Communication is key…
Talk about your fantasies
How do I tell my partner about my fantasies? I am sure this question has passed across every adult’s mind at some time in a relationship. It is extremely important to be able to express yourself sexually and fulfill your fantasies with your partner, but you can’t just expect them to know what you yearn for unless you’ve discussed it. Communication is paramount in any sexual relationship but particularly so when “kinkier” events are played out.
So how do I tell my partner about my fantasies? A good place to start is to simply ask them exactly what they desire sexually and what is played out in their fantasies. Then in return, you are free to explain the things you long for.
Remember they may be pondering the same question in regards to you. Such a conversation can be difficult to initiate but so rewarding in the long run. It shouldn’t be just a one off dialog either. It’s a topic a couple must return to often if they hope to achieve a satisfying, long term, sexual relationship.
Don’t be afraid to ask. After all it is far more frightening to be in a relationship that is just not stimulating, than to ask a question that momentarily may make you blush.
There will be fantasies you can play out together – or maybe with a little help from friends. 😉 And, of course, those that will remain in the realms of imagination. But you can still talk about them and maybe bring them into role play scenarios. Find out where your partner’s boundaries lie and whether they may be movable.
I have framed an incident below that happened a few years ago. It was highly charged and pleasurable because I trusted him to deliver what I desired and he trusted me to take it. This trust was not blind, it existed because we spend time talking about our fantasies and what works for us both sexually.
“Do you want me to wear lipstick?” I ask.
“Yes that’s an idea”, he replies, removing his t shirt.
We had just come in from the garden where we’d been enjoying lamb/pepper kebabs and wine for lunch. Now both hot, and a little bit sweaty, we had moved into the bedroom to indulge ourselves.
I’m standing in front of him in just a pair of skimpy, white, lacy knickers.
Bending over the dressing table I apply some deep red lipstick. The colour he likes to see when he face fucks me. I don’t get the chance to turn round as I feel him jerk down my knickers and force his engorged cock inside me. He holds my hips and thrusts. Keeping my arms propped on the dressing table I view the scene in the mirror inches away from my face. My ample breasts are hanging and swaying. His face is intent as I see him pick up one of his smaller handmade whips and begin to thrash my back and arse as he fucks me. I gasp, scream and catch his eye in the mirror, he looks at me questioningly.
“More please”, I murmur.
“More what”? He asks.
He continues to drive his cock and gives me a few more hard cracks from the whip. I take a sharp intake of breath. The pain is bittersweet, on the one hand it is a sudden and throbbing sting, but on the other I feel the most over whelming surge of lust towards him.
Pulling me from the dressing table he demands I stand with my hands against the wall supporting my weight. Inhaling faster I anticipate what’s coming next. I wish I still had the mirror in front of me so I could glimpse the moment the next blow of the whip will occur. Instead he puts the whip down and removes the belt from his trousers. I always feel the leather strap is serving its purpose when he uses it on me. I hold my breath in expectation and the blow lands powerfully on my shoulder blade. My breathing becomes short and quickened.
As I come to terms with the pain I remember how boring my sexual existence had been for years before he filled my life. I always laid my cards on the table at the start of any relationship but if this type of sex is not “your thing” you won’t be able to participate convincingly. A guy spanking me just because I want him to do so is not going to light my fire. I need to look in his eyes and see that he is comfortable with the situation and indeed wants to hurt me. My man gets harder each time he hears me cry out with pain. At this time if I look in his eyes they are animalistic, totally preoccupied with our physical desires.
That is, among so many other reasons, why I’m so glad he’s my man.
He pulls me from the wall and tells me to kneel. I look up at him as he pulls my hair knowing what is coming next and almost getting ready to flinch.
The light slap lands on the left side of my face,causing involuntary tears in my eyes. For me, this is the hardest thing we do. At first I let him because he wanted to. Now it is something I rarely request but do sometimes desire.
I regain my composure and mouth up at him, “I love you”. He holds the back of my head and shoves his cock in my mouth to the back of my throat. I breathe as well as I am able through my nose as he moves in as deep as he can.
He stops and I begin to lick and suck his cock very gently. Hearing him moan as we both sink to the floor.
Suddenly he pushes me flat on the carpet, forcing my legs apart and begins to lick my cunt. Often a session like this hypes me up so much I can’t come. I lay back and enjoy the warmth of his tongue and probing fingers. All of a sudden I feel the surge of pleasure coming on as an orgasm waves over me. I sigh and cry out – when I stop he looks at me and we both smile.
How do I tell my partner about my fantasies? Relax, talk and share your fantasies.