
We lay in the glow of the fire after our love making – hang on – rewind… After I’ shagged her with meaning, naturally she was exhausted, so we chilled out in front of the fire until the wood burned down and she had to leave. Didn’t know then when I would see her again – if ever. But she promised to text everyday and slipped her panties in my pocket as she left, muttering something about long lonely evenings by myself…
When I went to bed that night I knew everything was about to change. The urge to say ten Our Fathers and five Glory Bees had never been so strong. So I gave into it and was almost finished praying when HIS voiced echoed in my room, “Now is your time. Go and do my will.”
That was it. Can’t say I slept much that night knowing Jesus the Sequel was about to begin.
Well I don’t need to go into too many details. As you all know due to the virus lockdown began for most at the beginning of 2020. Everyone wanted to do what was right. What was best to protect people who were vulnerable. The elderly. Those whose immunity’s were already compromised by another illness. But as that year turned into 2021 it did seem that physical health was being prioritized above mental well-being. But what do I know? I’m not a medical professor or scientist. I’m just a Shepherd who likes to look after my flock.
Propaganda regarding Coronavirus was rife. Unless you were a hermit it soon became clear that Covid was heralded as the second plague. To be honest I was waiting for the government to pass a hasty law marking each dwelling that housed a victim with a red cross. And I was right. By 2022 – X – marked the spot on a door or a gate, so to speak. The vaccination had promised that life would return to normal. Although by that time most seemed to have forgotten what normal freedom tasted like. More strains of the virus were discovered and an announcement made that a yearly jab was mandatory. However, even that didn’t set Citizen Smith free. By the winter of early 2023 everyone with a brain understood lockdown was a regular seasonal fixture. And that’s when the real trouble started.
For those who didn’t live with a sexual partner sex became resigned to a wank while watching porn or someone you vaguely knew on Zoom. Humans are made to be resilient. They can cope with anything for long periods of time. Look back to the wars and before. But take away the human touch and they will go mad! Suicides had trebled, but were always tucked away in the middle of the newspaper and reported as accidents. Being Jesus I could tell if they were an accident or a deliberate and successful attempt to end a life that was deemed not worthy of living.
I realised there wasn’t much time left for me to act. The human race had been driven to degrading behaviour that, in my opinion, rivalled the antics of elite Romans back in the day. Craving physical connection, pleasure, call it what you will – brothers had started fucking sisters. Sisters had started fucking sisters. The birth rate dropped dramatically and the concept of the extended family had disappeared completely. Friendships hit the wayside. And talking of streets the animals took them over. Foxes, wild dogs and cats. The crows moved in packs and most people began to run if they came across a group of these birds feeding. They had been known to swoop down at your head and literally steal your hat. I’d witnessed their behaviour while herding my sheep.
There was a certain amount of looting going on and also strange stabbings. People felt no empathy for their fellow man. They had been shorn of this emotion by the years of restrictions placed on their every move. Instead they felt their lives were a living hell. The initial thought of we are in this together was replaced by, what about me and my life? And that’s where I come in…
It was clear to me that without something to believe in the human race would simply wipe itself out. Self-respect had been removed. Jobs taken. Families separated. Friends lost. The incentive to behave well had been extinguished by having nothing and nobody to live for.
I expect some of you wondered why god had shunned his people by allowing such a dreadful global catastrophe to happen in the first place. Not being him I can’t tell you the reason but he did mutter in my ear that in his view, before the lockdowns the world was going to hell in a hand-basket! People cared more about their phones than each other and narcissism was rife. They needed to learn to treat each other and the world with respect. Stripping their lives down to the basics was supposed to do that. But when prohibition was enforced and a few people from a village in Wales set fire to what had been the local pub because the landlord wouldn’t give them a beer, I began to wonder if the Big Gee’s plan had backfired.
But what to do? My own life was not a bed of roses. I hadn’t had a decent fuck since Jez. Don’t get me wrong, being saintly, I can go for years without needing anybody. And I did have her used knickers to sniff while I tugged at my dick. But suddenly getting down to London to see her seemed like a good idea.
Jez had kept in contact via text and email. She was living in Islington with a a flatmate, so leaving my sheep in the capable hands of farmer Rothschild I travelled down to the city by night. Less chance to be seen, detained and jailed. When Jez opened the door I kind of got de-ja-vu as she jumped up and down in excitement, her bosom jiggling below the confines of her nightshirt. Then she threw her arms round my neck.
Within moments we were both laying in front of her artificial coal fire, on a synthetic rug, naked. As if that wasn’t a result it certainly seemed like Sunday to me when a gorgeous chick with caramel skin – the flatmate I assumed – stood above us and declared we were not allowed to have fun without her. She swiftly removed her pyjamas and sat on my face. At the same time Jez did the business with my cock. Slurping and sucking as if it was an ice cream cone. And I made sure she was not disappointed on the cream front, by shooting mine down her throat whilst my tongue explored the most delicious cunt I’d ever tasted.
To be Continued… Part Two Here…
Image for header – Pixabay