Learning to Love Yourself

Learning to Love Yourself

I wasn’t going to write a post about Words to Live By as my man has written a brilliant article on that topic already.

But I wanted to enter this little photo into the Lingerie is for Everyone meme. I am wearing my favourite bra that you can find in many photos of me on this site. Can’t beat a bra that is sexy and comfortable. Particularly if you have big boobs.

learning to love yourself jacket and bra
Lingerie is for Everyone ~ Love yourself

I love the jacket I am wearing too. It is an original Daks – so very old yet in great condition. I wore it in one of my first ever photos that was picked for the Sinful Sunday roundup. People never fail to comment on the colours. It is quite striking.

While I was thinking about the above it occurred to me that I actually like the images I put out of me on my site. Some more than others but that is OK.  Things were different when I was a late teen and I struggled with myself so much.

My step father was very difficult to live with and I was being badly bullied by a lad I had previously been to primary school with. He was friends with my boyfriend Jim and my best friend Vic.

When ever they were out of ear shot he’d tell me I was ugly and he didn’t know what anyone saw in me.  Sometimes he’d attempt to convince the guys to give me up, They both loved me though so thankfully that was not going to happen.

But I began to believe him. I was ugly. I was worthless. And for a while I quite hated myself.

It was difficult to fathom out why he was being so cruel. I felt I hardly knew him. Some said they thought he fancied me so was jealous. But that would have perhaps warranted a little jibing. He was darn right vindictive towards me. Then, only about ten years ago I thought of another possible reason.

My dad was a paediaphile. Not a recognised or convicted one. Anyhow, he taught the boys at my primary school football after classes. Perhaps my dad had dealings with this lad and this was why he hated me so?  But I will never know and to be honest don’t want to.

During this time I would sit in my small box bedroom and sob. Listening to the Greatest Love – George Benson version. And these lyrics made an impact –

I believe that children are our future;
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside.
Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier;
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we use to be.

Because the greatest love of all is happening to me.
I found the greatest love of all inside of me.
The greatest love of all is easy to achieve.
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.

And if by chance that special place that you’ve been dreaming of – Lead you to a lonely place – Find your strength in love

I knew the only way through the torturous bullying was to believe in my self and learn to love me for who I was.

Posy talks about how important it is for us to encourage young people to recognise their talents and feel worthy. So true and precisely the treatment I would have benefited from as a teenager.

The boy’s comments led me to feel truly dreadful, my self-esteem hit rock bottom.  But by the power of music the song convinced me if I discovered inner strength I could change this. Clutching my teddy, who had been with me since I was three and still sits on a bed in my home, I would rock forward and back, singing along to the song. My teddy and the record became my support network.

Deviant, who has written a great article regarding her own support system, will be interested to read about how I came to rely on both these things to boost myself when life events got me down. This continued for quite a few years. The lyrics,

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all

became my mantra,  my Words to live By – and in a way they still are.

Words to Live By #111
#BlogDaysOfSummer learning to love yourself
Aug 15th Learning to Love Yourself
Lingerie is for everyone
Learning to love yourself #31
#32 Love yourself

13 thoughts on “Learning to Love Yourself

  1. The lyrics to that song are wonderful indeed. I was bullied terribly when I was younger, and found my respite in music, too, so I really felt your words ?

  2. The world can be so disturbing and a lot of what you wrote here made me sad … even trying to understand the ways people behave unearths more sadness. However. You come at it with open heartedness now and curiosity and because you have made such good strides in self love it does end with positive feels. You are brave and beautiful and I’m so glad you found ways to support yourself when you didn’t deserve the ways you were treated. Seems like a good post for you to have written.

  3. oh May. you have overcome/worked through so much. I hope you’re proud of yourself because that’s a lot to handle, especially as a child. You’re beautiful inside and out and I think you for linking up such a personal post.

  4. Let’s start with the bra & the jacket – both classy & attractive. I’m delighted you take& share pictures of yourself you like – I do now too. It’s empowering.

    The bullying sounds horrible, tough to deal with, especially added to the way your step Dad treated you too.i agree there must’ve been something bitter behind it – jealousy or perhaps it WAS something to do with how your Dad behaved.

    Anyway – you found a song which spoke to you (I get that a LOT) and thank goodness a really healthy positive mantra to bra guiding light to follow. I can relate to the teddy bear being a touchstone of security too – mine helped me through some tough times & you needed something constant in your life.

    I’m so glad you felt able to share – I hope writing this felt like therapy. Thanks so much for linking to my piece – I agree they do add to one another. Xx

  5. I loved that song when I was younger. I remember singing it in primary school, of course the lesson being taught was to love yourself. This was a fabulous words to live by and the image was gorgeous, the colors and the bra. ❤️

  6. This both tugs at the soul and is inspiring.

    I’m fortunate in that the home life was stable, but the bullying I can relate to, I had 4 to 5 years of it. I can see the child, confused, alone and fearful, groping towards what provides comfort because there is one to show the way.

    Fortunate words to find and latch on to.

    Lovely jacket. xx

  7. These are such true words May, and ones I can definitely relate too though in very different circumstances to your own. When I first embarked on my journey into kink I had lost all love for myself and it set me on a path that could potentially have been very destructive. I am always so very grateful for the fact, I found ways to love myself again and in doing so changed the path I was on. With all in the will in the world, someone else loving me wouldn’t have been enough to change things, it needed to be my love that counted, so I thoroughly agree with these words of wisdom. Fabulous post May and I am delighted you shared them. Also the picture is gorgeous and I love that jacket! xxx

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