True Blue Insomnia, Masturbation & Myths

Since I became peri-menopausal I have had sleep related problems that can only be described as interrupted slumber.

On occasions I would define it as insomnia. After all the idea that insomnia is solely not being able to sleep is a myth.

Insomnia is the inability to fall asleep or stay asleep, or waking too early.

But before the world went crazy I used to work. Much of my day was spent outside in the fresh air and this included physical labour too. I loved it. The country air and the animal smells filled my soul and the physicality kept me fit. Not to mention I like wearing my wellies.  Most nights even if I had a hormonal temperature change I would sleep OK. Long enough.

But, if I awoke, I’d throw the covers off to cool down. At this point I may lay still so as not to disturb my man. Then, my mind would begin to wander and wonder.

Once cool I attempt to sleep. But sleep usually evades me. The fucker. I can chase it for a bit quite happily following that image that flits before my eyes but can never quite catch it. The white rabbit gets away. It’s at this point that my right hand slowly slides from my clavicle, where it often rests, down the side of my body and comes to a halt on top of my mound.

I  steal a look across at my man and if I hear steady breathing and if he is quite peacefully sleeping I move my hand lower searching for the line that cuts open my cunt.

Now my dirty mind comes into it’s own. I begin to conjure up all kinds of “blue” thoughts and play that come my way. A slut on her knees begging to suck my man’s cock as he unzips and pushes his hips forward. His cock lays waiting as her eyes look up and her pout widens to take him in.

With such torrid images I run my finger tip along my slit and pulse above  my bud. It never takes long. As I lay still and silently climax, in my mind, he shoots his load to the back of the whores throat.

Then as my heart beats faster I turn on to my side, push up beside my man and feel the warmth of his skin against my cooled breasts. Now I sleep.

Although I have to admit that on occasions if my man is stirring I roll over and get him involved too.

Since the lock down I find I am awake more and more in the middle of the night. I try not to worry and usually think about my writing or blog and come up with story ideas.

I was talking to Mona today and we agreed that in regards to anxiety and sleep it is a myth that such mental health problems only cause a lack of sleep. We have both found that in times of stress, such as now with the lock down, we may alternate between periodic sleep and intense deep sleep. When mentally low I can on occasions go to bed and almost flick a switch to take me to that other world where I meet people from the past, loved ones who have died and those that I don’t even know but often appear in my dreams.

Then it seems like I am living another life, in a parallel consciousness…

#409 Blue thoughts
Insomnia #64


Myth Busting #143

12 thoughts on “True Blue Insomnia, Masturbation & Myths”

  1. The italicised part, is that just your mind wondering or do you actually do this? It seems a little similar to the fantasies I’d made up in my mind to try and help me fall asleep, though the content of mine were a bit different! I completely agree with you that it’s only mental health problems that cause disturbance in sleep. Even just the fact that you’re having to stay inside will likely affect your sleep because your body is functioning very differently now. I’ve heard form many people that their sleep has been affected by these changed circumstances

  2. When I can’t sleep, I know if I could just have a mind blowing orgasm I could & would sleep like a baby. 😉
    Gorgeous photo May. Love it!!! and goes perfect with your writing.

  3. I used to masturbate if I was having trouble getting to sleep. That doesn’t work for me anymore. One, I have no interest, so when I try the former sleep solution, it feels like a chore. And two, if I *do* go forward with said chore, it wakes me up instead of putting me to sleep.

    So yeah.

    The joy of menopause.

    1. I have to be in the right mood for sure. Lately my libido is low. If my man gives me an orgasm it tends to wake me – but masturbating sends me to asleep lol well 9 times out of 10

  4. I can relate to this May, very much so. Part of my perimenopause has meant that I need less sleep. I get a “second wind” when OH and the kids go to bed so I do some writing then. My morning time hasn’t changed and I find it easier to get up and get going than when I was in my 20s, or 30’s then I would always be wishing for some extra time in bed. Before I sleep, or in the middle of the night I indulge in thoughts and sometimes actions which are self pleasure related, and like you I find them to be relaxing enough to assist sleep.

  5. I know exactly what you mean by this kind of sleep, where you seem to be awake but you are actually sleeping, or where you feel you have been awake all night, while in fact you did get some sleep in between those waking moments. In the last week and a half I have dreamed of my mom a lot, and have seen her face three times, while in all the time preceding I saw her face only once… that tells me how stressed I am…
    Take care, May, and rest when you can. Or indulge in your ‘blue’ thoughts 😉

    Rebel xox

  6. I know what you mean about being menopausal and sleep. It has affected me like that also and the same for times of stress. I usually get to sleep ok but then will wake up and often it feels better just to give up and start the day ?

  7. You do have a lovely body. But what I find exciting is how you will wake up and masturbate to put you back to sleep! For whatever reason as a caged male I love that. Maybe because that isn’t something I can do. lol

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