Oral Sex & Me ~ Love and Licks!

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Being on the receiving end of oral sex has been a difficult journey for me.  Content Notice – This is a very personal post which refers to sexual abuse.  If you want to miss the tricky bits scroll down until you see this heading ~ SHAVING ~ where the post turns to lighter issues.

Marked by History

Let’s get the heinous events over with first. My dad died when I was young but not before he sexually abused me for a short time and committed bigamy. Yeah, what a guy 😉

We are all dealt a hand in life and I honestly have actively tried not to let it ruin mine. Time is precious and life is a gift. To quote a fellow blogger – Life isn’t a fairy tale – you should try not to let a  bad situation define you.

But such an awful experience would obviously leave some kind of mark on a person.

One of the scars is I do not like intimacy during sex. Meaning, I have to fuck, not make love. This took me a long time to learn but fortunately, I did, so can enjoy a fabulous sex life with my man. When we first chatted about this – at the start of our second incarnation – he saw it as a relief, took some pressure off not always  having to make love when all you want to do is fuck the bitch. Consequently, this frees us up to be very dirty – sex is sex!

We are intimate on other occasions. Kissing, cuddles, sharing our everyday life – just very rarely whilst having sex. Though it can and does happen.

Another consequence of my childhood, which will not surprise you, is I find it extremely difficult to trust people. Also, I have a tendency to push them away if they get too close. As a young woman, I actively attempted to destroy my relationships.

My Oral Sex Problem

When it comes down to individual sexual acts there really does not appear to be a problem – except for cunnilingus – I do not like my cunt being over wet – it provokes an unwanted memory so I try and avoid this occurring whenever possible.

Over the years it has not been an easy task. Most of my men have very much wanted to please me – well in the early days! Thinking oral sex was the way to my heart. It is a difficult conversation to bring up that – yeah go ahead, but not too much saliva please – thank you very much.

Often I would try and avoid receiving oral sex altogether. Letting them know that I preferred fingers or cock. But many men seem to think they are gods gift when it comes to giving their woman head. This meant they would go down on me anyhow. It would not make me feel sexy at all.

In the end, I would need to tell them about my problem, as inconspicuously as possible. That has not been a simple task. Once told some got on board with it, for a while. But would you believe a few even forgot! Just thought I was going off sex with them. To be honest by that time I usually was, making an issue out of it is one sure way to put me off. Tired of trying to get them to understand I love sex, but due to my history, it needs to be in a certain way.

Skilled in the Oral Art

oral sex

My man first ever gave me head years ago before he knew about my background. It was an incredible experience as he seemed to be able to do it without depositing ten ton of saliva on my slit. Also, I could tell he loved the act. He was doing it because it pleased him as well as hoping to please me. That was a big bonus and turn on. My orgasm was very intense and the whole experience stayed with me. Now, he knows about my past and still has a great style when his tongue gets down and dirty with my cunt.

Oral Sex & Shaving

Before my pubic hair was shaved I used to trim my triangle regularly. Being lucky in that the hair didn’t really stray far from that area so there was no cause to wax my bikini line.

I honestly didn’t have any problem with my pubic hair but both my man and I wanted to see what it would be like – bare. Having salon-phobia we knew the job would need to be completed at home. He volunteered. I have written about it before. It has continued to be a very popular post of mine –

Apart from the visual appeal – it seems my cunt has extremely fine features – it is also far more hygienic. Now I wouldn’t have it any other way…

The amusing thing about when he shaves my cunt is the mental visual picture. I am laying, mostly naked, legs spread, he is between them, glasses on, razor in hand, bowl with soap and water to one side. And we chat about all manner of things unrelated to anything physical or sexual. Usually about what we may have for dinner or topics about our work. Only very occasionally now do I get a little embarrassed but not as a general rule – it has just become one of our life-together-rituals. This is one of those times when we couldn’t get much more personal or intimate.

