Kissing ~ the great leveller

Kissing ~ the great leveller

When my daughter was sixteen she found a photo of me at the same age – blowing a kiss – and sketched the the image below…

kissing

A while ago I was reading one of F.Leonora’s posts where the phrase,  “out of your league” was used. It brought back all kinds of memories and so I have put those thoughts together to tell you this true tale.



Ah kissing…

I am not going to disgust you all with the descriptions of my first few proper kisses. They were wet and sloppy. Instead let us jump right on to the sixteen year old May.

When Don first asked me to dance I was fifteen. From that moment on for a few years really no body matched up. Looking back he wasn’t wonderfully handsome – 6 foot 3, skinny, a shock of blond hair and freckles. It was more his attitude. Without realising it I recognisesd an alpha male and wanted him.

I got my wish when I was sixteen, still a virgin in case you were wondering. We started dating. The first person ever to make my heart go…

thumpety thump – with just a look of his gray eyes…

The thing was, to every one else, it was obvious he was crazy about me too.

He used to come down to a night club that I frequented with some girlfriends. And we would dance and chat and look – deep – into – each – others – eyes.

Ah Don…

One evening when the club had closed my friend took a photo of me and him.

Picture this…

Don had his back against the wall and was looking down at me. I had my head tilted up to meet his. My long, fair, wavy hair blowing back over my shoulders in the breeze and our lips were about to meet.

She snapped the shot…

Got the image side on and it was picture post card perfect. But I lost it.

Looked a bit like this, but with real people and in colour 😉

kissing
Image from Pixabay

I can picture it in my head as clear as day. For me everything is visual. If only I could draw. My writing is simply pictures I see, turned into words. And my memory is made up of images thrown together in some kind of order.

Back to the story. The photo was adored by us all. My whole peer group.

“Le’s ‘ave a look,” except we were all slightly less cockney.

In a way Don and me were a very good match. I was feisty and clever. He had an ego.

Here’s another memory I have of us kissing…

One evening we were coming back from the cinema. Going to his house. Don popped us off the bus a stop too late. I didn’t realise why until he said we needed to walk through the wood to get to his road.

We stopped. He kissed me….

Oh – like – I’d never – been – kissed  – before…

Which to be fair, I was only sixteen. But then he opened my blouse, pulled down my bra cups and worshiped my breasts with his mouth. I was almost in raptures. It was beyond pleasure for me.

Yep. I was falling for him…

So here is the punch line. He was a rich, private school boy. Lived in a large, six bedroom detached house in a posh suburb.

I was a not very wealthy convent school girl who lived in a small, three bedroom semi in a poorer area.

I kinda noticed the difference…

But not a lot.

He liked me. I was more than taken with him. And when we kissed…

thumpety-thump

His family were great, we got on well. And why not, I was polite, attractive and intelligent.

But then, one day my step father said,

“What you doing with a boy like that? He’s out of your league”

What does that even mean?

My step father came from the slums of Liverpool and had worked hard for his position in life. His first wife had been from a wealthy family and it hadn’t worked out. I think he wore a chip on his shoulder that he wasn’t good enough. That day he transferred it on to mine, damaging my self esteem.

Having been bought up in a church environment – school and socially – I’d been taught self worth was not about money. And it was the way you behaved that signaled your class.

That day I unlearned all of that…

My step father crushed my view that the would was a meritocracy. Up until then in my eyes we were all different, yet equal.  All individuals and judged by what we did.

That day money suddenly mattered…

So I dumped Don. Took up with the lovely Jim. Who was wonderful….

But didn’t make my heart go thumpety-thump

And never kissed me like there was nobody but us in the world.

Don did… and each time we had kissed, it was only him and me, an equal match.


Header Image by Tomasz Kowaluk from Pixabay


Updated for Wicked Wednesday… April 2021

Kissing
Blowing a kiss
F4Thought #117
        #117 Kissing

19 thoughts on “Kissing ~ the great leveller

  1. I’m so sad for 16 year old May. Having those thumpety-thumps stolen from you.

    I’ve never really been a fan of kissing, and so that thumpety thump.passed me by. But only one Man has the ability to make the blood go woomph-woomph-woomph, even with something as brief as a little brush of his lips on my forehead.

    I do enjoy reading your true life stories, well, all of them really, but these are so heartwarming. Yes, even even sad parts are told with warmth. 😍 n x

  2. Everyone deserves thumpety thump kisses. I’m sad that you had to give them up for ordinary Jim kisses. I have also been told someone one was out of my league and you’re right, it does change your self image. I sometimes have wondered how many settle simply because they think they are not good enough for more.
    Love learning about your youth May 🙂

  3. Thanks May, your story brought back memories of my first kiss at a bus stop with Clare. I never dreamt of worshipping her breasts although they were forming nicely, I just remember the magic of a deep exchange of tongues snd nibbling her lip.
    My kissing these days is just a quick peck on the lips to say goodnight. My wife has tongue-tie which restricts her tongue movement and I miss deep kissing very much.

    1. I think in general kissing seems to become more infrequent as you get older and settled. But when it happens it sparks memories for sure. Thanks for reading Laurie

  4. If only your stepfather hadn’t crushed your beliefs then, where would it have lead with Don, but then again, everything in life happens for a reason.
    ~ Marie xox

  5. I agree with Nero, there isn’t much space made for kissing in my real life relationship. I have equally poignant memories of youthful, early days kissing, and the way you wrote this May has taken me back to those heady days. Thank you! I remember the first time I kissed in the rain, outside a school disco, it felt so magical and special, a real ‘movie’ moment!

  6. My wife and I don’t really kiss much anymore, but I still remember all those heady moments of my youth. Oh to be an adolescent again!

  7. My heart broke a little for you by the end of this, May. I know the heart thumping feeling you speak of very well. This is what I had with Raven (and luckily still do), when we were just 17. I would have been devastated if I had to let that go.

  8. Oh I love tales of those first kisses, they’re so wonderful. My first kiss was with a boy who definitely didn’t stir much inside me, but my first kiss with a girl, well, she was a different matter all together, very much thumpety thump thump 🙂

  9. I loved your story of your first love … and kiss, May … but yeah … about that ‘out of your league’ thing … my stepmom tried that with me … only the other way around … as in Frank was ‘not in my league’ … but here we are 46 yrs later – she could not have been more wrong :>) … nj … xx

    1. Thanks Elliott – The boy and me met by accident years latter and had a chat – only after that did I let him go from my thoughts really ?

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