Jesus Christ Sexy Star

Well Christmas is coming  and so here’s an opinion piece about Jesus – whose opinion?  My opinion 😉

Is it only me?

Is it just me who thinks Jesus is a damn sexy dude? I know I am probably blaspheming, but I best not worry about that. Having fucked in a church and written a fictional tale about a priest seducing a young woman it’s probably too late for my redemption.


So when did the man on the cross become so hot? Let’s have a little delve into the past.

The man on the cross

In the beginning!

Before the second world war, Christianity was very much seen as the moral compass for the western working classes. Sitting down to dinner, grace would be said thanking god for the food on the table. Well, it was thought that he was the provider of all good things. Not only that, god was to be revered – or bad, rather than good, would reign down on you. So families would thank him for the food in the hope he didn’t actually take it away.

Christianity kept people like this under control. So Jesus didn’t need to be sexy – everyone was doing and believing what they were supposed to.

Whilst the men were away fighting – (in the second world war) – for god and country, the women prayed for their return. And some of these brave men did come home. The wives and mothers were happy and praised god. The men had witnessed such atrocities, they didn’t think that an idol could exist who would allow these things to happen. They turned to politics instead.

The disconnect began.


Politics explained how different ideologies can improve your life – not god or Jesus, who still was not sexy, but rather that lanky dude with too much facial hair and a loincloth, on the cross.

However, the women still believed and would persuade the men that the kids should go to a god fearing school and also took them to church on a Sunday. Dad stayed at home with the Sunday newspaper reading up on the political state of the economy and working damn hard during the week.


The consumer age began and jobs were abundant. Young people realised they didn’t need to pray to get anything – they just had to work well, and then they could buy and have what they wanted. So it happened that another group were relegating god – it was feared everyone was becoming a little too big for their boots – having a good work ethos and getting well-educated – where would all this nonsense end?

What should be done to put god back into people’s lives and bring them under control?

Hippies Rule & so does Jesus

The swinging ’60s were upon us. Peace and love.

Ah, says the church, is that not what we are all about? Yes, it is. Why don’t we re-brand Jesus as a super sexy, hip, hippy hipster? Let’s help promote the god-spell superstar musicals and movies. That will surely pull the people back in. The church can be modern too. For goodness’s sake, look at what a sexy geezer Jesus really was. Hanging out with all his buddies (the apostles), not to mention the odd sex worker (Mary M.) Doing good deeds. In fact, in some religious cults at this time, sex was used as a carrot to recruit new members in the name of sexy Jesus. And let’s not forget he suffered on the cross for YOU.

Sexy Jesus Unites All

My Schooling

The Jesus indoctrination continued through into the ’80s. I went to a very strict Catholic primary school and then a convent. They took us to the musicals and when we went on vigils at the priory – the young priests were very much geared up to behave as if they were one of the lads. It is this memory that inspired my Sinners tale.

So, Jesus became sexy, people related to the church and everyone was happy. But let’s just not mention the perverts who hide behind the mask of religion.

But to conclude – I am a Jesus fan!

If you like HOT fiction, read about how Christina met a priest and how the Priest met Christina ;-)

Or a fun romance.

Images from Pixabay – except for the crucifix, which is mine.

First shared in 2018

23 thoughts on “Jesus Christ Sexy Star”

  1. I never liked the whole bread white guy the patriarchy would foist on us as Christ. To me he was always a bad ass. He chased the money lenders out of the temple with his rope belt!

    Christ was a carpenter, worked with his hands, and hung out with fishermen, tax collectors (societal outcasts), as well as prostitutes. He was a man, and the son of god. So my thought is he ate, made wine, and fucked. He was human. And god.

    I think he would have been fun to hang out with. Some day I would love to share a shot and a beer with him.

  2. I am amazed at how many coincidences there are in our evolution regarding Christian beliefs.

    All readers of the same age have experienced similar processes of indoctrination and subsequent abandonment of the Catholic religion.

    For some time now, I have believed in a universal mysticism, without gods present. In any case goddesses, who I believe have to take back their place in this Universe.

  3. We’ve spoken before about how much of a stud Jesus was (is). I love the history lesson as well as your deduction. In the Shack, Jesus is Jewish (which he was) and from the middle.east. he has a Large nose and carpenters and I thought he was damn fine. But what’s mist sexy is what he stands for, whether I believe or not.

    1. thanks for finding this. When they rebranded Jesus they changed his look too. Mind you i have always found big noses sexy – have you seen the pianist (movie) – he’s a sexy dude. Bing brought up a catholic I learned the difference between our tribe” and Christians in general. Catholics put the man on the cross – as in we have a crucifix with Jesus on it. Like the rosary. But in Christian places of worship they just have the cross. The Catholics were self aggrandizing, saying our Jesus suffered on the cross for us – for YOU – so we depict him on the cross… type thing – religion huh!

      1. My bio mom was a Jehovahs witness when I was a girl. They don’t use a cross at all and think of it as a blasphemous thing to keep one, simply becasue they believe Jesus dies on a stake not a cross. Talk about confusing!
        Religions interests me greatly, but isn’t the”for” me if that makes sense. I do have a faith, bit it would be called a spiriruality for lack of better terms.

  4. Sexy Jesus – I like this idea. In fact, I like the idea of a sexified religion. Filthy, filthy thoughts you’ve put in my head with this post…sincere thanks for doing so!


  5. I love this! I myself have moved away from the church roundabout my 18th year, but I cannot say that I have moved away from my faith. It has just changed over the years, probably became more mature and much more private than it was in the days when I had to go to the church to show that I had any kind of faith.

    Rebel xox

  6. An interesting share May. Your feelings towards JC have been shaped entirely by the Church. Who long ago made him a blonde blue eyed white boy. Which we know he wasn’t, given his ethnicity and place of birth!

    1. In my head, I certainly don’t see him or need him to be blonde or blue-eyed, but – what we find attractive is obviously very subjective. If I had to choose he would be dark-haired, olive-skinned with deep brown eyes, throw in bare feet and a robe and now you are talking – hang on I quite like big noses too – but that’s just me! 😉

  7. A very enjoyable read May. Lots to ponder upon about the cult of Jesus as we near his birthday. I expect The Life of Brian is still banned in some countries but possibly Jesus himself would have enjoyed it if he had a means of watching it. xx

  8. I enjoyed your take on this and also the historical content. I read a book once called ‘The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism’ which would support some of what you have said. I don’t remember the bit about making Jesus sexy though! An interesting read. Thank you ?

    1. The books won’t say that – well maybe some do 😉 that’s what I have deduced – my opinion and personal history from Catholic indoctrination during my young years – thanks for reading Missy x

  9. Yeah the “arty looking” Jesus was probably another attempt to lure us in a bygone age. Nothing under the sun is new – for sure. x

  10. Fascinating piece, May.

    The religious impulse in most of humanity is still very strong. We might think we’re a secular society but all that means is that many people have replaced religion with other secular doctrines aimed at giving them certainty as a means to control them in the same old ways – I really hate the appeal to authority that so many respond to.

    So ‘sexy Jesus’ – that did make me smile at the irreverence and thankful that the ducking stool is a thing of the past ??

    1. Yeah – totally agree – people always seem to need something “higher” to believe in – rather than simply believing in themselves as an individual. It probably dates back to needing to be “part of a crowd” for a better chance of surviving x

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