Kink ~ I am what I am & don’t need any excuses

Kink one

Ever since I was a teenager it has been my desire/fantasy to be physically hurt or, taken and used by someone else for their selfish gratification.

Kink two

Having an older brother meant that right from a very young age I was subjected to a lot of glam rock. The likes of Marc Bolan singing or Tim Curry gyrating, sealed the fate of one of my other main kinks – effeminate men – particularly men wearing skimpy ladies panties. Just writing about this has an impact on my cunt. I can feel it pulsing, dampening my own knickers. I find it an extreme turn on.

Kink three

It will also no surprise to my readers that I like to be tied up and spanked, whipped or belted.

Put all these three ideas together – use me – whip me and wear ladies panties while you are doing it and you have me worshiping at your feet.

Fantasies can come true

My man wore my knickers and dressed up in hold-ups and thigh length boots. He topped it off with a tight waistcoat and I was putty in his hands as he tied me up and flogged me looking like he was about to set foot onto the set of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Bliss. I wrote about the amazing experience for Swingtowns blog.

He’s got great legs so the holdups looked impressive. My lacy knickers were taut against his cock, the sight making my cunt contract.

It certainly has not always been as easy for me to express and indeed enjoy my kinks. My first boyfriend was very adventurous but without the chemistry, we just played at it really. After him, some of my partners had their own personal fetish they wanted to try out. But if I ever mentioned spanking or worse it was made clear they could never ever raise their hand and hurt a woman. Yawn!

I don’t need any excuses

I tend to get annoyed with certain so-called do-gooders who are quick to judge people who enjoy kink. Viewing it as a deviant practice. I didn’t like Fifty Shades. I started it but was not keen on the writing style so never finished the series. It’s my opinion that the author should have made more use of communication within the story. Anyhow, I think it may have ended with Mr Grey believing things that happened in his childhood made him have such kinky desires and he will try harder to be vanilla in the future. Propaganda. I am what I am and I don’t want or need any excuses.

My man

I did manage to find a kinky guy back in 1997 but he came with his own baggage. Though it was around this time I was lucky enough to become friends with my man. One of the first things he said to me was,

“You should stay away from me. I want to tie you up, whip and do bad things to you.”

I wondered if I had died and gone to heaven?

1997 was not our time but by having the kink conversation with him back then meant getting together five years ago we both knew what we wanted. To be fair we spent hours, maybe even days talking about it. That’s how it should be – communication, communication and still more communication.

Date nights

The first really kinky bondage scenario happened after these talks. I wrote about it right at the start of my blog. We try to have pre-arranged evenings where we spend time focusing on each other and doing the things that get us off sexually. I call them date-nights. After one of these nights, we will usually chat about what we enjoyed and what else we would like to try. Sometimes we have included sex toys and after I have written up a review about how we got on with the product.

A big thank you to Mr Morsel for letting me use his image as my header.

This post was originally published July 2018 – it has been updated and a new image added for Tell Me About and the EJC – Kink prompt…



22 thoughts on “Kink ~ I am what I am & don’t need any excuses”

  1. I really enjoyed your description of your kinks and the physical (visceral) effects they have on you. I’ve visited your site a few times over the years and I love everything you do, but particularly appreciate your love of men in panties. It’s a kink that I’ve grown into over the years and I gained a very important sense of acceptance from reading what you have to say on the subject. I don’t have my own website but perhaps one day I will work up the course to show some of my lacy things off. Thank you. Polly x

  2. I’ve never really considered men in ladies’ lingerie to he a turn on for me, but your description definitely got my juices flowing, so I can see how this would be a sexy…especially if they were in a role of power. Hmmm…

  3. I love the way you list your kinks and totally own them. And when you said what your man had said! That would have such a huge impact on me. Discovering the HL knew the things I wanted was, and still is, part of what really turns me on. Thanks for updating to TMA! Missy x

  4. Great piece May
    I’m totally with you on
    ‘I am what I am and I don’t want or need any excuses’.
    No psychoanalysis here 😵

  5. I totally get that you thought you had died and gone to heaven when your man said that to you. It reminded me of those early days when Master T and I started chatting and realized there were a lot of mutual interest and fantasies. And like you say… communication, communication, communication! Great post, May, and happy you have updated it for us to read again 🙂
    ~ Marie xox

    1. Thanks Marie – when I asked him how he knew I wouldn’t mind him saying those things he said he could see in my eyes I wanted a spanking lol
      May xx

  6. It’s a great story and a great photo. I realized that if you collect all the listed excesses in the meantime, then this will be the maximum satisfaction.

  7. I love the way you express yourself as well as your relationship. You remind me I need to go talk with my Kitten who has been kind of pouty all day.

  8. First time visitor… nice exposition of the importance of communication, thanks! And before I forget, a man who – whether he’s Alpha or beta – is confident in panties is a creature to be cherished.

  9. My first few thoughts when reading this were ‘omg I love that kink too, and that one, and that one’ which made me smile because it’s always nice to see the kinks you enjoy being savoured by others too. Also you speak a lot of sense about not needing any excuses to enjoy your kinks, I am the way I am with mine too, and know amount of soul searching has every changed that.

    Great post 🙂

  10. A fascinating read May. I especially appreciated your comments on communication – although I agree – what’s not to love about a bloke in women’s underwear! As for the pain – mine is mostly self inflicted, but it’s not something I think I could express readily to a vanilla partner.
    However, coming late to an understanding of my own kinkiness, one of the things I appreciate so much is the communication. When CM and I started to connect I was overwhelmed that we spent about 4 hours talking – just sitting at my dining room table drinking tea and talking. After years of shallow discussions with my ex, and memory based ones with mum I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. I have sometimes stated that we are not in a kink relationship, but I don’t think that’s true anymore, it’s simply that our kinkiness is expressed non-sexually. Certainly whatever this “thing” is that we have, it’s not a standard romance, nor is it purely a friendship. And I have hopes that one day I’ll get to see him in my corset… Indie xx

    1. Love your comment Indie – I do so hope you get some pictures when that day arrives. What was wonderful about my man dressing up is he did it for me . He really is a man that loves being – well – manly – but knowing it is what i wanted he did it – and very finely too 😉 xx

  11. This was a great opinion piece. I have similar fantasies to you also, as we know from our chats, my BDSM curious post and the fact that we BONDED over a story where the ‘antagonist’ (the wolf to my red riding hood heroine) dresses up in the godmother’s lingerie!! I agree, once you have welcomed kink into your life I think you’re unlikely to want to close the door on it again – the do gooders are welcome to find out what makes us as we are, but they’d better not try to change us all! Yes the Fifty Shades trilogy not only suffered from a weak writing style but exactly that mentality. The film made Mr Grey appear even more abusive than the books because he ploughs on with what he wants despite Anna frequently stating that it is not her ‘thing’.
    Communication is indeed key but I notice one thing a lot now I know our blogging community better, a lot of folk are bad at voicing what they want with their partners (despite many of them writing great advice/instructive posts). I am sure they tell their partners what they DONT want but I’ve seen several remarking that they have trouble asking for what they DO want.
    Finally I want to agree with you about how much I enjoy KP’s tweets about his instructions from his mistress regarding wearing ladies underwear. Not only does he look great in his ‘manties’ but I can applaud and agree with the frisson of wearing something as a ‘titillating secret’.

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