Room 101 – Hates and Fears

room 101 1984

Room 101 first appeared in the book 1984 by George Orwell. It’s an extremely insightful novel. The room was said to contain a person’s greatest fear. The popular TV show of the same name asked people to consign their pet hates to Room 101.

  • What are your main hates and/or fears – sex wise or other – that you would like banished from your life forever?
  • Explain why/how these became your hates or fears.

Hates and Fears

I must say I am finding my questions quite difficult and I certainly have had to think about them for a while.

room 101 f4tFriday may more
Room 101 ~ Fears

Pet hates

I have a few petty hates –

  • Clusters, are not visually appealing to me and looking at them I become nauseous. This is called Trypophobia. Posy suffers from it too and mentions it in her post.
  • Narrow minded people. Just get a life.
  • Spiders. And not for the reason you think. I loved them until something happened that I will address in another post one day, maybe 😉

Fears

But I am going to discuss fears here rather than hates. I don’t like to think about hating. Loving is much more preferable.

Petty Fears

I have many petty fears including –

  • Wasps, because I have been stung twice.
  • Boats, because I get dreadful sea sickness so feel out of control.
  • The big wheel, I get motion sickness too 😉
Fears can change

In the book 1984 Winston is asked:

“Have you ever seen a rat leap through the air? They will leap onto your face and bore straight into it. Sometimes they attack your eyes first.”

Now that sounds pretty terrifying. Having no experience of rats when I read the book in my late teens I added them to my fears. Why wouldn’t I? This description of them is horrifying. But when one of my kids was young we had pet rats and they could be very sweet. So my fear of rats disappeared.

What I am saying is fears change with life experience. What you fear today, you may not fear tomorrow.

And lets remember what you fear you may also enjoy too. Let me explain.

Anal and Pain

Sexually I fear anal sex. My main concern is that the delicate skin will be damaged. However, this has not always been a worry to me. In the past I participated in this activity frequently.  Then one time I got hurt and suffered in that area for a while. Because of this incident the fear has stayed with me. Consequently my man and I only participate in anal activity on rare occasions.

Physically I fear pain. When I was younger I would have poo-pooed this notion. But a few years ago I experienced extreme nerve pain for the first time. I was beside myself. Now thinking back to this time my heart beats faster and my mouth dries a little. I know I am scared of it.

Yet sexually I enjoy a certain amount of pain. Spanking, whipping, slapping. In fact at times I crave a good spanking. But pain that is not being inflicted on me by another; pain that my body may experience all by itself – scares me.

Dementia for Room 101

But my biggest fear and the one I want to send to Room 101, is losing my mind. More specifically dementia. Eye’s post on the subject touched my heart. I fear not being able to recognise those I know and being a burden on those I love.

The fact that people suffering with dementia do not always realise they have any issues is even more scary to me. I like to know everything. Be in control at all times – mind wise.

Of course this would not have been a fear of mine twenty tears ago. The young hardly ever fear growing old and the consequences that go with that.

So with this thought on my mind let me say that sometimes it is a great thing to live in the present and enjoy it for the gift it is…


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16 thoughts on “Room 101 – Hates and Fears

  1. Thank you for joining myself and … oh wait, nope don’t need that bit for your post :p Thank you for being willing to join forces for a new adventure though May. What fun we are already having, with much more to come.

    For the smaller things, I absolutely agree with chucking in narrow-minded people. They suck big time and not in a fun way. As for the big fear of Dementia I get this 100%. Growing up both my Mum and my Dad worked in care homes, so dementia was something that inevitably became part of my life. For the last portion of his career as a chef my Dad worked specifically in dementia care homes and it was heartbreaking to get an insight into what dementia means for people.

    I will never forget my Dad telling me that on more than one occasion a dementia patient would come to him and ask for a different type of food, confused as to why they kept being given things they don’t like. My Dad always listened to their choices and often when presenting them with what they had asked for family members (if visiting at meal times) would declare they don’t like that food and would be saddened to be proven wrong. Not because they weren’t happy to see them eating but it was just another reminder that they don’t really know the person inhabiting the body of their loved one in the same way they did.

    I understand dementia is much larger and complex than that one story, but it’s that story that sits alongside my own fear of dementia.

    Another thought-provoking post May xxx

    1. Thanks for that insight Floss – that is it though – the simple things – suddenly not understanding the meal choices of someone you have shared food with for many years – I would find that sad too.
      So glad to be in the f4t venture with you – always a pleasure 😉 x

  2. This is such a great post in so many ways. I really enjoyed the variety of topics that you covered and what you say about fears changing is so true. If we could get rid of something for good then definitely dementia is a good call. ?

  3. Oh yes . . . having seen it in several family members . . . dementia is certainly one of my biggest fears. And, as the years pass, I’m already worried that I’m forgetting things that I shouldn’t. But thankfully not the fun times! (Perhaps that’s a good sign!!!)
    Xxx – K

  4. Some very reasonable fears, it’s a shame that some have come from bad experiences. But its great that your message is to enjoy life for what it is ☺.

  5. Oh yes May. I work with older people and dementia is terrifying. I think it’s mainly to do with control and how we want to perceive ourselves. Yet there is some good work being done though by people creating a bit of space to … deal with it differently. First one that comes to my mind is “disrupting dementia” program by Dr Bill Thomas. Not just about prevention (tho it’s that too!) it’s more about dealing humanely and as joyfully as possible with this real situation that a large portion of us will face either as patients or caregivers. Just throwing it out there in case you ever need (although I hope you won’t). Sometimes our resistance is part of what makes things so hard. xx ?

  6. I agree with this post May, fears do change according to our circumstances. What we have learned makes us think differently – I am nervous of anal sex for the same reasons as you, but playing with butt plugs, that gives me more control and I enjoy it.
    Dementia is a scary one too – I fear it happening to me, but also to people I love. I must check out the post you linked by Eye – I’m sure she sheds light on it in a grounded but enlightening way.
    Thanks for sharing.

  7. Oh, dementia, indeed, that is one of the things I hope never happens to me, or my loved ones. I have a colleague who’s mom had it and it already started in her early 40’s. Her mom passed away at the age of 57. Another colleague’s mom is somewhere in her 70’s and sometimes doesn’t even recognize her own daughter. It’s heartbreaking!

    Rebel xox

  8. That’s a great set.

    I’m with you on the pain thing. I know people get bored of me saying I am not a masochist, but’s true. Only in the depths of the moment does that fear seem like it belongs to someone else and like you, unasked for pain is big no no.

    melody x

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