Labelled with love not hate ~ Debate?

Labelled with love not hate ~ Debate?

Labels are meant to tell us something. Define or describe. Well, in the main I don’t like being labelled. Labels can be inaccurate or restrictive. Two reasons I try not to use them. But sometimes, I suppose, they can’t be avoided.

What I mean is I am dyslexic. That term is often used as a label to refer to certain writing and reading disorders. Because I do write – a lot – I occasionally find I have to actually tip a few people off that this is actually a problem I have. My problem, but one that others may need to be aware of. Particularly when I get called out on twitter for malapropism.

So lets look at labels. Labels for you and labels for me 😉

Labels ~ love em or hate em

One of the reasons I don’t like labels. Have I mentioned that before? That I don’t like labels? Well I don’t. Is because others can just come along with a large sticky one and slap in on your breast, just above your left nipple. The writing red and bold. And it is a lie. Inaccurate. Born out of ignorance or simply lack of knowledge. I have had a few of them literally thrown at me. Hard to peel off as they are sticky as hell.

What about general labels? If someone saw me and we spoke for say five minutes they may go away and get their marker pen out ready to write – Cis, White, Het without even consulting me. Meaning from my persona they think I identify with the gender of my birth. I am Caucasian and heterosexual. But would that label be true?

Labels can be spurious

The first bit is good. Cis. I do identify with being female and I was born a girl. But I don’t see myself as white and would not consider my self totally Het.

I have mixed blood – Indian, Mexican and a Nordic man that the sailed the seven seas. As far as attraction is concerned it will always be the person for me. The individual. Over any other aspect, every time.

But the main thing is I don’t think about these things. Not an issue. It may be someone else’s issue. But I am just me. Whether you stick the Cis, White, Het label on me OR the Cis, mixed, uncertain(does that exist?)I am still the same person – But to others, these different labels show two diverse people, as labels are not only ambiguous they are often used as privilege markers too. People have a tendency to judge and only see the label they want to see.

labelled may more


This is where I think labels work best. If for various reasons you feel the need to belong. To be part of a group with a similar belief system, characteristics or lifestyle as you. I can see how this would benefit the people using the label. Personally, I have never really felt a strong need to be in a group. But I do appreciate sometimes it can get cold on the outside. And people on the outside need to beware of stereotyping members on the inside.

Sexually I would be labelled?

Sexually, I would be seen as a submissive brat. That’s OK, you could describe me as both those things. I’m not a lifestyle submissive. I’ve thought that maybe I could venture into that realm, but apart from dodging labels I have been focusing a lot on trust recently in all aspects of a person’s life, history and relationship. You will read more from me about that soon. So as far a taking up the mantle of a lifestyle submissive,  I think I would be hindered from complying by the fact I struggle with trust.

A label I have been given and agree with is that of Witch 😉 – but even this has connotations – burn the Witch, Witch hunt and so forth…

So concluding – I want to be labelled with love, not hate…

tell me about labelled
Labels – labelled

17 thoughts on “Labelled with love not hate ~ Debate?

  1. Unfortunately our brains need stereotypes and labels to make sense of the world. That is fine, but, like you say, people can get stuck inside of them. It’s better to go our own way and judge people for who they are ?

    And indeed, to be labelled with love, especially these days…

  2. This is a brilliant post May and your thoughts are right on the same track as mine. You have expressed this in such a strong way though and I love your picture! Fantastic 🙂

  3. Labels can give open reign to people being so judgemental and I think you really point that out in your post. I understand your absolute dislike for labels in that regard. I like how you end it, wanting to be labeled with love. I think that’s a really great sentiment

  4. As always your post has really struck a chord (must write my own post on labels)

    I found it really interesting to see your thoughts on using the label lifestyle submissive. I always believe we (in any dynamic) can set the rules for how that looks, so while your views on what a lifestyle submissive looks like don’t currently match up with what you feel able to offer, why not make your own rules around that particular label and paint your own picture? Seperate from the stereotype…

    I really like the idea of being labelled with love too.

    1. I do agree about setting your own rules but I think I would continually break them and my man would get despondent – although he would probably enjoy punishing me for it lol

  5. Indeed, some labels are stuck without asking, and no matter what you do, you can’t remove it. This is a brilliant post, May! It made me smile, but it also made me frown at the unfairness of some labels that are believed without question… Labeled with love, not hate. All the yes to that!
    ~ Marie

  6. Very well discussed and thought provoking. A label is so easy to apply it becomes dangerous because- As you say – the person labelling probably doesn’t have all the information about the person.

    Labels, therefore, should be taken as guidance not fact.

    It’s also Possible to no longer fit under a label that once applied – people can grow & change – turn away from beliefs & associations as much as towards them.

    Let’s not be defined by labels.

  7. If only labels came without judgement, we would be living in a much different society. I use the opposite view- I love labels as they help me identify with a person. (My desk is covered in sticky notes, but the important thing is that they are removable) The sticky notes can change just as we change. Similarities are great for bonding, while differences are jumping off points for discussions to learn and grow- the labels are the key factor in both areas.
    Great post May! ❤️

    1. I so agree about “if only labels came without judgment” and the bonding – that’s important for self-esteem – and also I think that differences between people should be celebrated and discussed. Thanks for reading Jae x

  8. how much easier life would be if we all loved and did not feel the need to label.
    even if we just respected each other. i have been a manager of over 300 and felt internally submissive to them all if they ever knew the truth. Life is interesting thank you for your blog

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