Stimulating Foundations ~ Keeping us alive

Stimulating Foundations ~ Keeping us alive

A relationship should have it’s foundation fixed on firm ground. That sounds sensible to me. But what should the foundation consist of? Well, surely this will be unique for every partnership.

Romantic Foundations

I expect a very healthy foundation would be one of trust. But I am not great on trust. It is something I find very difficult and eventually came to the conclusion that many times in my life mistrust of others or situations have served me well. So I have stopped worrying about my trust issues.

Love is complicated. As in you fall in love and if you are lucky as time goes by you remain loving each other, but in a less obsessively crazy way! So I think although it is a romantic ideal, love can be too fickle to be at the heart of your relationship foundation. But it is always nice to sustain that loving feeling!

Physical Foundations

A while ago I included this in a post…

One thing I would tell young people today is make sure you are sexually compatible with your chosen mate. Sexual chemistry is very important as is being able to discuss wants, needs and fantasies (even if you have no desire to change them into a reality.) Of course,  communication is key.

I will never forget when I first lay next to my man and told him some of my pervy thoughts. It was such a relief when he simply matched them with some of his own and we discussed what we wanted to do with our new found knowledge about each other’s filthy minds. Yes, that was a fine and gratifying indulgence.

And for me and my man the strongest thing that ties us together and is very much at the heart of our foundation is SEX. Even when I am so angry with him that I can hardly speak, I still want to fuck him.

The lockdown has brought all kinds of challenges to many people’s door step. My man and I have been locked up together for so much time over the last year it is a wonder we can bear the sight of each other. For a while when our living situation was so dire I disconnected from him completely, but we still fucked. Over this lockdown we have noticed that due to various reasons – I won’t bore you with – we both let our personal grooming go to a certain extent. But we still seemed to find the other attractive and fuckable! My man says he feels for him, it is because he heavily associates me with good sex, so the desire always kicks in.

Mental Foundations

I need my partner to be more intelligent than me. I want to learn and hate feeling intellectually superior to a lover. Intelligence is sexy as fuck. Thankfully, in my opinion, I have only ever known well, one other guy who was as intelligent as my man. We both think out of the box and some of our thought patterns are similar. This works extremely well for adding to our foundation. We understand where the other person is coming from. We can discuss ideas and know that our dialogue will be open plus there will already be an initial understanding of any concepts talked about. It is tiring having to explain every little thing to the person you live with. It’s far better if each of you have a grasp of what makes the other tick, mentally.

Fun ~ creating memories

Having read Marie’s post I wanted to add that I consider having fun together, be it sexually or spending time doing things you both enjoy, is so important. As this is a way of creating unforgettable memories that will stay with you and in turn add to your foundation.


So in conclusion. I expect every relationship dynamic have different elements as part of their solid foundation. For me, it is the stimulating foundations that matter – sex, mental understanding and having fun together.  These things help to keep our partnership alive.

Written exclusively for Tell Me About


7 thoughts on “Stimulating Foundations ~ Keeping us alive

  1. In addition to dynamics, there is a static in a relationship – love, family, home. It seems to me that it is the static that is the basis of the relationship. And having fun together is great. But this is definitely not the basis.

  2. Having a partner that is more intelligent than I am, definitely is something I want too. Where Master T definitely fits this bill, there are some things I know more about than him, such as website/blog building, but there are so many things he know a lot more about than I do. That’s a huge turn-on.
    ~ Marie xox

  3. This is really interesting and I agree with you that these are important foundations to have. I think being able to connect emotionally is also important for me because without that I don’t really want the sex so perhaps sex would be less important in terms of a foundation for me. You have me thinking again. Missy x

  4. This is quite interesting. I am the intellectually superior one in my primary relationship but I came to hate it. I’d prefer someone who is broadly on my level and able to challenge me. Someone where we can both learn and play with ideas. Me being more intellectual worked well before we had children. I guess that was the point where it changed for me.

    1. Well let’s just say my man’s IQ is higher than mine – but I am certainly NOT stupid and have my own areas of expertise where I top him. So we learn from each other. But on the whole he is smarter than me. But lets look at the wider picture there are many different aspects to intelligence – my man has an extremely high IQ, and IQ represents potential. But personality comes into these matters too and I don’t have any problems standing my ground in a discussion with him and challenging some of his ideas. This is the first time this has happened for me. All my other partners could not match my intelligence and I am a sub in some respects so I just ended up not respecting them

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