As soon as I received this guest post and began to read I was thrown back to a memory from when I was about eighteen.
A relative I called Aunt Laura was married to Geoff. You can see them on a family tree in this post. Which may explain why they never had sex. When I was eighteen Geoff died and Laura told me that truth. I was shocked but listened to the story of how they had loved each other deeply but had demons they were both fighting and because of that lived a life of companionship that she cherished. It had initially been Geoff’s decision but I do not think Laura mourned the sex. The couple found intimacy in other ways and as a child I loved spending time in their house as it seemed full of love.
Years later when my children’s father found out about Laura’s sexless relationship he said he understood how that could work. Little did I know he was wanting to dance closer to that way of life than me. And we ended up in a mainly sexless partnership. Which was one of the reasons I left him.
But I should also add that I have been the partner saying NO to sex in more than one relationship.
So, on the the main course… May More
Finding yourself in a Sexless Relationship ~ Guest Post
The significance of sex in a relationship is unquestionable. The intimacy and passion that comes with it are the things that cement your relationship with another person. Unfortunately, when you’re in a long-term relationship, keeping up the spark can sometimes be challenging.
There are plenty of reasons for sexless relationships, from different sex drives, through lack of time, to psychological causes. If that’s what happened to you, try not to worry. Maybe your partner needs a little time and space to sort things out.
Of course, if the situation continues for a longer period, it might be the sign that something is wrong. If you have a suspicion that things aren’t going the right way, it’s important to take the necessary steps to find out what’s going on.
But on the positive side, it can be a perfect moment for you to discover your body and learn how to satisfy your sexual needs yourself. And how can you achieve that? You’ll find the answer below.
If you’re in a sexless period of your relationship, it may be a great time to be reminded of how to please yourself on your own. And masturbation is an age old method of self care. Touching yourself doesn’t have to be boring. There are many ways to pleasure yourself.
First of all, engage in an anatomy lesson. Learn where and how you should touch yourself to get the satisfaction you seek. Why not use a mirror.
Secondly, take your time. Your masturbation doesn’t have to be short. Stimulate yourself slowly, touch, and don’t rush. You can also do this a couple of times a day if that’s what you need.
And last but not least, get yourself some sex toys. Spice up your masturbation with a dildo, vibrator, cock ring or any other toy available on the market. It may also be a good idea to use some lube to enhance the experience. Oh, and don’t forget to try out various techniques.
No matter your preferences, masturbation can be a fantastic substitute in a sexless relationship. Of course, it won’t give you the same level of intimacy as sex with another person, but remember it’s up to you to explore and make it fun.
The case may be that your partner doesn’t want to have sex because they don’t feel about it the same way they used to. Maybe it’s time to spice things up and get kinky.
Communicate with your partner. Suggest trying out different positions, implement toys, role play, and other things that will make your sex life more exciting.
Also, don’t forget that sex doesn’t have to mean intercourse. You can get involved in mutual masturbation or enjoy oral. Maybe your partner would like to try something else completely. The crucial thing is to talk about it first.
But what if masturbation doesn’t fulfill your needs? Well, the first thing is to ask yourself whether it makes you unhappy. If it does, maybe it’s time to consider opening your relationship.
Keep in mind that we don’t suggest cheating on your partner. We mean an honest talk about your desires and how important sex is for your happiness.
Stay true and create a set of rules you need to follow. If you keep things healthy and fair, everything should work just fine. Also, having sex with another person doesn’t mean you will fall in love with them. You can still love your partner and have an open relationship.
Lack of sex in a relationship can be frustrating, especially if your sex drive is high. Bear in mind that many couples manage this problem, but it’s up to you how you’re going to deal with it.
And while nothing will give you a higher level of intimacy than sexual activity with the person you love, there are some things you can do to stay satisfied.
In this article we discussed masturbation, trying something new in bed to make your sex life more exciting. And considering an open relationship.
Keep in mind that the most important thing is an honest conversation. You need to determine how you feel about your sexless life and how vital sexual intimacy is for you. Also, remember to listen to your partner and try to understand them.
Only being honest with each other will help you solve the problem you’re facing.
This post was introduced by me, May More, but written and sponsored by omg kinky.
Header image copyright May More.