I have been reading a few of the entries for the Erotic Journal Challenge and suddenly realised that I already have a post from eighteen months ago that fits the topic. I originally put this out for TMI Tuesday but have updated it for the EJC.
Don’t forget to check out my February PhotoFest Photos, which incorporate my February Sinful Sunday shots too, over on my subdomain.
Tell us a sexual thing/fantasy you would never want your friends to know you like or have done?
As far as most of my old friends are concerned I wouldn’t like them to know that I get a kick out of bondage. They are pretty much vanilla. Making new kinky friends in the blogging community has helped me share my own kinks without shame.
One activity I have kept pretty quiet about over the years is that I once had the “golden shower” experience. You will be able to read about it sometime, if I ever get back to my 1997 diaries, over on my sister blog which looks back 22 years ago to precisely the golden era. My friends would be horrified if I ever told them about that. A couple of them even seemed shocked that I have enjoyed anal sex in the past.
Has anyone ever found an item of sexy underwear, a sex toy or perhaps a picture on your phone that embarrassed you?
When I was about 17 I was still living with my Mum. I used to often take my diary in the bathroom with me to write or read after I had bathed. One time I discovered that I had left it in there, in full view, for a whole day. I felt very embarrassed as even at that age my diaries were very explicit. I was involved in my first sexual relationship. My boyfriend was very explorative where sex was concerned and the thought that my Mum or step father may have read about our exploits horrified me. I think I walked around blushing for the following week!
Do you have any fantasies you could never go through with because you think you would feel ashamed?
That’s a difficult one. I often fantasise about a MMF threesome but have not investigated it further – not because I may feel ashamed but because I am not sure in reality if the experience would be what I am after from sexual pleasure. Another factor is that I do have some trust issues. I think your partnership and mental health need to be very secure to consider “play time” such as a threesome.
Have you ever felt shame after a sexual experience?
Yes, too often in the past. My early life experiences have occasionally tarnished my past sexual relationships. After a short while, into a relationship, I would just start feeling dirty after any sex really. This reaction led to me feeling ashamed. Years ago I began to recognise a pattern in my sexual behaviour and began to look for answers. It’s been a long haul, but my man’s outlook on sex has helped me no end.
Incidentally, I never felt any shame regarding the golden showers! I enjoyed the humiliation of being used in such a dirty way. But I do understand, for me to enjoy this type of activity, there has to be a set of circumstances that are occurring at the time. To do with the person and my feelings and place within that partership. So I don’t know if I would be interested in that kind of game at the moment.