The Fighter Remains ~ Guest Post

The Fighter Remains ~ Guest Post

Let me introduce you to Vlad. I think this is a powerful post with an important message .

Please give him a warm welcome as he is digging deep within to share some of his life with you today.

The Boxer

In the clearing stands a boxer,
and a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev’ry glove that laid him down or cut him
‘Til he cried out,
In his anger and his shame
“I am leaving, I am leaving,”
but the fighter still remains.

– From “The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkel

music fighter
The fighter remains

This is possibly my favourite lyric of all time, from one of my favourite songs of all time. It is followed by a powerful refrain that always makes me shut my eyes and just feel. This lyric is not only visually stimulating and heartbreaking, it is an incredible metaphor for fighting through all that life throws at you. It often creates a lump in my throat.

In My Life

Life has thrown me two suicides (one a very close friend, the other a family member), a tragic death in the family, and being semi-publicly kink-shamed by my exwife in a very successful process to deflect attention away from her affair. People love judging kink far more than they love judging affairs. It was a hard lesson to learn.

During the first of these events – a suicide – I stood up to the challenge of holding the families together; of being the strong one. The comforter. That set the precedence for the subsequent deaths; strong ‘Uncle Vlad’ being there. It doesn’t mean I didn’t feel all those experiences as deeply as everyone else. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what it means.

I have always viewed those three deaths as vicious left hooks delivered by life’s Mike Tyson. Knocked me on my arse. Yet…sometimes you just have to get off the mat, dust yourself off, then look life right in the eye and say “Fuck You”. Accept one truth: that you have to let the pain go, and if you don’t you will lose the long game. Happiness becomes elusive as depression takes hold.

The kink-shaming event was, believe it or not, the worst thing I have ever experienced. The repercussions lasted many years (in fact – even to this very day, thirty years later), and brought me right to the very edge. I am ever thankful that when I looked over the edge, I didn’t like the view. I accept that life almost gave me a TKO, but it hasn’t yet.

The fighter still remains.

At one time or another, almost all of us have experienced anger, shame, hurt and pain. It can pull a person into a pit of mud and it can keep a person there if they are not careful. However, even with help, at the end of the day it all depends on perseverance, inner strength, and staying true to yourself and your beliefs. Fighting on while ignoring every scar in your mind, body and/or soul.

The message is pure and simple:

Leave the pain behind, but always keep the fighter.

You can find Vlad on Twitter. Or on Amazon. He also has an older guest post on Posy’s Blog.

Header image – copyright Vlad Lioncourt.

Check out some of my other guests I have been happy to host.

This post has been linked to the two memes below as well as Music as Muse.

The Fighter Remains #35


Music on, World off

27 thoughts on “The Fighter Remains ~ Guest Post

  1. Sexual betrayal by a partner you love dearly (and assumed they felt the same way) can be deeply hurtful; but doubly so if that sexual intimacy you once shared is weaponised against you (I’m assuming she accepted your kink at the time?). Just be grateful she doesn’t have pictures (again, I’m making an assumption).

    1. You are correct on all three counts. The betrayal to simply protect her image almost destroyed me, but I got through it. Thank you for responding. Much appreciated.

    2. Wonderful post from Vlad. He and I have been talking since my recent family tragedy and his strength is speaking from a wise place, giving me great advice and encouragement. He helps me stay positive, he and May check in on me often. This post strips him bare which shows wonderful bravery and strength. I hope this helps others facing troubles/challenges.

      The song is a great one and the same verse as Vlad chose always grabs me and twists my heart.

      1. From Vlad ~ Thank you so much Posy. I was proud of how you and your family survived the recent punches from Life. You are amazing, and it is wonderful to see you continue to be such a positive force in the lives of all you encounter. Stay you.

    1. From Vlad ~ Thank you kindly. It was a tough piece to write, but I felt the message was an important one. I hope a few can adopt the perspective.

    1. From Vlad ~ You are most welcome, and thank you for your supportive comments. I, like many, do still have fights with Life. And I still lose the odd battle, but am determined to win the war.

  2. We all take on roles within our families; I speak from experience when I say that to be a source of strength for others despite your own pain takes a lot out of you. But sometimes it’s the right thing – the only thing you can do.

    Thank you for sharing your experience.

    1. From Vlad ~
      “You are absolutely correct. It is just the right thing to do, and one cannot shirk that responsibility, no matter the cost. It is helping yourself afterwards that is the biggest fight, and recognizing what is happening is key.

      Most welcome!”

  3. Vlad thank you for sharing. Standing up from life’s left hooks, is something I can relate to. your words have helped me get ready for the next round.

    1. From Vlad ~ “You are most welcome. If my words helped you prep for the next round, that is awesome. Gives you a much better chance at winning.”

      1. From Vlad – “Thank you very much. You are 100% correct; events will always happen. There is no way to avoid them. The only thing you can control is how you react.”

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