the real thing

The Real Thing 1 ~ Swinging in 69

We believe that sex should be enjoyed without reservation, judgment, or guilt.” I read out the blurb from the side of the sex toy box. Although, there is nobody but me to hear.

Let me join that cause. I’m all for sexual enjoyment but maybe I should have tried a little harder in the “without reservation” department? Perhaps Eve would never have left if I’d behaved less conventionally, now and then, where sex was concerned. I mean she bought me this male masturbatory toy over a year ago saying she wanted us to try it together. But I put it away in a drawer. I just wanted her. The real thing. What did I want with a sex toy when I had her sweet pussy to fuck?

But Eve’s gone, and I am left with an empty wardrobe and a cold space on the left side of the bed. I work such long hours at the bank that I have to say meeting women is difficult for me. My dick is sure getting fed up of my hand why not give the toy a try?

After a warm bath I wrap myself in a towelling gown and lay back on the leather chaise longue. Chilled and feeling somewhat horny. I grab the remote and switch to the adult channel for some voyeuristic action. My favourite. The toy is ready to go and after a few stokes of my shaft and a squeeze of my balls so is my cock.

Slipping my rod into the silicone sleeve the surround begins to heat and and vibrate. This setting seems perfect. I can hardly believe how easy it is. Gradually I am aware of a sucking sensation. It feels so authentic – the real thing – as if Eve has her rose bud lips pursed around my shaft. I picture her naked kneeling by the sofa, tits hanging down and slightly swaying as she works for my pleasure. My head falls back on to the cushion as I feel the start of my climax rising. I briefly wonder how easy the toy will be to clean when I have juiced the inside before the usual haze hits my brain and every nerve begins to tingle with pleasure as my balls feel like they are about to expl… when – what… a woman’s voice?

“Ah Ted that’s it just ‘ang on a little longer. Yeah, yer got it babe.”

I open my eyes and see a petite platinum blond riding my cock – instead of the toy – as if I am a bull in a rodeo. Small boobs bouncing in unison as she tweaks her protruding nipples simultaneously. Glancing around I realise that somehow I have been transported on to a small bed, in a small room. Maybe I am dreaming? Perhaps I had one too many whiskeys. Right at that moment the girl clenches her muscles and I can not hold back any longer. I throw my hips up to grind against hers. And we both scream and shudder our release.

She stays still for a second apart from brushing the fringe from her eyes. I can see dark hair appearing from the roots and her pubic bush tells me she is not a natural blond. Jumping off me, she grabs a baggy T shirt and pulls it over her head. Mick Jagger now stares out from her frame as she disappears into the bathroom. Looking down I see I have a rubber to dispense with. Apart from that I am still dressed in my gown as if everything is normal. But it certainly isn’t.

Disorientated I get up taking care to hold the condom carefully between thumb and fore finger so that the spunk doesn’t leak on to the … looking down … patterned lino floor. There is lino everywhere. I can clearly see it is a very old fashioned bedsit. Tiny TV in the corner. Formica kitchen area over one side, and the bed. She emerges from the only other room and leaves the door open for me.

“Don’t yer drop that now. I ain’t gonna want to clean up that sticky stuff,” she giggles as I disappear into the bathroom.

I can hardly believe the interior. One of those old fashioned toilets with the cistern high and a flush that actually needs to be pulled. I watch as the rubber spirals down the bowl and wash my hands.

When I walk back in to the living area she is laying the small square table and I can see we have fried eggs and ham for dinner.

She studies me from under long false lashes as we eat. I must say all the action has left me with an appetite and it is a long time since I’ve eaten ham and eggs. I feel I should say something. After all I have just fucked this woman and am now eating food she’s prepared.

“How are youuu…eh?” I pause hoping she will fill in her name. Thankfully she does just that.

“Linda – is that what yer looking for?”

“Yes, yes. Forgive me. It’s been, let’s say, a long day.”

“Honestly Ted. You are so thoughtless at times. I mean one minute your ‘ere. Next yer gone and I don’t see yer for weeks. What’s a gal ta do?”

She picks up a news paper that’s laying on the kitchen counter and purses her lips, looking stern. Then, snaps the paper open in front of her face, as if ignoring me.

I glance at the front cover – July 21th – well that’s correct but the news is showing the moon landing. How can that be? I squint and see the year – 1969. What the hell’s going on? I was born in 1969. Surely this is not right? But everything around me looks like it’s from that era. Including Linda.


She ignores me.

“Linda, where did you get the newspaper?”

“Gawd Ted. Yer really thick at times. From the bloody newsagents this morning. As I always do. Are yer coming down with somethink? Yer look rather pale.”

She presses her small hand against my forehead and I confess I don’t feel too well at all.

“Lay down Ted. I’ll join yer once I’ve finished me bottle of coke and cleaned up.”

I go over to the bed, lay down, still in my dressing gown and pull the blanket over me shutting my eyes for a minute. The next thing I know Linda’s hand is mauling my cock. That’s what it feels like. She’s not being particularly gentle.

“Com’on Ted. Give us a bit.”

She starts rolling me over to her side and within moments I’m on top ramming her as if she’s the last girl on earth. She digs her nails into my back as she ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ with delight. Then without too much warning I begin to come. My head feels as if it’s going to burst and my whole body tingles. Thrusting into her a few more times I reply loudly with my own moan,


My heart’s beating so fast, I take a moment before I open my eyes. And you’ve guessed it – I’m laying front down on my chaise, dick having just erupted into the sex toy.

What the..?

I sit up and grab the user guide looking for any sign to explain the magical trip I’ve just been on…

To be continued…

Preview of Part Two

“I open my eyes. to the welcome sight of Linda. On her knees, pert titties jiggling slightly as her head bobs up and down on my dick. Her tongue soothing my swollen knob with each suck of her mouth.”

Read it here – or wait until I publish part 2 of the Real thing on Sex Matters next week…

Mmm Mondays


The Real Thing was written for, and sponsored by, Bestvibe back in mid 2020.

21 thoughts on “The Real Thing 1 ~ Swinging in 69”

  1. I love what you did with this and the magical element. Time travel is so interesting and if there was a sex toy as a portal, I can only imagine …. 🙂

  2. trippy story and well done. I love the time shift details. ther emight be nothing like the real thing but the mind can do some crazy things to us too.

  3. I don’t know about that coke slogan May, because this masturbatory toy clearly refreshes the parts that other toys fail to reach. There’s no ‘Probably’ about it. Like Elliott, I’m gagging for the next instalment. xx

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