Round five feedback ~ Smut Marathon 2020

round five feedback

Specification for round five ~ Your story must have the word ‘fireplace’ at least once.

Feedback for Round Five

Feedback takes time. But I am a fan of the smut marathon having fought my way through to the final in 2018 when Marie first opened her competition.

I realised how the process had disciplined my writing. Getting me to think about many aspects of my fiction that I would not have considered if I hadn’t been writing to a prompt and under certain guidelines each month.

What I am looking for as a Judge…

Since then I have penned many stories – mostly mediocre but a few aspiring to be good such as Smile and Catcher.  One thing I have always done is challenge my self along the way to write proper stories with strong characters. And that is what I am looking for when I read the smut marathon entries. At this point in the competition I will tolerate a few errors if the story telling trumps the faults. Of course that will tighten up when we go into the next phase of the competition.

In this round I was looking for more than just a scene. I wasn’t particularly concerned about who did what, in which way with what, to who! Don’t get me wrong I need the details. But more so, I want to know the history of the characters the writer is expecting me to invest time in. I want to be shown how the story unfolds and learn by actions how the characters feel about events. I need to smell their scent and get lured into the intimacy.

Can you do that? If you can you probably got my points.

And so with those thoughts here is my feed back for round five of the smut marathon 2020.  I read all the stories. Made a cut of 30. Re-read and ended up with 19. Here are all those that made my second cut.

(I do have brief – one line or a few words – notes on ALL the entries. If yours is not included here please email, or DM me and I will be happy to talk about feedback for your story.)

Read more here about my process. I do this voluntarily because I love writing.

FeedBack for Round Five in number order…

And what a great round it was.

4) THE AMANUENSIS – 8 Points
I found this Interesting and very sensual. You’ve created two great characters who I believe in and can visualise. You pulled me in immediately by your words and wanting to know more. I really enjoy the theme that runs through too which helps convey to the reader the sensations that are being experienced.
A few of your sentences are rather long which proved a a little harder to read out loud.

5) EAT ME
I like the use of fireplace being different and you have created a hot erotic scene. The style of writing took me along with each new pleasure Rachel experienced. Having had sex on a pool table I resonated with this 😉
Endlessly blue eyes – not sure what this means really.

7) PAVLOVIAN FIRE
The memories in this tale read really well and you have created a story as we have some history included. I feel like i know a little about these characters. Well done.
This reads a little clunky – “He’d only just managed to take his mind off of her.”

8) PLAYING WITH FIREPLACES  – 9
This well written tale stood out for me as soon as I read it. What a fabulous idea and so hot – I want to be that woman. Great story telling. I love the language you have used, and I also liked the comedy aspect to it. I have often thought it would be a fun thing to do – guess a penis! Bravo.

11) RED RED WINE – 2
Love the barrage on ones senses that this story gives the reader. You can almost taste and smell what is happening.  Very sensual tale. A little picky but, “Tonight was their last night” – may read better with evening replacing night.

13) BLOSSOM RAIN
I liked this. Well written and I could feel that fuck and know about the small pink flowers raining down. I do think this would work better as a longer piece as I wasn’t totally sure if it was reality or an other-worldly piece. I found it sad too.
The tenses are a little confusing.

16) LIGHT MY FIRE – 5
Very good – You created a strong character in the detective. I think I knew what the ending was going to be. I also think he wanted it too, in some weird way. Well written and flowed nicely.
I think this is good story telling but I don’t really like the plot. That’s OK though as I was conflicted which is a positive thing.

20) COLOURS OF WAR – 10
“I invade her and she captures me utterly.” Swoon. This was such a poetic read – beautiful and erotic – with a sense of reality thrown in. I simply loved it.  Reminded me of “The Return of Martin Guerre” or the remake “Sommersby.”

21) THEM AND US
I liked this – the way it was written but it also resonated with me in more ways than one. Loved lines such as, “ I lay beside you my fingers curling into your chest hair as my eyes swept over your body.”  However I was left wanting more and I am unsure if the two dicks should be both used in the same sentence.

25) THROUGH THE BURNING GLASS – 4
Great descriptive, spare writing. I love some of the words you have chosen. And you had me squinting in the fire along with your character. Not much sex but you didn’t need it to make this a very sensual story.
I would have like a little more history – why was she there etc.

