relationship

Cock-a-doodle do I want a relationship with you

Being in a relationship should be an enjoyable part of life. Not always easy but hopefully rewarding. The more you put in the more you get out. Well, that should stand true but as people are human with individual agendas and morals we may sometimes be disappointed.

Patience May be a virtue

So please excuse the jaunty title, I couldn’t resist it. But this is a serious post about relationships.

I do love a good cock

The way certain creatures behave can teach humans a thing or two.  I adore chickens. In my line of work, I come across quite a few and enjoy watching them. A particular cockerel impressed me a while ago. He had four hens to take care off and he took his responsibilities very seriously. In the mornings he would cheerfully raise the alarm to signal a new day had begun. He made sure he fucked each of them regularly. If they decided to stray from their main patch he would check on them often. When he found any source of food he’d cluck loudly to get their attention, wait while they came running and always let them feed first.

In praise of the Cockerel

These observations made me think about relationship dynamics.

What is real love?

Truly loving someone should surely mean you want the best for them and their happiness is paramount. Sometimes, to be happy, a person may need more than just you in their life. Be it an outside interest, close friends or another sexual relationship.

Past – My man and me

When I first met my man, back in the mid 90’s, I wanted him. I knew that from the start. The moment we spoke I could tell, “he was one of my kind.” Another thing I was sure of was that he was a bit of a tart. He’d invest time in a steady relationship but on occasions, when he didn’t get what he needed sexually, he would play away without the girlfriend knowing. Initially, I sensed this was the case and as we confided in each other he told me details.

During the time we became close I was also seeing a few men casually but to be honest I would have considered giving them up for him, but I will admit I enjoyed the excitement. So I told him about the other guys. He reciprocated and was truthful regarding the way he behaved. I was happy about the honesty we were sharing. We were seeing each other but not pretending we were exclusive.

We both enjoyed our dates together but this type of relationship was not fundamentally me. after a while, knowing that as time went on I would just want him, I sent the other chaps packing. So, there was no choice for me but to move on. Due to personal circumstances leading up to meeting him, I was quite vulnerable and recognised I would not cope well with an open relationship. My heart didn’t want the pain so I disappeared from his life.

He then got together with a woman who became his long-term partner. In many ways it was a good match. But the sexual attraction was not there so he started seeing others every now and then for sex, behind her back. Seven years ago, when we resumed our relationship, he explained that he had really wanted to be faithful and/or honest with her but the physical chemistry between them was not strong and he thought she probably suspected but went with the premise – what you don’t know can’t hurt you.

Patience

Looking back maybe I should have been patient. Waited and communicated better. Because as it turns out, even at that time when we met for the first liaison, he would have committed to me. But I didn’t find that out until years later when we re-connected. But things happen for a reason…

When we both chat about this time now he always says he choose me the first time and I chose him the second. To me it is the other way round. When we first met I made certain moves on him and he then decided he wanted me, but didn’t make it clear. I felt I had chosen him from the moment we interacted, but needed more affirmation. The second time we met up, 15 years latter, I found his email address online and contacted him. But I was truly just interested in how he was. He chose me this time. Making it clear, in no uncertain terms – I was the one.

However, when this happened I was not free to be his and we both had to exercise amazing restraint and patience to wait until my kids were old enough for me to be free to live the life we both desired. I cried tears of patience. And he thumped a few walls in patience. It was a hard time. But we worshiped on the alter of patience and made it through. As you can tell I am not a fan of patience 😉 But we did what was needed to be done. Or rather we didn’t. we refrained from contacting each other, bar the odd call, for a few years. It was difficult.

Patience is a virtue my circumstance forced me to practice.

Present Time

So, now together we are in a monogamous relationship and have made a vow to be open and honest with each other regarding our sexual needs. I sometimes broach the conversation as to whether he would like an additional someone. He says he is too old, telling me that if I did, then he would hope I’d talk with him first. At this point we are content with being monogamous, but I think the communication between us helps cement that, knowing other options are not necessarily eternally forbidden. Because the forbidden fruit is very powerful.

Fantasy

The funny thing is when we are having sex I often fantasise he has another woman sucking his cock, or he is fucking someone else in the arse. This really turns me on. He has also confessed having similar fantasies where one man is fucking me from behind while I am sucking another guys cock. At this time I don’t think I want the fantasies to be brought to life. I still feel we need to nurture our own relationship.

But what can be greater than letting the one you love receive pleasure? Of course if as a couple you go down that route then there is always the chance that more than sex could be on the cards, what about love?

Having thought about this for some time I am reasonably certain I would not cope well if that happened. Sex is one thing, falling in love another.

Patience in a relationship

This post has been heavily updated since its initial publication in July 2018

13 thoughts on “Cock-a-doodle do I want a relationship with you”

  1. Though I have always loved to be shared, I was very insecure when I met sir. I thought I’d feel jealous when we brought in another woman (he’d allowed me to enjoy other men and women, and had also guided a couple in topping me for his entertainment) but I was so surprised that I wasn’t jealous. (Though I did get a little bored, but we discovered cuckqueaning isn’t a thrill for me and its been added to the hard limits list- no-one wants their partner bored during what is supposed to be an intense scene!)

    It has also be a joy to join other couples for fun and mischief, but I’m very choosy about who I will play with. There needs to be a security within their relationship. Sometimes you just get this vibe that it would harm them rather than add anything.

    I love the story about the Cockerel. 1 cock poly never looked so enticing N xx

  2. I really enjoyed reading this and there is a lot here which made me smile and made me think. I am also unsure about the monogamy side and how I would feel if HL were to play with someone else. I think it would depend who and what but I am not sure. Interesting. Loved the cock story at the start. Fab! Missy x

  3. In discussions we’ve had about adding others, I think the fantasy may be better than the reality. But, I’m willing to risk it! She is not game though. Not because of jealousy, based on her statements in other situations she is not the least bit worried. She gets that men can separate sex and love. She has no interest in sex with any other man for a variety of reasons. She is straight as an arrow and has no interest in women. For her, there is no incentive. Which I get and am okay with. That being said, we’re doing things these days I never thought we would so I suppose you never know.

    1. I understand where she is coming from – I am a bit insecure to include a third, but so very much know sex and love is separate – but who knows what is round the corner x

  4. I am available for any exploration of the poly/3way fantasies you and your man desire.
    I’m sure you’ll have many other fans also wanting ‘in’ when you’re ready!
    ???

  5. I knew what you were pulling with that title, May! I do always love to read what is on your mind. Threesomes are a lot of fun when partners are committed, and only if. Of course, threesomes are fantastic when there are now strings attached.

  6. I feel much as you do. Theoretically, it all makes sense, and I know my man would love for me to be open to this. Even after 12 years of marriage , the thought of him falling in love with someone else, even while still being in love with me, terrifies me. But maybe I am insecure and controlling.

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