Notes on Smut Marathon Round Five Stories

Notes on Smut Marathon Round Five Stories

From reading the details of this assignment the whole of the story for this round needed to happen in complete darkness. Having been in the competition last year I remember feeling a little peeved if an entry did not stick to the rules and still got a lot of votes. With this in mind my 3 votes went to my favourite stories that in my mind adhered completely to the assignment.

After reading all of the round five stories there were a few themes that were repeated. One being dining or clubbing in the dark. This reminded me of a tip someone gave last year.

When planning your story think of a great idea and then abandon it. If you thought of it others may have too.

And remember erotica is subjective so my taste is just that, mine. Just as the feedback you receive may vary – as individuals we all get off on different styles of writing and subject matter. Please remember that when reading any comments I have written.

I read all the stories once. Had a another read through and wrote  a comment on those that called to me for one reason or another 😉 Attempting to write one positive thing plus a possible improvement on each one.

Notes on the round five stories

Here are my first lot of notes/feedback on some of the stories . The number relates to the entry number.

  • 1) Fabulous descriptive writing. But I didn’t find the scene sexy. Erotica is subjective though.

  • 3) The food theme here is great, and has the makings of a sexy tale. Do get someone to read over your work as quite a few errors in the writing.

  • 8) Oh yes this was hot and dirty, with a good end twist – good work! Maybe set out the speech in the story better – simply for ease of reading.

  • 9) Loved the second half of this one. Very urgent and visual. A few times commas are used which should be full stops.

  • 10) This is such a good idea. My second favorite of the other-worldly themes. Too much use of the word fucking for my taste.

  • 12) Really like the sparse writing style making every word count. Would have liked it set out better for ease of reading.

  • 15) Great writing, particularly the first paragraph setting the scene and the room having it’s own heartbeat. Very everyday theme.

  • 24) What a sexy scene. Not knowing who is sucking your cock. Love, “fireworks of colour.” One typo.

  • 26) Great idea – in a lift – I remember that 😉 – This was witty, fun and well written. Not too sexy though IMO.

  • 29) Hot scene depicted for the end. So many players in this tale.

  • 31) Wow. You sucked me in with such a strong scene and great writing. Only thing I would mention is careful of repeating words close together.

  • 32) This is an urgent erotic scene and ww2 blackout makes for a great backdrop. Being picky here but when the story starts it is not dark.

  • 33) Powerful story with a great last line. But not sexy for me.

  • 34) Really appreciated this story. Very relatable and a great twist. This is erotic though no sex occurs. Beware of cliches.

  • 45) A few great descriptive paragraphs and very raw and hot. Very picky here but I would have chosen to use her name more.

  • 48) Really like the continued reference to an in space theme here. Maybe an occasional mis-use of tense.

  • 50) I liked this intriguing tale. I think it would have worked better as a longer story – only slightly erotic.

My Top Six from the round five stories

The ones that I picked for a third reading were in my mind all great stories worthy of my vote :

Numbers  8  15  24  26  31  34

8) Surprise Party ~ So many hot bits in this story. Her skirt is moved and panties cut off. There are numerous guys there and I m really thinking they are all going to fuck her – but then the twist comes. Nice work.

15) Heat of the Night ~ The scene is set very quickly in this tale. You can almost feel the heat of the night. But the story is really about sounds. All the noises that become even more distinct in the dark. Great use of the word voraciously.

24) Unexpected Circumstance’s ~ The thrill of this story is that the central character does not know who is sucking his cock. And it certainly doesn’t matter who it is. The not knowing makes this tale very hot.

26) There were not many witty stories this round. This one was though. Well written and made me chuckle. Great ending too. Made me think of last years SM when one of the tales was set in a lift.

31) This is just beautiful. Great writing and a super idea for a tale in the dark. This is not just a night in the dark it is a life in the dark. So much told in such a short space. The last two lines finished the story perfectly. Well done. I loved it.

34) Reading this tale I could really relate to that person, laying next to someone you can not reach out and touch. The beauty of this is there is no sex in this story at all but to me it was still very erotic with a great ending as well. Great job.

Voting Time

The round three stories  to get my vote were

31 – 34 and 15

I hope I chose YOU!

– out of the six I ended up with these three as they stuck in my head a little more – but all six were fabulous flash fiction…


Here is my round five story from last year.

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smut marathon competition round five stories

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5 thoughts on “Notes on Smut Marathon Round Five Stories

  1. Always enjoy reading your commentary, whether you mention mine or not. And yes, that tip is a good one, as well as many of the critiques you had of stories (I agreed with a lot of them.)

  2. Great writing tip. It makes for a more interesting story in a competition when you discard your first idea. It’s always interesting to see what others pick and why. This really is about individual taste when it comes to reading

  3. Thank you for your notes, May! I love how you have come to your three choices and am excited to see who you chose 😉

    Rebel xox

    1. Thanks Marie it turns out my top was Floss, second Kevin Sparks ( who is new to me, but will certainly check out some of his work now) and third Pons. Having written with CP I think I am wired in to his writing style in some way.
      Was interested to notice that Molly and I had the same top 2 😉 x

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