In today’s society, it is extremely easy to find out about any number of sexual activities. This may sound like a good thing but I believe it actually hinders learning by muddying the waters.
What a nightmare for the young. At every turn, they can access so much rubbish and be influenced inappropriately about how to behave sexually. It is so important to gain information from credible sources. Parents need to take responsibility for their children’s sex education and give them a balanced outlook to take through to adulthood.
It is probably impossible to restrict your teenager’s internet activity to such an extent that they are not privy to some kind of damming sex advice or porn movie. Even if you manage to do this in your home there are plenty of other places they can go online to feed their curiosity. And no amount of blocks or censorship will stop a computer savvy youngster from finding what they think they need to know.
Sex Education begins at home
Youngsters are probably more likely to seek out such information if sex is viewed as a taboo word in their own home. Within the family unit sex should be talked about frequently. Start from a young age so that when you, as a parent, really do want to pass on some important knowledge nobody is embarrassed about the topic raised. There are so many people outside of the home willing to influence your child. With this in mind, don’t you think you should get in there first? So the children receive a balanced view.
Young adults should learn that it’s OK to enjoy sex but being old enough to have sex comes hand in hand with the responsibility of treating the other person with respect. This information should be imparted irrespective of your child’s gender. Furthermore, parents should teach their offspring communication is key – listening to the other person and imparting your own wishes.
Being a Parent
In my own experience, I found that welcoming my daughter’s boyfriend into the house worked well. If they were going to have sex I wanted them to be in a safe environment. From the age of sixteen, I allowed him to stay the night in my daughter’s room. I do understand that many parents would find this difficult to do, but it worked for us. His family behaved in a similar way so they felt secure to hang out at either home.
I discussed different aspects of being in a sexual relationship, and the importance of birth control and protection, with her. She tells me now I was very direct in my approach – probably too direct. However, knowing I was not going to be shocked or disappointed by her questions meant she was happy to ask me pretty much anything.
Now she is older she continues to tell me all sorts of things regarding her sexual activites. Far too much information! Rather this than worry about her safety.
Growing up for me
Being sexualised early meant I found myself ahead of the game in some ways. My friends and I would talk about what we knew and impart information.
I attended a convent school which meant important things like contraception were not talked about. My Mum was very open but I felt too embarrassed to talk much to her about sex.
My first boyfriend and I learned a lot together as we explored within our relationship. We also entertained and educated ourselves with some friends when he got hold of a lot of old 1970’s porn movies.
Talking about sex is viewed as taboo by all kinds of people – not to be discussed except in a whisper. With censorship on the up and invading everything, it is no wonder our society seems to be returning to a pre-victorian version.
Header photo from Pixabay.