I was out with an old friend recently and we were chatting about someone we know who seems to have so many faces depending on who she is socializing with.
And I don’t mean reading a situation and then behaving accordingly. Di portrays herself differently depending on who she is with.
Don’t get me wrong I understand masks are sometimes needed to protect yourself. She used hers for other reasons.
My old friend complimented me by saying I never attempt to be anyone but me.
Then when I saw the prompt suggested by Posy it got me thinking. There are lots of people like Di and often it is easy to be taken in by them, abused even. The different masks they put on are purposely to fool – for their own benefit.
The Great Pretender may wear many masks in the span of a lifetime.
Here is my story. Duped by a great pretender. I give you permission to read between the lines. A new title indicates another mask and time passing.
I met him at a party. He put on his first mask. Suitor. Attentive, understanding and occasionally witty. Where was the harm in a few dates? Not my usual sort but he seemed nice enough.
How thoughtful of him to pick me up after a night out with the girls. Not only that he is always there to guard my honour when another man gets a little frisky or flirty with me. I can see he is fearless, strong too. But worry about his need for me to be dependent on him.
I never realised that my past behaviour with guys had been so “dirty.” I suppose it must have been – he seems shocked when I tell him how many men I’ve slept with and what we got up to. He also disregards my difficult history.
Not only that he likes to know where I am going in the evening and can be very aggressive with some of my old male friends. I do hope he gets over this jealousy. But perhaps it is my fault? He has so many faces – I am unsure what to expect. I begin to doubt myself.
Just when I thought I could see through his mask he took it off and put one on that was a reflection of me. Agreeing with my views, likes and dislikes. Lulling me into a false sense of security, simply to have his way and keep me on side. Now we are settled he takes on my friends too. And almost mirrors the person I am. It is comforting but disconcerting too.
I find being a new parent so daunting but he seems to manage all the tasks without a worry or a care. And I know, if I let him, he’d would take over my mothering role as well. I feel relegated to a back seat. That is until there is a real problem and then he briefly puts on his husband face and defers back to me.
We split up and he puts on the mask of one who has been betrayed. I’m evil. Selfish. A good time girl not to mention a dreadful mother. What did he ever see in me?
The need to punish me for leaving becomes his obsession. He won’t stop until he has seen me practically shake at the sight of him. He sets about doing various things to thwart me and bring me down – A smile on his masked face when he detects he is winning the battle.
Because he can no longer control me he attempts to dominate the children as they grow up. Such behaviour will never end well.
There are many people like this in the world. If only we could recognise them but their features are always hidden by one mask or another. Quickly changing before detection. Such daily pretense means they never evolve as a person. Their emotional development is stunted.
The experience of knowing the great pretender gave me my children but chipped away at my identity and messed with my mind. Mask wearers are often sociopaths or even psychopaths.
Beware the Great Pretender…
Images from Pixabay.