It was easy for me to see how I could combine the F4T and WW prompts this week. Being pride and about someone who strengthens and supports you.
My man is a great source of strength and encouragement to me now and has been for the last six years. However when I think about a person who continually did that over many many years, helping me to feel proud about myself, then it has to be my Mum.
I am because we were…
I have written a little about my Mum already and don’t want to repeat too much so will very much stick with the prompts here.
Mum Chose Me
To begin at the beginning, my Mum adopted me. Which provided me with major support right from when I was a baby. Not only that, from the moment I have memories they were of her saying she’d chosen me specifically, not another baby, because I was a very special little girl. I felt proud and well shiny. I visualised a large room with many cots and my Mum walking up and down getting ready to pick the baby who shone the most. That was me!
I was never forced to do any household chores. She used to say –
I didn’t choose you to be my little slave.
My Aunt often moaned that I wouldn’t do as I was told and Mum would retort that I would come around in my own time. And she was right. I always did. Nobody has ever known me better than my Mum.
My Mum was not very modern but she was extremely glamorous. I can assure you she did not wade around fields in wellie boots and overalls like me 😉 My friends Mums were, lets just say, mumsie. In contrast my Mum glittered against the drab surroundings. But mostly she had old, or like me, second-hand clothes. She just wore them well.
I have to say sometimes having other children’s cast offs did not make me feel special particularly as I became a teenager and wanted to look trendy for the school disco. We didn’t have much money, my dad had gone and my Mum was working to keep our little family afloat. I understood this so never mentioned a thing about it. However, as if she could read my mind, a shopping trip was arranged and she bought me a couple of outfits I had been coveting for a few months. I was so happy I nearly cried. Suddenly I was allowed to transform from a very plain duckling into a little bit of a swan.
Making her Proud
We did have difficult times, of course, life rarely runs smoothly. But whether I was passing an exam or failing one – gaining a new friend or arguing with one – winning a race or bloodying my knees – My Mum was always there ready to tell me how proud she was and how great I was at life.
This continued into my adulthood. Mum was pleased as punch when I graduated so I gave her the BSc certificate. I was heralded as clever and worthy and special.
Mum helped my children feel proud too. No other kids were as pretty or talkative or friendly as her grand children. She would sit reading to them for ages or brushing their hair, as she had mine.
When my Mum died my daughter Mona was eleven and had long quite unmanageable curls. At the funeral service Mona got up and read out a poem she’d written about her Gran. Mentioning how my Mum never pulled through her tangles or raised her voice. Mona said my Mum inspired her.
Still providing Strength
My eldest, Darling Near Miss, was talking to me just the other day saying she was fed up about how her girlfriends sometimes put each other and women in general down. She said we should be standing up for each other and I’d taught her that. It is true, I usually comment about other women in a complimentary way, but that was because my Mum did. She saw the positive in everyone and made the people she knew feel more confident about their abilities and strong enough to face the day.
I miss my Mum but I can still feel her presence buoying me on when I feel sad and supporting me. Often appearing in my dreams when I have been going through a particularly hard time. I don’t believe a loved one ever leaves you completely. My Mum’s energy is with me and I am a better person for having known her.