Smut Marathon Round Three ~ SoSS

Smut Marathon Round Three ~ SoSS

Smut Marathon Round Three and SoSS

The Specification for the Smut Marathon Round Three was:

Write an erotic character sketch of an ‘imperfect’ character – 200 words

Smut Marathon Round Three
Smut Marathon Round Three ~ Click to view other entries & feedback

My Entry…


Fortunes Told

There he was again, his wagon and strawberry roan mare parked on the green, staring right at her. Ella blushed and averted her eyes, his after-image engraved upon her mind. Determined to speak to him yet rooted to the spot.

Moving slowly, deliberately towards her, his slender, loose hips swaggered in heavy blue jeans.

Persuasively, he beckoned. She followed.

There was a sign on the door –
“Fortunes told.”

Gesturing for her to sit – his white, frayed shirt contrasted against his swarthy complexion, a red neckerchief loosely tied and a loop earring tangled with his wavy black hair – he stroked her palm with long slender fingers, one adorned by a thick gold band.

She looked into his whisky coloured eyes, his generous mouth curved in a smile and Ella inexplicably had a vision. Rather than him predicting her future, she saw his. A thief, who stole young women’s hearts while his was owned by another. The same hand that held hers, caressing plump, soft curves. She could almost smell the musty aroma of sex as she saw him exploring the wet folds of the woman’s cunt. Transfixed by this insight, the face of the girl startled her – Ella recognised herself.


I was happy with my effort and may build a whole story around this theme.

Comments & Points

The public vote was very much behind me as I landed in 3rd place by receiving 13 votes. For this triumph, I was awarded a mighty 8 points.

Most importantly jumping 12 positions from 25th to 13th place. 😉

However, I didn’t receive any of the judge’s votes, but did get some fantastic comments from those kind enough to leave feedback.

Lucy said

I love, love, love “Fortune’s Told” – it’s sexy and subtle. The description of the fortune teller is the perfect balance between giving me an idea of what he looks like, without being a police bulletin. I love that the flaw is something that doesn’t make the character dislikeable…

I was very flattered by her words as she is a fantastically imaginative, sexy writer. Check out her stories.  You won’t regret it.

Other great comments mentioned how they liked my descriptive narrative, enjoyed the twist at the end, plus the fact it was a complete story in its own right.

A few replies questioned what the flaw was. (He was a serial adulterer). And also asked which character I was highlighting.

I very much appreciated the constructive criticism I received from Charlie. She mentioned it was not overly clear whether the horse or the man is staring at Ella. When I re-read I suddenly noticed this was true. I should have seen this before sending it in. Charlie carried on to say she was impressed I had created a whole story in just 200 words and the description of the horse immediately drew the reader in. I really took all this on board so for SM4 entry I have tried to get the readers attention immediately.

Her entry was one of my favourites of the round. She elaborates it further in a great story on her blog.

Smut Marathon Round Three Voting

I have found the voting and comments to be quite intriguing as it has highlighted how different people can be regarding their likes, dislikes and what they view as good creative writing. This is illustrated by the following entries from Sweeten Dirty and Nero.

Sweeten Dirty wrote this piece for SM3

Gift Opening

He always wondered what the tattoo was that barely peaked above the waist of her jeans. Tonight he got the chance to see it in full, the tiger head in the shape of a butterfly. Strong, beautiful, and graceful; just like Calissa herself.

As he watched her undress, he couldn’t help but notice his cock coming to life. Calissa was beautiful, he thought to himself. He didn’t understand how he was the only one to see it. The way her crooked smile lit up the room, her slight underbite giving her the sexiest of smirks, and those sweet milk chocolate eyes that made him drown in lust every time she looked at him.

Slowly she unwrapped herself for him, each layer of clothing that was removed made Calissa one step closer to being his special gift. She kept his gaze, her seductive brown eyes locking onto his, her vision traveling down to his waist. She grinned at the sight of the bulge that was begging to be free from the confines of his jeans, anticipating the feeling of having him inside her later.

Neither of them were perfect, but they were perfect together.

She received some good comments. I really liked her entry and in my additional read through her it was in my top 10. Despite this, and even though she ticked the required erotic box, it did not receive any votes – which surprised me.

Nero wrote this:

Middle Mike

Mike Andrews was a man not be trifled with. His face was always contorted – scrunched up – like someone had farted in the lift he’d just come out of. He wore plain wire rimmed glasses that looked great in the catalogue but did nothing for him. But they matched his black hair, which was short, thin and wirey. Maybe if he dressed better he’d have more luck with women, but he didn’t. He bought all his clothes from TopMan, which was bearable when he was twenty but ridiculous now he was thirty.

When Mike looked in the mirror he saw a smart dressed middle management executive at a leading bank. When others looked at him they saw a man in an ill fitting suit with rounded shoulders and dull gray eyes. He would walk briskly around the office floor, imagining himself as some dynamic individual in an Aaron Sorkin show, but to his coworkers he just seemed pissed off and angry all the time. When he spoke it was in a droning monotone but the minute you responded he would start shouting, tell you you were wrong, and to just bloody get on with it. He was that type of guy.

I thought it was a wonderful character sketch but it’s not in the least bit erotic. Nevertheless, it still picked up a judges vote. Indeed it was one of the judges second favourite entries.

Others I liked include:

I Will by Scandarella – I remember guys just like this when I was young.

The Watcher by Elliott Henry – though this was dirty rather than erotic.

Thick Skin by David Watson – Very raw and left me wanting more.

Round Four

At the time of writing this, I have not yet finished my entry. The Smut Marathon is certainly an enjoyable challenge and is encouraging me to be more disciplined woth my writing. And for me, round four is the hardest one yet…

Check out some of my past sharing posts.

10 thoughts on “Smut Marathon Round Three ~ SoSS

  1. I got so hung up on googling what a ‘character sketch’ was that I lost sight of the other key word in the assignment: ‘erotic’. Thats a good lesson for everyone in the Smut Marathon. Stay focussed!

  2. Love to hear a continuation of your story. The smart marathon has been fun, just sent mine in. And, thank you for including me here. Yeah, I totally missed the ‘erotic’ part of the assignment.

  3. Thanks May -I enjoyed this, and totally agree with what Marie has commented. It’s great to hear your thoughts and see your comparisons. It does seem that the public and the judges vote very differently, but I think Marie has found this to be the pattern over the years she’s run the competition.

  4. I love your roundups of the rounds of the Smut Marathon and how you highlight the works of others too! Thanks for that 🙂

    Rebel xox

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