Sensitivity

A fantastic advantage about being shaved is my cunt becomes ultra sensitive to any kind of stimulus. We occasionally have a date-night when it is newly smooth as he cannot resist it. Maybe he will whip me between my legs, always he will kiss and lick it. And in its nakedness, it does not need to be too moist for me to enjoy cunnilingus. Since having my cunt shaved, receiving oral sex has got even better for both of us.

But as with any sexual act, giving or receiving, communication is key. You won’t get what you want if they have no idea what that is.

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This post, first published in 2018, has been re-mastered 😉 for the memes below. Click on the badges to see other posts about oral sex…

tell me about oral sex
Oral Sex and naked cunt

oral sex

23 thoughts on “Oral Sex & Me ~ Love and Licks!

  1. “But many men seem to think they are gods gift when it comes to giving their woman head.” LOL. Also what a great example of people not listening to you or caring about what you want. Can’t believe they’d forget after you’d told them about this super personal and rather scary topic that you probably rather not talk about. like. guys….

    Also it’s interesting that you are more sensitive when you’re shaved. I didn’t know that was a thing! I don’t think I have that.

  2. I can see how a childhood experience like that will color your experiences for the rest of your life, but it’s wonderful to read how you and your man have and are handling this. The shaving ritual sounds beautiful, and I love that it has become part of your rituals. And all the yes to communication!
    ~ Marie xox

  3. Sometimes life can be really shit, mainly people if I’m honest. I can’t remember when the wind last upset me! You have to carry the memories of the past with you but as you quoted, ‘Dont let them define you!’ And you haven’t for sure which is fantastic! Great post which almost borders on a May More user manual! x

    1. lol – u do make me laugh! Seriously – i am giggling. It is a wonder Missy manages to keep her knickers on for 5 mins with u around! Now I think I have made u laugh 😉 x

  4. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, although it’s not easy to write about this having similar problems in the past. Probably this requires some courage.

  5. I can understand why that sort of experience would leave you feeling uncomfortable about oral but I am glad that you have worked with your man to find ways which hit the spot for you. Loads to think about – thank you 🙂

  6. What an amazing man! I thought I was damaged doom and meant to wander this world alone until I met Damian! He has helped me to heal over the years in so many ways and performing oral on me is just now something I’ve really grown to love just in the past few weeks. You are so encouraging and admirable! Thank you for this transparency. It will help others

  7. Thank you for sharing such a personal post. I relate to some of the mental health issues you mentioned. Generally I love oral but if something turns me off then I’m done and can’t get back in the mood. I find shaving makes me feel more comfortable when someone gives me oral but I wish I felt the same with or without hair down there.

    1. I very much liked your post – it was bravely written. I have featured it in my latest article – nudity, shadows and copyright. x

  8. May this was a wonderful post – open and honest about things that most would not want to talk about. I found out not long after discovering your blog that you are very skilled and comfortable talking about subjects others often wont tackle and that is one of the things which draws me to you and makes me admire you also. I too prefer bare, for the sensitivity but I get waxed (must write about that sometime) and I agree the oral sex has become much more fun since, I think in particular for OH!! Done badly oral sex can be horrible, like several snails dancing a rumba over my pussy! Erugh! Thanks for sharing May.

    1. Thanks for commenting Posy – I try to write about these awkward topics because I have experience of them and if that can help anyone, then that has surely got to be a positive from my negative. I particularly choose to write in a very matter of fact fashion because I believe it counts what a person does moving on from a bad situation, and if at all possible we owe it to ourselves not to be defined by it xx

  9. Something I have not done… shave someone. Unless you are a barber, I think it would be an act of love. At least the way you describe it, May.

    I enjoyed reading this post. Oh btw, gods gift when it comes to giving their woman head… yep, that’s me. Really.

    1. Ha Ha – so many men think that Elliott, but given your finely tuned interest in the female body and the way you describe sensations and tempo, I’m inclined to think you’re not boasting!

  10. I admire your openness, honesty and skill in writing about your experiences. It’s wonderful that your man makes oral sex work well for you.

    1. Thank you Mrs Scarlett – I always find your own posts really open and informative. I am really happy you commented on mine ;-0 x

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