Recently I read that fear may be coerced, obedience enforced, but respect has to flow freely from a heart full of appreciation for another person’s admirable qualities and/or behaviour.
It appears to me that often we respect someone who portrays qualities or talents that we ourselves do not possess. I get that. I’ve a huge respect for my man’s cooking skills and his outrageous talent for many things creative. I can cook but not as well as him. I am creative with my writing, particularly fiction, but don’t have his prowess with words. But I also admire his patience towards me. I am not an easy person to be emotionally involved with. I am fractious , fickle and irrational.
Having regard for a person’s talent can also mean it is possible to respect someone even if you don’t know them well or like them personally. But in my opinion they would also need to be displaying certain traits to elicit this response. Perhaps some of the following.
Five Points to chew on…
One ~ Humility – be down to earth.
People who show disdain towards others opinions and/or life while insisting their way is the only way are not awash with humility. In fact, arrogant people rarely gain respect.
Being humble isn’t about not thinking well of yourself. It simply means you are aware that you don’t know all the answers and won’t get everything right. Because you are human. Indeed, human and humility come from the same Latin word – humilitas, one who is grounded or near to the earth.
Two~ Boundaries – that’s close enough.
Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them. Remember never set a boundary if you can not enforce it.
It is difficult to have respect for someone if they do not adhere to your boundaries. Obviously this applies in reverse. By paying attention to the way someone behaves means you will learn what their boundaries entail and can build a friendship based on respect by paying attention to them. As time goes by the boundaries may alter, so be open to such changes. Listen to what people are saying, be it their words or actions.
Three ~ Equality
While recognising we are all individuals it is important to remember that just because one person has for example a higher IQ and another can run faster – neither is better than the other. To gain respect don’t shout about your own talents or imply some people or groups are better than others.
Four ~ Self Esteem
Showing humility does not mean you can not think well of yourself. Confidence in a valuable asset when worn alongside others. Learning to love your self helps you to be strong and self reliant. This is an important area to focus on when thinking about respect. As is reflecting. It is never too late to think about how others may see you.
Five ~ Positivity
It is very difficult to respect those that are continually negative. It is true in some situation it is hard to see the positive but look harder, it is there. You may just need to search a little longer or delve a bit deeper. Positivity is contagious and deserves respect.
This was written for two memes I respect – Tell me about and SB4MH
Let me know your thoughts about respect…