26) GETTING BURNED – 6
Loved it – well done.  A lot going on in this tale – reminded me a little of the “jack of hearts” by Bob Dylan. The sex scene was fab. I love the word caboodle. The title works well as he got burned in more than one way. I think this could certainly could be extended into a longer story.

30) SHOULD’VE SENT THE PIC
This made me smile and quite an original idea. Both those things got my attention. The ending was cute and I liked the last scenario about the chimney sweep.
I want to know who these people are.

31) TEA AND CRUMPETS  – 7
A great start to this tale. Pulled me in wondering what the hell was happening immediately. Well written and executed. I found the sex scene extremely hot and erotic. And like the last line too.
was an equestrian looking” – hmm not sure about this sentence?

33) THE FIRE INSIDE HER
I like the fact she pleasures herself while there are people there asleep. The thought of that is hot. She just has to do it. This very nearly got points from me.
Where was she going? By letting us know a little more you change a scene to a story.

34) WHERE’S THE GHOST?
Very well  written and I like the theme too. The sex scene was really hot and I was left wanting more. The ghost was a little bit of a surprise and again I wanted to know about that too.

38) CROSS-STATION LESSONS
This was a strange tale but I liked it. Very well written and I could visualise the scene clearly. Another positive point was the comedic aspect. I do like to smile along with my smut and I did with this piece.
I am not sure the ending worked. He obviously liked the experience.

39) CRACKLE AND POP
This tale stayed with me which is a good sign. The memory he describes is wonderfully sensual and descriptive.
However, like the character I was left wanting a little more from the story.

45) FIRST FLAMES OF LOVE – 3
The reason this got my points was I loved that this was a proper story. You really have managed to span a lot of time as well as making the tale sexy. Well done. Some good spare writing . Not sure about –huge hard member. Very tongue in cheek I think. Though it did make me smile.
This is clunky – James spray up and picked it up – a typo? And avoid use of capitals.

48) RODIN’S GATES
This took a little time for me to settle into but when I did I really enjoyed the writing and the tale itself. Such a hot scene! As to the ending OUCH!


I will finish by saying I admire all of you so much for taking the time and patience  to enter the smut marathon. I am sure when you reflect back you will have gained far more than you realise.

smut marathon round five feedback
Round Five Feedback

14 thoughts on “Round five feedback ~ Smut Marathon 2020

  1. I have no complaints with your feed back. As always it is positive and encouraging. I am sure there are times when members of the jury might question the choices made by other jury members but I can’t remember any jury member ever making such forceful and unhelpful comments as those made here by a previous winner of the Smut Marathon.

  2. I wouldn’t normally question another judge’s choices, but I cannot fathom how you gave x points to no. xx – a genuinely terrible piece of writing, with one of the worst sex scenes I’ve ever seen in print – and no points at all to no. xx. Or number xx. I get that everyone’s tastes are different, but there should surely be a basic quality consideration here?

    1. Hi
      Apologies for your comment not appearing sooner but it went straight to my junk folder and I didn’t receive any WP notifications either.
      I hope you don’t mind but as much as I hate censorship I have edited your comment so that the story numbers you mention are not visible. Personally I feel your comments made about a budding writer are far from encouraging. I get that you think it was written badly but as I stated in my post at the moment I will let errors go while the writers are finding their feet. I was looking for stories rather than scenes – and I liked the wistful feel to the piece. And I do have to say that in general this round I am more in agreement with the other judges choices, regarding points given, than you. I wouldn’t normally mention this but I am a bit of a stats freak so keep a note each round regarding choices made. I say let’s get back to the business of trying to be positive, rather than bringing up negative details 😉

  3. Oh! What’s this? I finally make it into your feedback!
    I wrote #26, Getting Burned, thank you for the observations, much appreciated.

    1. Yay – I loved your story. Really looking for original plots now and yours certainly fit the bill. Do you know the song I mention?

    1. ah that was the problem – when we get to later rounds I will tighten up on that kind of thing – but your story was so good I forgave your error 😉
      PS. My “final” SM story – I did the same! Left a word out…

  4. Thanks for your feedback, May.

    I agree with your comment. There was a lot more to the story, but alas, only 400 words…

    1. YAY a comment – I never get many comments on these SM posts although a lot of people view them. What number were you Liz?
      May x

        1. Oh – loved the comedy in your tale and TBH after i had my top 4 any of the others on this page could have got into the points – I just slept on it and re read my notes. I can tell you had more written that would have explained the ending better.
          Mayx

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