Home ~ Indicate the way to my abode

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This is a difficult topic for me. I can’t seem to get to grips with home.

Me, myself, I

When I was a teenager I spent a lot of time trying to come to terms with being me. That endeavour has been an ongoing project but originally as I hugged my teddy and worked at raising my self esteem the personal reinforcement worked to some extent. My life has trundled on and I have added to that. But what I am trying to say is I began to feel OK about the complex issue of being me and built up a bit of a wall around myself. Inside that wall I became my own home.

Good and bad.

It is difficult to penetrate my fortress but some have over the years. Vic and my man being two. When this happens that person becomes part of my home. It is like I add a door in my wall that connects to their home – (Just a door, to open or close) – and hearts are given the space to entwine and make a secure environment.

Family

My heart is with my daughters so whenever we are together I feel a kind of peace and even if we are not at a place called home I can tell the three of us feel as if we are.

Floss ended her post with a quote by Maya Angelou which I am going to steal.

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

My Mum provided that for me by just being her. When she died I felt lost and it has been difficult to move past that feeling. Since then I’ve sometimes thought I need to be taught about the meaning of home.

Places

I have lived in many different places and viewed a few as home. But usually I have felt like a visitor.

Work

My man and I have one of the strangest jobs as we move around all over the country and live in other peoples houses – for a wee while. He and I are similar in that we’re both extremely adaptable and settle into new surroundings extremely quickly. It is exciting and stimulating. Forever adapting and then moving on. Modern day gypsies.

Blog

My blog has become a home to me. It is always here on my computer. The same place, providing routine to my day. I put my heart and soul into the posts I publish and it pulls me along.

To finish ~ May’s definition of home…

A place you feel secure enough to expand you mind and be yourself.

 

F4Thought

14 thoughts on “Home ~ Indicate the way to my abode

  1. I can relate to much of what you say May. Although I have been very fortunate that my parents stayed together and provided a stable home for me and my siblings, attending boarding school meant I had to live away from the home environment. So at an early-ish age (12) I had to make a home away from home. Perhaps that’s why I felt able to leave home so young (19).
    I am a real home maker though, I like cosy surroundings with a few familiar things. I am even like that on holiday. But my OH is makes things feel like home, and having my 2 children around really makes it “all right”. I can’t hang onto them too tight though, because they must grow and spread their wings. But hopefully they will come back often.

    1. i imagined u would be a home maker Posy – and that is wonderful. My kids are independent – i feel i must have done something right as that is our job as parents to raise independent offspring. But when we are all three together it is HOME x

  2. My life has been fairly stable (both in terms of residences and relationships) and that makes it easy to think of home in more tangible ways, but posts like this helped me see how ‘home’ can be more like a complex emotion. Food for thought indeed!

  3. It’s so interesting how you describe that you have a home within yourself and can open and close that door to their home and that way they can connect. I can really envision this in my head as if it were a moving image.

  4. I’m realising as I read these that home can mean so many different things. Plus, I’ve learned more new things about you and I love that. Great post May xx

  5. I think what home means to you is something I can really identify with, and I actually it was reading your post that gave me the ‘why’ of my seeming to move away from various relationships, It’s when that feeling of being able to expand my mind and be myself leaves me, so I look for that elsewhere. Fabulous post May and definitely got me thinking x

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