Any parents out there know or remember the book “Going on a Bear Hunt?” I used to read it with my kids when they were young and because of the repetitive nature of the narrative the three of us would echo the text as I turned a page.
It went a little like this.
“We’re going on a bear hunt. We’re going to catch a big one. We’re not scared.”
At this point an object that needed to be overcome would turn up along the way such as a forest or stream. The book would continue in the same manner for each new terrain ~
“Oh no, we cant go over it, we cant go under it, we’ll have to go through it.”
You get the drift?
Well recently one of my kids gave me some news that by its very nature has opened up our history and damns some of the people she shared hers with. Don’t get me wrong this could be worse, but taking account of my nature it has ruined me for the moment. I’m undone. Open to the elements.
I have been on that bear hunt, found the bear and he has ripped a wound in my chest, gashed at my heart.
I’m scared and trying to return running round or under the fields and rivers to where I started. I don’t want to go through them. I am still winded by the blow from the bear and desperate to unlearn the route to the cave. That won’t happen though. The Grisley has been revealed and I need to concentrate on the wound in my breast. Stitching has begun to protect my heart.
Even as the laceration is being sewn I’m well aware the healing will take time. There will be scar – one that mostly only I will be able to see but a flaw never the less.
I want to hide and am very emotional. Thoughts swirling around my head. And all the while I need to be strong, a mother to the grown up daughter I chose to bring into the world. An amazing individual who is suddenly struggling as if she were a small child learning to walk when all she really wants to do is find a comfy chair and read the bear hunt all over again with me and her sister.
We will be strong and tackle what lies ahead…
Many thanks to the one who has walked their own bear hunt and has spent time advising me.
Image from Pixabay